Body language is a very tricky subject, because although the guidebooks might state that a certain action means that a women is sexually interested in a man, or a Salesman’s customers are getting bored – even when they’re wrong, the ‘experts’ will still claim that they’re right.
The get out clause for these supposed ‘experts’ is to claim that the woman was interested, but not interested enough to go on a ‘date’ with the man or that the urgent needs of the customers out-weighted the boring sales pitch. Further, the ‘experts’ might even claim that the situation altered the outcome – perhaps because the woman wasn’t in a Bar or somewhere where she might expect to be propositioned, so she didn’t care to take the man’s offer seriously. Or, maybe the Salesman’s customers were uninteresting people themselves, so the dull sales pitch resonated with them, instead of putting them off.
Basically, every time Body language fails, its practitioners will have a dozen or more excuses as to why any given scenario was an exception. Thus, a more clear-cut test is needed, and it occurs to me that in cases of people lying under pressure, we have just that. Because:
- The subjects are either telling the truth or they’re lying, there is no ambiguity, such as confusing love with like, or even different degrees of liking.
- Since the subject is under pressure, they are very likely to care about being caught out, and thus the excuse of “not taking the situation seriously” can’t be used.
Now, this situation might initially seem impossible, but as it happens, these situations do arise occasionally; such as when Criminals pretend to be the victims of crime, and then make televised appeals for help to solve the case. In those instances, the people are definitely lying, because either they later admit that they lied, or are found to guilty by a Court after the Police found new evidence and charged them. Further, since these appeals are televised to the public, the ‘experts’ will be fully aware that they have a golden opportunity to prove their expertise, especially since they can record the appeal and watch the subject forward, backwards, in slow-motion, or as many times as they care to, before making any final decision.
Then, if the oft quoted 7-38-55 rule is applied, 93% of what these criminals are communicating will be giving them away. Yet, to the best of my knowledge, and even after thoroughly searching the Internet, there seems to be no evidence of Body language ‘experts’ going on record and stating that a Person involved in a TV appeal was or wasn’t being truthful.
So, here are some examples of cases where Body language ‘experts’ had the chance to show sceptics how well their ideas work, but skipped the chance, and instead just continued selling their untested ideas to the public, as articles of faith.
The Crime: In 2008, 9-year-old Shannon Matthews disappeared after a School trip.
The Lies: Karen Matthews reported her daughter Shannon missing to the police, and went on to make a number of emotional public appeals for her Daughters return, begging for anyone holding Shannon to let her go.
The Truth: Shannon was found alive, hidden in the base of a bed, at a house belonging to Michael Donovan (Karen’s Boyfriend’s Uncle) – The family were supposedly planning to claim the £50,000 that Newspapers had put up as a reward for Shannon’s return.
The Verdict: Michael Donovan was charged with Kidnapping and False imprisonment, while Karen Matthews was charged with Child neglect and Perverting the course of justice. They were both jailed for eight years. Julian Goose QC said Karen Matthews “lied and lied and lied again”. Detective Superintendent Andy Brennan branded Karen Matthews “Pure evil”.
The Crime: In 2006, Nisha Patel-Nasri was stabbed with her own 13-inch kitchen knife, and bled to death outside her home.
The Lies: Her husband, Fadi Nasri, made a televised appeal for information in the days after his wife’s death, crying crocodile tears, and begging anyone with information to contact the Police.
The Truth: Fadi Nasri wanted to claim his wife’s £350,000 life insurance policy, in order to pay off his debts and continue an affair he was having. So, he arranged for his wife to be at home while he was away, and hired a Drug dealer to organise the killing.
The Verdict: Fadi Nasri, was eventually arrested, and shortly afterwards found guilty of organising his wife’s murder. He was jailed for life.
The Crime: In 2006, A Dog walker found the decomposed remains of Kirsi Gifford-Hull buried in a shallow grave, in woods.
The Lies: Just a few days earlier, her husband Mike Gifford-Hull, had told his children that he’d had a massive argument with his wife and that she had left with her Passport and a substantial sum of money. He then contacted Police claiming that his wife had left him – and later made a TV appeal pleading for his wife to get in touch because their children had made a banner for her birthday.
The Truth: Mike Gifford-Hull had strangled his wife during a row over the state of their marriage and his having had sex with Prostitutes. He then concealed her body.
The Verdict: Mike Gifford-Hull was found guilty of murder and jailed for 17 years. Superintendent David Kilbride said: “Michael Gifford-Hull told lie after lie to the police, to her family in Finland and their two children. He deliberately and carefully laid a false trail involving the apparent disappearance of clothes, money and her Passport.”
The Crime: On Valentine’s Day, in 2005, Joanna Nelson vanished. Police launched a massive search but Miss Nelson’s body was not found until over a month later.
The Lies: Shortly after her disappearance, her Boyfriend Paul Dyson, appeared on television acting very concerned.
The Truth: Under interrogation by Detectives, Dyson eventually cracked and admitted he was responsible for his Girlfriend’s death, saying that he had strangled her after a row about housework.
The Verdict: Paul Dyson was sentenced to life in prison, and Judge Tom Cracknell, highlighted his appearance on the TV appeal for information, saying “You went on TV and displayed breathtaking and nauseating hypocrisy.”
The Crime: In 2002, two 10-year old girls, Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman disappeared. They were later found dead in a ditch, and their bodies had been burned.
The Lies: Ian Huntley pretended to help search for the girls, and offered words of sympathy one of their Fathers. He was also broadcast telling reporters: “While there’s no news, there’s a glimmer of hope. I think that’s all we’re clinging onto. It’s just very upsetting to think I might be the last friendly face that these two girls had to speak to before something happened to them.”
The Truth: Huntley later admitted that the girls had died in his house, but claimed that he had accidentally knocked Holly into the bath while helping her control a nosebleed, and then accidentally suffocated Jessica when she started to scream. The police suspect that Huntley killed the girls in a fit of jealous rage, and suggest there may also have been a sexual motive.
The Verdict: Ian Huntley was found guilty of Murder and sentenced to life imprisonment, but the High Court ruled that this crime was so serious that Huntley must remain in prison until he has served at least 40 years. His Girlfriend Maxine Carr, who provided a false alibi, was convicted of perverting the course of justice.
The Crime: Sharon Malone vanished in 1999, and was later found bludgeoned to death in nearby Woodland.
The Lies: Her husband, Garry Malone, had participated in a televised police press conference to appeal for her return, pleading “We missed you over Christmas… The boys missed you and asked after Mummy. Please put our minds at rest… Come home”. He later invented a story about his wife having been killed by a gang, because of an unpaid debt.
The Truth: Mr Malone fleeing the country confirmed the suspicions of Detectives, who had since discovered that his marriage was on the rocks, and Malone facing being financially crippled by a divorce.
The Verdict: Garry Malone was convicted of his wife’s murder, after being extradited from Spain, where he had adopted a new identity. Judge Stephen Kramer sentenced Malone to a minimum of 18 years, and said he was “manipulative, calculating and deceitful”.
The Crime: In 1997, 9-year-old Schoolgirl Zoe Evans went missing from her home. Zoe’s naked body was found six weeks later, in a badger sett.
The Lies: Her Mother, Paula Hamilton, and Stepfather Miles Evans appeared at a press conference, begging for her to come home.
The Truth: It transpired that Zoe had been taken her from her bed and sexually assaulted by her Stepfather – A post-mortem examination showed she died from asphyxiation.
The Verdict: Evans was arrested and eventually convicted of Zoe Evans’ murder.
The Crime: One night in 1996, Lee Harvey was stabbed to death on an isolated road.
The Lies: His Fiancée, Tracie Andrews, told Police that he had been attacked by a motorist after a “road rage” incident. The former Model later appeared at a Police press conference looking distraught and begging for help in catching the killer, claiming a “fat man with staring eyes” had attacked her boyfriend, stabbing him more than thirty times.
The Truth: Detectives became sceptical of the story after it emerged that the couple had a stormy and often violent relationship.
The Verdict: Tracie Andrews was charged with murder, and at her trial a jury was told she had stabbed him to death after a row. She was sentenced to life in Prison.
The Crime: In 1994, Susan Smith told police in South Carolina, USA that she had been Carjacked by a black man who had driven off with her two young sons still in the vehicle.
The Lies: Smith appeared on television appealing for the man to return the children.
The Truth: Nine days later, Smith confessed to Police that she had driven the car into a lake, with her children still inside. It then emerged that she had been having an affair with a man, and had killed her two boys because he had said that he didn’t want any children.
The Verdict: She was convicted of murder, and given a life sentence.
The Crime: In 1994, Carol Wardell, the Manager of a Building Society was murdered and about £15,000 was stolen from the branch.
The Lies: Her husband, Gordon, appeared at a press conference and told reporters that he had returned home from the Pub on Sunday afternoon to discover his wife being held captive by a man who was wearing a clown mask and armed with a knife. Wardell alleged he had been punched, forced to the ground and rendered unconscious after a chloroform-soaked cloth was pressed over his face. He went on to tell journalists: “A man got hold of my wife and was threatening her with a knife.” He further claimed he had been tied up by the gang, who took his wife off to the Building Society, early the following morning.
The Verdict: Within a month police realised his story was a pack of lies and he was arrested.
The Result: Wardell was sentenced to life imprisonment, and the Judge told him that he had gone to elaborate lengths, including tying himself up and inflicting injuries, to make it appear as if the couple were the victim of Robbers.
The Crime: In 1991, the Boyfriend of Rachel McLean reported her missing to Police.
The Lies: John Tanner not only appeared in a press conference appealing for help but also took part in a televised reconstruction. He claimed Miss McLean had seen him off at the Railway station, and said a long-haired stranger had offered to give her a lift home. Tanner told reporters his Girlfriend had been “a lover of life” and even asked people to help “out of sheer consideration for her Mother and Father and myself”.
The Truth: A few days later, Police discovered Rachel’s remains under the floorboards of her flat, and Tanner was immediately arrested. His story crumbled, and he was charged with her murder.
The Verdict: At his trial, Tanner changed his story and said that he had ‘snapped’ and killed his Girlfriend after she admitted that she had been unfaithful. He was convicted of murder and jailed for life.
So, here are plenty of cases, where Body language ‘experts’
could have used their supposed ‘expertise’ to save the Police and lot of time, money and effort. They would have also saved the real victims a lot of grief and heartache by pointing out these terrible lies, as well as proving that their system works. Then, they would almost certainly go on to achieve personal fame and fortune.
However, in each of these cases, just like Crystal energy quacks and Snake oil salesmen, they chose to remain silent, instead of rising to the challenge.
Therefore, next time someone makes an appeal for help in solving a crime on TV, perhaps these ‘experts’ would care to demonstrate that there is even a grain of truth behind what seems to me like untested, lunatic ramblings.
Posted by Jonathan as Philosophy, Psychology at 3:21 AM BST
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Money might not buy you love, but according to new research, the pleasure that women get from making love is directly linked to the amount of money their partner earns.
The link between sex and money, and the apparent sexual attraction of fabulously wealthy men, has been debated for years, with radical feminists arguing that beautiful women involved rich men were just doing it for the lifestyle – and enduring the sex as a by-product. Whilst the female orgasm has also been the focus of much research because it appears to have no reproductive purpose, and women can become pregnant whatever the level of pleasure they experience during sex.
Now, however, it seems that through an Evolutionary biological explanation, there is mounting evidence that for many women, money has aphrodisiac qualities, as well as purchasing power. Thus, Dr Thomas Pollet and Professor Daniel Nettle, of Newcastle University, used one of the world’s largest studies into lifestyles, to examine the link between wealth and enjoyment of sex – and to determine whether the female orgasm is an evolutionary adaptation that drives women to choose and retain high-quality partners.
The study they used, the Chinese Health and Family Life Survey targeted 5,000 people across China to conduct in-depth interviews about their personal lives, including detailed questions about their sex lives, income, education and other personal details – although only 1,534 respondents had complete answers in each section of the questionnaire. So, only those fully complete responses formed the basis of the study.
The researchers found that 121 of the women reported always orgasming during sex, whilst 408 had orgasms ‘often’. Another 762 ‘sometimes’, and 243 orgasmed rarely or never. These figures being broadly similar to those found in western countries.
The study found that various factors influenced the women’s enjoyment of sex. However, the link between enjoyment of sex and partner’s wealth was statistically significant even when they took into account other factors such as age, education, happiness, the length of relationship and health.
Dr Pollet said:
We found that increasing partner income had a highly positive effect on women’s self-reported frequency of orgasm. More desirable mates cause women to experience more orgasms.
While we cannot rule out reporting bias, we note that the interviews took place away from the respondent’s home, without their partner present and with the respondents able to input their responses directly into the computer if they so wished.
This is not an effect limited to Chinese women. Since, previous research in Germany and America has already examined attributes such as body symmetry and attractiveness, finding that these are also linked with orgasm frequency. Money, however, seems to be the main factor.
The Scientists do note that the findings might also be explained by any of three types of bias in the study:
- Women who have frequent orgasms may tend to overestimate their partner’s income.
- Women with ‘high powered’ partners could exaggerate how much they enjoy sex.
- Women who are highly susceptible to orgasms select partners who are wealthy.
This third suggestion could also be interpreted as more desirable mates cause women to experience more orgasms, so if this is true, a woman’s “capacity for orgasm” could have evolved to help her discriminate between males on the basis of their quality.
Thus, the researchers conclude that a wealthy mate equals a more desirable mate and women demonstrate this by being more responsive in bed.
The original paper, which can be seen here, was published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior.
Posted by Jonathan as Psychology, Sociobiology at 10:07 PM BST
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Scientists have long known that animals use scent to communicate. And now, a new study by Psychologists finds that women’s brains recognize and encode the smell of male sexual sweat
The new study, out of Rice University, and published in the Journal of Neuroscience found that socioemotional meanings, including sexual ones, are conveyed in human sweat.
Denise Chen, Assistant Professor of Psychology at Rice, looked at how the brains of female volunteers processed and encoded the smell of sexual sweat from men. So, this study represents an effort to expand knowledge about how human’s sense of smell complements their more powerful senses of sight and hearing.
Chen and her colleagues asked 20 heterosexual males to stop wearing deodorant and other scented products for a few days. Then, they asked the men to put small pads under their armpits whilst they watched pornographic videos and became sexually aroused. They also gathered samples of sweat that was produced when they weren’t aroused.
In the main body of the experiment, the researchers directly studied responses to the human sexual sweat under functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI). Using nineteen healthy female volunteers, who inhaled olfactory stimuli from four different sources, one of which was the sweat gathered from sexually aroused males.
The results of the experiment indicated that the brain recognizes chemosensory communication, including human sexual sweat. And also, that several parts of the brain are involved in processing the emotional value of the olfactory information. These include the right Fusiform region, the right Orbitofrontal cortex and the right Hypothalamus.
Professor Chen Said:
With the exception of the Hypothalamus, neither the Orbitofrontal cortex nor the Fusiform region is considered to be associated with sexual motivation and behavior. Our results imply that the chemosensory information from natural human sexual sweat is encoded more holistically in the brain rather than specifically for its sexual quality.
Humans are evolved to respond to salient socioemotional information, and distinctive neural mechanisms underlie the processing of emotions in facial and vocal expressions. So, the findings help explain the neural mechanism for human social chemosignals.
The understanding of human smell at the neural level is still at an early stage. Thus, the present work is the first fMRI study of human social chemosignals.
Posted by Jonathan as Biochemistry, Psychology at 5:55 PM BST
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It’s well known that members of the opposite sex appear to become more attractive the more you drink. But, according to a new study, women who drink even moderately experience a reduced ability to rate attractiveness in male faces, even after they are sober.
The research, carried out by Dr Kirsten Oinonen of Lakehead University, in Canada, put 45 young women classed as typical, non-alcoholic drinkers (who consumed less than 40 drinks per month) through a battery of tests, including an exercise on facial symmetry. In this test, the women were presented with 60 pairs of male faces. One in each pair was more symmetrical than the other, and the women had to identify it in each of the pairs.
The results showed that the more a woman had drunk during the previous six months, the less well she was able to judge facial symmetry. And, even women who had drunk the equivalent of just five drinks a month scored less in the test than those who had consumed no drinks – with each additional drink leading to a reduced score on the symmetry test.
Both sexes find facial symmetry attractive, since the more symmetric the features, the more likely the person is to be free from genetic defects, and therefore they are more likely to be a worthy mate. Facial symmetry is thus considered one of the key markers of attractiveness, and plays an important role in mate selection.
Dr Oinonen said:
My study suggests that sober women who drink alcohol are less able to perceive facial symmetry when sober.
When sober, these women are worse at judging facial symmetry, and therefore may find less attractive men more attractive. Given that symmetry is associated with attractiveness of faces, my study does suggest the possibility that alcohol intoxication may decrease facial symmetry perception, and make people look more attractive.
This is the first study to look at this issue. It suggests that as typical alcohol consumption increases in young women, facial symmetry perception performance decreases.
The researchers say the results suggest alcohol has a long term effect on the brain. They believe it could effect the brain’s structure in some way, reducing its visual perception abilities. But, it is not known how long term the effects are or whether they are permanent.
Dr Oinonen added:
Whether or not any damage or deficits are permanent is hard to tell at this point.
Posted by Jonathan as Psychology, Sociology at 10:53 AM BST
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Sneezing usually occurs in response to nasal irritation, which triggers a reflex that expels air at speeds of about 150 Km/h. But new research has linked sexual thoughts in some people to sneezing, and it seems that the phenomenon may be more common than the medical profession previously realised.
The researchers who investigated the condition suggest that it might be caused by a faulty connection in the autonomic nervous system of susceptible people, which sends a signal to their nose causing them to sneeze when aroused.
Like other common triggers for sneezing, such as eyebrow plucking and sunlight, the condition could even run in families. And, although rare, the condition is thought likely be significantly underreported since sufferers might be embarrassed about discussing the issue with their Doctor.
Dr Mahmood Bhutta, a specialist in ear, nose and throat conditions at John Radcliffe Hospital, Oxford, said:
It certainly seems odd, but I think this reflex demonstrates evolutionary relics in the wiring of a part of the nervous system called the autonomic nervous system.
This is the part beyond our control, and which controls things like our heart rate and the amount of light let in by our pupils.
Sometimes the signals in this system get crossed, and I think this may be why some people sneeze when they think about sex.
Dr Harold Maxwell, a consultant Psychiatrist at West Middlesex University Hospital in London, was first alerted to the condition when a middle-aged male patient described “uncontrollable” fits of sneezing whenever he thought about sex.
Later, when Maxwell and his colleague Dr Bhutta set out to investigate how unusual the problem was, they could only find one similar case in the medical literature, a report from 1972, of a 69-year-old man who suffered severe sneezing after orgasm.
To get some indication of how common the problem was, the researchers scoured the internet for examples of conversations about sneezing and sex. This search identified 17 men and women who reported sneezing immediately after having sexual thoughts, and three people who sneezed after orgasm.
Dr Bhutta and Dr Maxwell wrote in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine:
Although internet reports do not give us an accurate incidence of these phenomena, our findings do suggest that it is much more common than recognised
Further investigation in this field may help us to understand the sneeze reflex in more depth, and also allow us to give explanation and reassurance to the possibly significant number of people affected by this curious phenomenon.
Posted by Jonathan as Psychology at 2:25 AM BST
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When you first arrange to meet a girl you’ve picked up, you might decide to go to the cinema and watch a movie together. However, according to new research, you could be wise to avoid going to see a romantic comedy.
Rom-coms have been blamed by relationship experts at Heriot Watt University in Edinburgh for promoting unrealistic expectations when it comes to love, since they often promote a warped sense of the “perfect” relationship within society.
Researchers noted the films contain improbable plots, unlikely happy endings and false philosophies. They also oversimplified the process of falling in love and wrongly gave the impression that love could and should be achieved without any effort.
Psychologist Dr Bjarne Holmes and his team spent a year analysing 40 top box office rom-coms released between 1995 and 2005, including “You’ve Got Mail“, “The Wedding Planner“, “Maid in Manhattan” and “While You Were Sleeping“; from which they identified common themes that they believed were unrealistic, such as the idea of “the one” soul mate who we are all pre-destined to meet and that they should instinctively know us so well they can “almost read our minds”.
Using this information, they surveyed hundreds of people with a questionnaire which asked respondents to describe their beliefs and expectations when it came to relationships.
The researchers found that those respondents who watched romantic comedies often failed to communicate effectively with their partners, and frequently held the view that if someone is meant to be with you, they should know what you want without you needing to tell them. They were also more likely to believe that perfect relationships happen instantly, and were less likely to believe that couples needed to work at relationships.
Dr Holmes, who led the research, said:
Marriage counsellors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it.
We now have some emerging evidence that suggests popular media play a role in perpetuating these ideas in people’s minds.
The problem is that while most of us know that the idea of a perfect relationship is unrealistic, some of us are still more influenced by media portrayals than we realise.
In a follow-up experiment, the researchers discovered that watching just one romantic comedy is enough to sway people’s attitudes towards romantic love – The Psychologists had 100 student volunteers watch the 2001 romantic comedy “Serendipity” (starring Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack) whilst a further 100 watched a David Lynch drama – Following the viewings, students who watched “Serendipity” were found to be more likely to believe in fate and destiny.
Dr Holmes emphasized:
We are not being killjoys – we are not saying that people shouldn’t watch these movies. But we are saying that it would be helpful if people were more aware and more critical of the messages in these films.
We all want to be successful in our relationships. We want to be the special one and meet the special one. Unfortunately people tend to believe the Hollywood idea of a perfect relationship.
That is just unrealistic. People feel if their relationship is not like a Hollywood film then it is not any good.
Investing time and energy [into a relationship] are not themes that are popular in Hollywood films.
In order to find out more, the researchers have launched a much larger, international study about the effects of the media on relationships.
They are asking people to participate by answering questions about personality, relationships, and media consumption habits by filling out a questionnaire which can be found here.
Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Psychology at 11:59 PM BST
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A large body of research has shown that women are more responsive to masculine voices, faces, and odours at times when they’re most likely to become pregnant, but according to Professor Nicolas Guéguen, a psychologist at the University of South Brittany in France, no studies have probed the obvious outcome of such inclinations.
So, Professor Guéguen and his team recruited several young men to experimentally hit on women at a street corner, in order to determine whether fertility affects receptivity to male advances or not. And, it seems that women are most likely to give their phone number to a male stranger during the fertile phase of their menstrual cycle.
Professor Guéguen said:
[previous] studies did not focus on women’s behaviour. [This is] the first study to test the role of the menstrual cycle on courtship request, in a real social context and not in laboratory.
In conducting their study, which was published in the journal Biological Psychology, the scientists recruited five handsome 20-year-old men (selected from a larger group and judged for attractiveness by 28 women), in order to experimentally express interest in women passing a street corner, by asking the unsuspecting females for a date.
On nice summer days, the young men approached the first young woman they saw passing the street corner and delivered a standardized pick-up line:
Hello. My name’s Antoine. I just wanted to say that I think you’re really pretty. I have to go to work this afternoon, and I was wondering if you would give me your phone number. I’ll phone you later and we can have a drink together someplace.
If the woman gave her number, “Antoine” responded: “See you soon,” and left. If she refused, a similarly cheery response of: “Too bad. It’s not my day. Have a nice afternoon!” was given.
Almost immediately after the encounter, and regardless of how the subject responded, a female researcher approached the woman and informed her of the experimental nature of the encounter, asking the woman to complete a short questionnaire. The survey asked questions about age, contraception use and days since her last period (or pregnancy status). Although none of the questions gauged her likely disappointment at the deception.
Of 506 women that were approached, just 51 declined to take part in the survey. And, from analysing the responses of the 455 active participants, Guéguen noted that in total, 8.6% of the women provided their phone number to the men. However, women not taking oral contraception were more than twice as likely to accept the men’s offer as women taking the pill (12% versus 5.8%). Although this could just reflect the likelihood that women on the pill may be more likely to already have a man in their life than women not taking birth control.
However, when Guéguen analyzed the data according to the women’s fertility, a more interesting trend emerged – Amongst naturally cycling women, those in their fertile phase accepted 21.7% of advances, whilst women in the midst of their periods responded to just 7.8% of men, a significant statistical difference that did not exist for women on the pill.
Professor Guéguen cautiously suggests his interpretations may offer real-world behavioural support for research showing that women are most receptive to advances when they are likely to get pregnant.
Hormones could play a role in the study’s results, since estradiol (a form of oestrogen) and progesterone levels rise and fall during a woman’s cycle, and most birth control pills contain progesterone. But Guéguen cautions that a woman’s relationship status could mask such associations, because single women could be less likely to be on birth control.
To firm up the results, Guéguen is also repeating the study in scenarios where men may be more likely to get a woman’s cellphone number, describing a follow up study where:
Twenty-year-old women were approached by 20-year-old males in nightclubs and solicited to dance with them during the period when slow songs were played
And noting:
Until this study comes out, guys may want to focus their attention on less personal cues to a women’s interest.
Posted by Jonathan as Biology, Psychology at 11:34 PM BST
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Jealousy is a powerful emotion that few of us are resistant to. Men especially fall prey to this emotion, and it seldom benefits them. Some of us realize that our boyfriend’s jealous minds can sometimes lead to benefits we didn’t expect. Trying to recreate these benefits with the same man or even a different one may seem like a good idea. Who wouldn’t want the extra attention, or to invite our man to recognize how much he appreciates us?
But here’s the rub… The simple desire to bring him closer by playing on his insecurities can easily backfire. His fragile ego makes him more sensitive than he appears. Making him too jealous is the last thing you want – inevitably it leaves us worse off, leaving us further away from him, and may start a cycle of distrust.
So the question is, can jealousy be used in a positive way? Yes it can! It can help him realize how much he appreciates both you and his relationship with you. What you want to do is just start him thinking about you not being around as much, and even start him thinking that, without his appreciation, you may start looking for someone who will show you the appreciation you deserve.
Here’s how: The trick is subtlety! And of course this means that you start his mind moving based on thoughts, not actions!
For example: You and he always go out on Friday nights – you bicker over what to do, or end up seeing whatever the local cinema is playing. What does this mean to him?
She’ll be there, waiting for me to pick her up, I hope there’s a good action movie playing, or maybe she won’t want to go, and then I can hang out with the guys.
So this time when he calls on Friday you simply don’t pick up the phone, or when he calls you explain that you’d rather not go tonight there’s a book that you just can’t put down – and when he calls later that night (he will) you definitely don’t pick up the phone.
Of course when he catches up with you in a day or two and wonders where you’ve been over the weekend you were “just taking care of errands, hanging out with your girlfriends etc.” Meanwhile he was thinking all sorts of things we can’t even imagine.
Don’t bother to try and fuel his imagination by being coy or misleading. His imagination is already hard at work. Put his fears to rest or this is where the distrust starts. And of course never insinuate that it was all to give him a moment to be jealous. Let him suffer a little and act like you never even noticed, otherwise he will feel you are trying to play games with him and that you got the best of him.
Some other examples include:
- Stop checking your messages in front of him
- Not mentioning every single place you went that day or that week – Wait until he asks
- Getting someone to make eye contact with you, and respond to you, without letting your man seeing you initiate this contact… He’ll just see someone staring at you
- Have a friend mention that someone (male of course) was asking about you
Posted by Rosie as Philosophy, Psychology at 11:41 PM BST
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In an international index measuring one-night stands, total numbers of partners and attitudes towards sex, Britain comes out ahead of America, Australia, France, Germany, Italy and the Netherlands; making the British the most promiscuous of any large western industrial nation.
The study was conducted by asking more than 14,000 people in 48 countries to fill in an anonymous questionnaire about their attitudes towards casual sex and how many people they expected to sleep with over the next five years. The results were then turned into an index of ‘sociosexuality‘, which measured how sexually liberal people are in thought and behaviour.
Most individuals scored between 4 and 65. Finland ranked highest with an average of 51 and Taiwan came lowest with 19. Britain’s average score of 40 placed it 11th overall – behind countries such as Latvia, Croatia and Slovenia, but highest amongst major western industrial nations.
The researchers behind the study suggest that high scores might be correlated to the way society is increasingly willing to accept sexual promiscuity among women as well as men. Cultural developments have also meant women are now as able to engage in no-strings sex as much as men.
David Schmitt, a Professor of Psychology at Bradley University, Illinois, who oversaw the research, said:
Historically we have repressed women’s short-term mating and there are all sorts of double standards out there where men’s short-term mating was sort of acceptable but women’s wasn’t
Britain’s high score was attributed to factors such as the decline of religious scruples about extramarital sex, the growth of equal pay and equal rights for women and a highly sexualised popular culture.
Professor Schmitt pointed out that the ratio of men to women is one of the factors that determines a country’s ranking, noting that high scores in many Baltic and eastern European states could be linked to the fact that women outnumber men, and thus are under more pressure to conform to what men want in order to find a mate. By contrast, in Asian countries, men tend to slightly outnumber women, so it is the men who have to conform to what women want.
The findings are backed up by earlier research showing that the British are more likely than other nationalities to have “stolen” another person’s partner, and apparently a third of British men are in relationships with women that they have poached from other long-term relationships. Amongst British women, 28% had poached their boyfriend from another relationship, rather than forming a relationship with a single man.
This compares with America, where just 17% of men had “stolen” another person’s girlfriend. In France only 10% of both men and women were poachers, whilst in Germany the figures were 17% for men and 14% for women.
Interestingly, in more liberal countries such as Britain, women might even be becoming more promiscuous than men, since one of the latest theories emerging from Evolutionary Psychologists such as Professor Schmitt, is the idea that when women are at their most fertile, they become even more willing than men to consider one-night stands.
However, there are still key differences in the behaviours of men and women, especially regarding the ages at which they are most sexually liberated. Schmitt found that men tended to have the most sexual partners, and to try hardest to acquire new ones whilst in their twenties. On the other hand, Women’s promiscuity and lustful thoughts tended to peak whilst in their thirties.
Posted by Jonathan as Psychology, Sociobiology at 3:26 PM BST
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Women’s lack of interest in sex is so common that it should be considered the norm, according to experts, who have conducted some new research.
Psychologist, Professor Marita McCabe, of Deakin University in Melbourne, Australia, studied 400 women, and found that the normal way in which they experienced desire was once they were already engaged in sexual activity.
Sixty 60 percent of the women described their libido as unusually low, with most reportedly only getting in the mood for sex, after the intimacy had begun. Further, many women did not realise that it was normal for their sex drive to have highs and lows.
Professor McCabe said:
In movies, on TV, in magazines what you see is sexual women, women wanting sex, engaging in sex and that seems the norm.
Women who have low levels of desire think there is something wrong with them.
But if you’re working hard, if you’ve got kids, if you haven’t got much family support, it’s not surprising you’re not interested in sex at that time.
That is a perfectly normal response. We need to redesign what is abnormal
She went on to explain that fatigue, stress, work and children were major passion-killers:
Those factors really reduced women’s interest in spontaneous sex, as well as the extent to which they experienced desire in the actual sexual situation.
Continuing that another major turn-off was a lack of communication and consideration from a partner:
If a man wants sexual interaction then there’s a whole lot of things he can do that have nothing to do with sex. Washing dishes can be foreplay.
Professor McCabe and researcher Denisa Goldhammer will be further exploring women’s experiences of sexual desire in an online survey of over-18s in heterosexual relationships.
Posted by Jonathan as Psychology, Sociology at 6:48 PM BST
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