Just to clarify things for the sense of humour impaired, pick-up lines rarely work if you use them to directly approach a stranger. So, Seduction Labs won’t be held responsible if you get yourself slapped, arrested or banned from your favourite drinking establishment.

However, we love to have a laugh, and some of these chat-up lines are pretty funny. So, if your joking around with people in a bar or club, these lines will certainly help you raise a few chuckles.

We’ve tried to list as many lines as we could find from ancient joke email lists and similar sources. But, if your favourite line isn’t on the list, please do feel free to send it in, and share with the rest of the world.

• Baby, I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock!
• I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you
• Excuse me; do you have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine
• I can’t find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street
• I’m new in town; could I have directions to your house?
• If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be the McGorgeous
• Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
• Your body’s name must be Visa, because it’s where I want to be
• Yo! Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I’ll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I’ll do it your way
• You’re just like a parking ticket; you’ve got ‘Fine’ written all over you
• You’re far more beautiful than my wife
• Your teeth sparkle like the stars, do they come out at night?
• Your eyes are like spanners; every time I look into them my nuts tighten
• You’re such a sweetie; you could put Cadbury’s out of business
• You’re so hot; you melt the plastic in my underwear
• You’re legs must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all night
• You might not be the most beautiful girl in the world, but beauty is only a light switch away
• You might as well sleep with me; I’m going to tell all your mates that you did anyway
• You don’t sweat much for a fat girl
• What’s a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
• This isn’t a beer belly; it’s a fuel tank for a love machine
• They call me Pizza boy. If I don’t come in 30 minutes, the next one is free
• There’s a party in my pants, and you’re invited
• The word on the street is ‘legs’. Let’s go back to my house and spread the word
• My Love for you is like diarrhoea… I can’t hold it in
• My face is leaving in five minutes… Be on it
• Is your name Jacobs? Because you’re a real cracker
• Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get
• Is that a ladder in your tights, or the stairway to heaven?
• Is it that cold out, or are you smuggling tic-tacs?
• I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight
• I’m a pirate looking for treasure; can I look in your chest?
• I’m a little short of cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home?
• If you were a door, I’d bang you all night
• If you were a bogie… I’d pick you
• If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
• If I follow you home, will you keep me?
• I’d walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even further for that thing you do with your tongue
• I’ve had quite a bit to drink, and you’re beginning to look pretty good
• I am a mortgage advisor; do you want to see the benefits of a large endowment?
• How would you like to see the soles of your shoes in my wing mirrors?
• Hi, I’m Mr Right; I heard you were looking for me
• Here’s 50p; call your mum and tell her you won’t be home tonight
• Have you got Star Wars pants on? Because your arse is out of this world
• Get your coat Babe, you’ve pulled
• Does this cloth smell of Chloroform to you?
• Do you like raisins? Well how about a date then?
• Do you give head to strangers? Well, allow me to introduce myself
• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
• Can I have a photo of you? So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas
• Bad guys want to steal my penis; can I hide it in your vagina?
• Baby, you’re so hot that you should be held responsible for Global warming
• Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
• That shirt looks very becoming on you… Of course if I were on you I’d be coming too
• Is your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the sky, and put them in your eyes!
• Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!
• That dress looks nice… Of course, it’d look even better crumpled up in the corner of my room
• Are you lost? Because heaven’s a long way from here
• Pardon me; is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I keep seeing myself in your pants
• Hey baby, wanna sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up!?
• Would you like to have breakfast tomorrow? Should I nudge you or call you?
• [Check female’s shirt tag]… Just as I thought, made in heaven!
• Were your parents Greek gods? Because it takes two gods to make a goddess
• Nice to meet you, I’m [your name] and you are… gorgeous!
• Your name is Sandra, huh? Can I call you Sandy? Really, what time?
• Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot
• Have you seen [any movie]? Would you like to?
• Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
• If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
• Miss, if you’ve lost your virginity, could I have the box it came in?
• Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you!
• Do you sleep on your front? Do you mind if I do?
• If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
• Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? No, huh… So you want to go somewhere and talk?
• [To female at the copy machine] Reproducing, eh? Mind if I help?
• Hey baby, you want to see something swell?
• Hi, I’m conducting a feel test to see how many women here have pierced nipples…
• Are you religious? Cause I’m the answer to all your prayers!
• I love every bone in your body… Especially mine
• [With hands on shoulders] Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings
• Pardon me, are you in heat?!
• Are you OK? Because heaven’s a long fall from here
• You know, I never was very good at maths… Like if I put you and I together, I’d get 69
• You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls
• You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
• Can I borrow 50p? Because my mum told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams
• You’re good at maths right? Is 69 a perfect square?
• Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
• Your face or mine?
• Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
• Hey Baby! I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
• Hey Baby! I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs
• Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
• Make a calling card that says… Smile if you want to sleep with me! Then watch your victim try to hold back her smile
• Hi, my name’s ________, how do you like me so far?
• Why don’t you sit on my lap and we’ll get things straight between the two of us
• Hey baby! Wanna go get some pizza and screw? What you don’t like pizza?
• She: [to passing man] Do you have the time? Him: Do you have the energy?
• Bond. James Bond
• You know, I’d really love to screw your brains out, but it appears someone has already beaten me to it
• You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book. So, what’s one more?
• Her: What do you think of this [dress, sweater, blouse, etc.]? Him: I like nothing better
• Walk up to a lady at a social gathering [party, club, etc.] and simply ask, are you ready to go home now?
• You know, I’d give you a piece of my mind, but I’ve got more of something else
• At the dinner table, if you eat together, pick up the bread and ask, “wanna roll”?
• You know, you’ve got the prettiest teeth I’ve ever dreamed of coming across
• That’s a really nice smile you’ve got, shame that’s not all you are wearing
• Think you can dance in those shoes?
• OK, you can stand next to me as long as you don’t talk about the heat
• Ask girl if she likes jewellery. Then grab your nuts and say, Then suck this, it’s a gem!
• You’re ‘No Parking’ right? Just trying to guess your sign
• Why don’t you surprise your roommate/parents, and not go home tonight?
• Good looking waitress pouring a drink: Say when! Guy: As soon as I finish this drink
• Lie down. I think I love you
• What’s a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
• I can sense that you’re a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little
• If I weren’t so romantic, I’d shoot you
• My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love
• My friend and I have a bet that you won’t take off you blouse in a public place
• Can you believe that just a few hours ago we’d never even been to bed together?
• I know a great way to burn off the calories from that pastry you just ate
• Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
• Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out...] Would you like to?
• Stand back, I’m a doctor! You go get an ambulance and I’ll loosen her clothes
• If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning
• I think I could fall madly in bed with you
• Hey baby, wanna play carnival? That’s where you sit on my face and I guess your age and weight
• You: Tickle your ass with a feather? Her: What?! You: I said ‘Particular nice weather’!
• Hey baby, wanna play train conductor? OK. You sit on my face and I’ll Chew, chew, chew! (choo!)
• Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I’ll throw you my meat
• Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let’s go on a picnic and find out!
• Oh, you’re a bird watcher… [Whip out your unit and ask] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
• Stand back, I’m a police officer! You go call for backup and I’ll frisk her!
• Do you have a library card? Good, because I wanna check you out!
• Your warm eyes melt the iciness of my heart
• Baby, you look better and better each day… And tonight, you look like tomorrow!
• Hey baby, you smell, let’s take a shower together!
• Baby, you with those curves and me with no brakes! Mmmmm!
• Hey baby, whatdya say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!
• I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands
• Can I borrow 50p? [why?] Cuz I wanna call your mum and thank her!
• Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and eat what I want!
• Let’s go back to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway!
• My name is ______. Just remember that, so you’ll know what to scream later
• Nice shoes. Wanna fu*k?
• Can I flirt with you?
• Your daddy must have been a baker, because you sure have a nice set of buns!
• [Checking her shirt tag] Just making sure you were the right size!
• [Grab her butt...] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
• Is it hot in here? Or is it just you?
• Can I have directions? (to where?) To your heart!
• I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
• So… how am I doing?
• [Tapping your leg] You just think this is my leg
• You know what would look good on you? Me!
• Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, “Hi Kate!” She says, “I’m not Kate!” And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, “But you sure feel like her!”
• She: Gee, I really enjoyed myself tonight! He: Me too. Maybe we could let our bodies enjoy each other sometime!
• Pardon me, I was just about to go home and masturbate, and I was wondering if you would mind if I fantasized about you?
• I’ve had a pretty bad day, and it usually makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
• Overheard in a computer lab: Just because our computers are incompatible doesn’t mean we are!
• Hey baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
• Hey, didn’t we go to different schools together?
• You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
• Would you like Gin and plantonic, or would you prefer Scotch and sofa?
• What’s your favourite position on extramarital sex?
• Hello, Susie. Your mum couldn’t make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you up and take you home… My, what a pretty dress
• Excuse me; do you live around here often?
• I’ve gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade!
• I’ve got an itch honey. Lower. Lower. In. Out
• I’m on fire baby; can I run through your sprinkler?
• Sex is a killer. Wanna die happy?
• I have only three months to live…
• Hey baby, what’s your sign? All you can eat?
• Hi! I’m Big Brother, and I’ve been watching you!
• Where have you been all my life?
• in the produce department: “How can you tell if these things are ripe?”
• Hey, weren’t you Miss Virginia last year?
• Don’t worry about it. Nothing that you’ve ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we’re together
• I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
• Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you’re dope
• Hey baby, can I tickle your belly-button from the inside?
• Hey, don’t I know you? Yeah, you’re the girl with the beautiful smile
• Go up to a girl and tell her she has nice legs… Then ask would she mind if you named them. She says ok, and you say ok this one is Easter and that one is Christmas… Would you mind if I visited between the holidays?
• Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
• Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
• As she’s leaving… Hey aren’t you forgetting something? She: What Me!
• Have you run into any trees lately? Then how bout a root!
• Hey baby, you wanna fu*k or should I apologize?
• If you want me, don’t shake me, or wake me, just take me
• Want to see my stamp collection?
• Want to come see my hard drive? I promise it isn’t 3.5 inches, and it ain’t floppy
• Hi, do you want to have my children? (Assuming the answer is ‘no’), OK then, can we just practice?
• Excuse me; you have some lipstick on your tooth, mind if I lick it off?
• Do you know how to use a whip?
• Do you wash your panties with Windex? Cuz I keep seeing myself in them
• Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
• How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
• Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he’s missing an angel!
• You: Hi, wanna fu*k? Her: No! You: Mind lying down while I have one?
• Baby, I’m an American Express lover… You shouldn’t go home without me!
• Hi, my name is “Milk.” I’ll do your body good
• Excuse me, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
• You: I’m sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. You: Well then, please start
• I’ve got the ship, you’ve got the harbour… What say we tie up for the night?
• Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five
• Wanna go halves in a baby?
• You: I hear you like to sing. Her: Yeah… You: [Whip out your unit] Well, then step up to the mike!
• Pardon me, what pick-up line works best with you?
• Playing doctor is for kids… Let’s play Gynaecologist!
• Can I see your tan lines?
• I’m not trying anything; I always put my hands there
• If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you
• Do you have a boyfriend? Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me
• I’ll bet you 10 bucks I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds…
• I was sitting here holding this cigarette and I realized I’d rather be holding you
• If your parents hadn’t met I’d be very a very unhappy man right now!
• Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! Do you wanna do lunch?
• Hey baby, sit on my face and let me get to ‘nose’ you better!
• You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute
• Motion your finger for girl to come over to you, when she gets there say, I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with TWO!
• Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
• I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
• Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
• Stand still so I can pick you up!
• Hi, we’re taking a survey and I need your phone number. If you give it to me, I’ll call you and tell you the results
• I didn’t know that angels could fly so low!
• Excuse me, but I think I dropped something! MY JAW!
• Do you like music? (Yes) Good, I’ve got a great stereo in my car!
• Are you looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now?
• Man: [beckons woman with finger] Woman: [Approaches man] Man: Do you always cum when someone fingers you?
• Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
• Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree
• Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face
• Pardon me, but are those stretch marks around your mouth?
• Do you want to hear a joke that’ll make you laugh your tits off? Oh, you’ve already heard it…
• I like your butt; can I wear it as a hat?
• Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
• I think I can die happy now, cause I’ve just seen a piece of heaven
• Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet
• Do you know your hair and my pillow are perfectly colour coordinated?
• Go up to a girl at a bar or a dance and ask her “do you want a fu*k [wait for a second gauging her reaction] and then say …ing drink
• Go up to a girl, ask her: “Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?” She says no. Then wink
• Wasn’t I supposed to eat you somewhere?
• Excuse me; do fries come with that shake?
• I’d spend money on you I haven’t even made
• I would give you more money than a show dog could jump over
• Baby, you look good coming AND going!
• I’d marry your cat just to get in the family.
• I can’t decide if you are a better person than you are a woman or you are a better woman than you are a person
• Well hello there! How you screwin; glad to eat ya!
• I’m not drunk; I’m just intoxicated by you
• If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib
• He: You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many times have you been married? He: Twice.
• Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, “Now that I’ve broken the ice, will you sleep with me?”
• I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you
• I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south
• You know what I like about you? My arms
• What did you say? Oh, I thought you were talking to me
• So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
• You make my software turn to hardware!
• As long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit
• Was you father an alien? No, why? Because there’s nothing else like you on earth!
• Hey baby, how would you like to join me in some math? We’ll add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!
• Hey baby, let’s play house, you can be the door and I’ll slam you!
• Would you touch me; so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?
• Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart
• You must be a hell of a thief ’cause you stole my heart from across the room
• There are 256 bones in the human body. How’d ya like one more?
• As the sun illuminates the moon and the stars, so let us illuminate each other
• Are you going places or just being taken?
• If god made anything prettier, I hope he kept it for himself
• I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours?
• Hey baby I want to take you to Hawaii. To the island of “Comona, wanna, lay ya!”
• If you have a fake leg (or if you don’t), rub hers and if she says anything say “I’m sorry, I thought that was my leg”
• Baby, if you were a flower, I would pick you!
• Baby, you’re so fine, you’re my 9.9…
• Hey, I just noticed you looking at me across the room. I’ll give a minute to catch your breath!
• What’s the best thing to come out of a penis? The wrinkles!
• You know, I have a romantic side… Let’s go back to my room and see how long it takes you to find out!
• [As they walk past] Why don’t you come back here and fall in love with me!
• Girl, you’ve got more curves than a country road!
• Baby, you’re hotter than Georgia asphalt on a summer day!
• Hey baby, will it bother you if I sleep in the nude?
• Girl, you got more leg than a bucket of chicken!
• She: You’re so sweet… He: Well, it’s easy to be sweet when you’re talking to sugar!
• Hi, my name’s coffee, cuz I’ll keep you up all night!
• Hey baby, you look like you need a one-way ticket on the roly-poly express ride of love!
• I saw your picture in the dictionary today, it was under KABAAM!
• I hope you don’t mind me giving you this rose, but, I just had to show it how you beautiful you are…
• Write a small note, at the end write: “Believe me when I say that my heart cries out to you and if kisses could be sent in writing you would be reading this letter with your lips
• She: I can’t wait to get home and jump into bed! He: Need somebody to break your fall?
• Honey, you’re just like a rifle, one cock and you blow
• Hey baby, I can do things that would make Madonna blush
• Would you like to see some jewels, they’ve been in my family for years?
• Baby, you’re just like a pie, you give everyone a piece
• Would you like coffee, tea, or me?
• I’m just like the Energizer bunny. I keep going and going
• Hey, could you pick that up? She says “pick what up?” My heart, it just fell at your feet
• If the sky was made of paper and the oceans made of ink, I still wouldn’t have enough space to describe how beautiful I think you are
• My name’s Snickers, cuz I’ll really satisfy you
• Excuse me; do you work for Federal Express? I couldn’t help but notice you checking out my package
• Hey baby, you wanna play road? That’s when you lay down and I blacktop you!
• Hey baby, I just got a new waterbed! Wanna make some waves?
• Hey baby, I’m just like Kentucky Fried Chicken, I’ll do you right!
• Excuse me, I’ve lost my tampon string, would you care to help me find it?
• [Walk up to a chick and say] Excuse me… I couldn’t help but noticing you undressing me with your eyes…
• Damn girl, you look so good, I don’t know whether to eat you or say hello!
• Hey girl, you must work at KFC because you’re finger licking good!
• Hey baby, I’m a musician… Wanna come see my organ?
• Hey baby, I’m a musician… Come home with me and see a great pianist!
• Hey baby, why don’t you ride me like the pony you never got for Christmas!
• I feel like Richard Gere! Why? Because I’m standing next to a pretty woman
• Nice Legs… What time do they open?
• Is that a rocket in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
• [To a Mother with her child] I see you like to fu*k!
• [To a woman holding a baby] Want Another One?
• [Wet finger and touch girl's clothing] Let me help you out of those wet clothes!
• Are you a Pokémon, because I want to Pikachu!
• Are you a Virtual Drive? Because I’d love to mount you on my desktop!
• Are you from the Caribbean? Because Jamaican me crazy!
• Are you Irish? Because my penis is Dublin!
• Are you the Hulk’s anger? Because I’m getting huge just thinking about you!
• Are you wearing Jalapeño knickers? Because your ass is really hot
• Are your parents aliens? Because your ass is out of this world!
• Are your parents retarded? Because you’re special!
• Can I buy you a … car?
• Did you call a taxi? Because I’m here to pick you up!
• Did you fart? Because you just blew me away!
• Do you believe in sex before the first date?
• Do you farm chickens? Because you’re raising my cock!
• Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I scraped my knee, when I fell for you!
• Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes!
• Do you know what would look better on you? Me!
• Do you like fruit? Then you can suck my cock: It’s a peach!
• Do you like my belt buckle? It would look better pressed against your forehead!
• Do you want to play Buzzard? Just lay down, play dead, and then I’ll swoop down and eat you!
• Do you want to play Soldier? I lay down and you blow me away!
• Do you want to play Squirrel? I go up your hole and bust a nut!
• Do you want to squeeze my theorem, while I poly your nomial?
• Does your boyfriend know you’re going to be sucking my dick later?
• Drink till you want me!
• Fu*k me if I’m wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
• Hershey’s makes thousands of kisses every day, I’m just asking for one!
• How do you like your eggs, boiled, fried or fertilized?
• I didn’t think you could look prettier; until after ten pints, I saw three of you!
• I heard about the birds and the bees… You must have came straight from the hive, because your 100% honey!
• I hope you won’t take this as any sort of line, but there literally is a party in my pants, and you actually are invited!
• I just moved you to the top of my To-do list!
• I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
• I treat my body like a temple. Would you like to embrace my religion?
• I wish I was a derivative, so I could be tangent to your curves!
• I wish I were an integral, so I could be the area under your curves!
• I’d like to drink your bathwater!
• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together!
• If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?
• If I was an endoplasmic reticulum would you want me to be smooth or rough?
• If I was sin, you would be Pi on 2 because you’re the one!
• If I were a fly, I’d land on you, because you’re the shit!
• If I were an enzyme I’d be DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes!
• If you were a laser, you’d be set on stunning!
• If you were a sliding door I’d slam you all night!
• I’ll eat that pussy right now!
• I’m going outside to make out, care to join me?
• I’m going to call you ‘Trophy Bass’; because I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you!
• I’m going to need a name to match the face that I’ll be jerking off to later on!
• I’m not really this tall - I’m just sitting on my wallet!
• Is that a logarithm in your pocket, or are you just exponentially happy to see me?
• Is your Dad a Greengrocer? Because I love those melons!
• I’ve got the F, the C, and the K. Now all I need is U!
• Let me stick things in you!
• Let’s pretend my pants are France, and invade them!
• Let’s be like Nike, and just do it!
• Let’s have more babies than we can feed!
• Looks like you’re drunk… Do you want to have sexual intercourse with me?
• Nice dress, can I talk you out of it?
• So, are we going to make out, or do I have to lie to my diary again?
• So… You’re a girl, huh?
• That dress is ugly… You should take it off!
• That dress looks great on you… As a matter of fact, so would I!
• There’s nothing like a white girl with a fat ass!
• There’s something wrong with my eyes! I can’t take them off you!
• Today is my birthday; blow my candle!
• Want to play fuel prices? I go down on you and make you feel great; then I come back up and fu*k you!
• What do you say I take you home and eat your pussy?
• What do you say we get out of here so I can give you the best sex you’ll ever have?
• What has 138 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper!
• What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
• Would you like to go to a nondescript hotel and have sex with me?
• Would you mind terribly if I impregnated you?
• You better call the bomb squad, because you’re blowing my mind!
• You can do my laundry!
• You give me the hardest semi I’ve ever had!
• You look like a Ho, but you don’t dress like one!
• You remind me of my School report: All D’s!
• You’re hotter than Oprah!
• Your father doesn’t have a penis, he has a paintbrush!
• You’re the most interesting piece of ass I’ve talked to all evening!
• You’ve made me as hard as a pineapple: It hurts to touch it!