Browsing through The Annals of Improbable Research, I see that Dutch academic Wolter Seuntjens has successfully defended a Ph.D. thesis entitled “The Hidden Sexuality of the Human Yawn”.

Since the proximate Cause(s) of why we yawn have eluded scientists, and baffled many people for quite some time, it’s interesting to see that some research has been conducted in this area, and rather intriguing to find that there may be a sexual element to some types of yawns.

Dr Seuntjens, of Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam, tries to provide a systematic-encyclopaedic overview of all the available knowledge about yawning; drawing on linguistics (semantics, etymology), sociology, psychology, the medical sciences (anatomy, physiology, pathology, and pharmacology), and even the arts (literature, film, visual arts). He then associates much of the data, and examines the hypothesis that yawning has a sexual aspect.

He believes there is currently no good explanation that explains yawning, and points out that the popular hypoxia (the body taking in extra oxygen) and hypercapnia (the body getting rid of extra carbon dioxide) theories were conclusively refuted by Robert Provine and collaborators back in 1987. But further, the newer popular theory that yawning leads to wakefulness (‘arousal defense reflex,’ Askenasy 1989) has a number of problems (Regehr, Ogilvie, and Simons 1992).

Dr Seuntjens makes the preliminary conclusion:

[W]e have really no idea what causes yawning and what purpose yawning serves or what mechanisms are responsible for yawning and even what the essential anatomical constituents of yawning are. In the age in which the human genome has been deciphered and space travel has become almost trite this verdict may sound like an affront

There was however at least one recurrent theme: eroticism-sexuality.

Both the ‘yawn’ and the ‘stretch’ of the stretch-yawn syndrome have been linked to ‘desire’ and ‘longing for’, by previous researchers. And ‘being in love’ by numerous proverbs and sayings. Psychoanalysts and Depth-psychologists that mention yawns interpreted them as latent sexual signals, while other authors have described the feeling that accompanies the acme of yawning as a ‘mini orgasm’.

Dr Seuntjens states:

In discussing pathology I discovered that yawning and spontaneous ejaculation were mentioned concomitantly in terminal rabies.

And continues:

In discussing pharmacology I found a link between yawning and spontaneous orgasm in withdrawal from heroin addiction. Likewise, yawning and sexual response were associated as clinical side effects of several antidepressant drugs. In one publication an undeniable causal relation was reported: both spontaneous and intentional yawning provoked instantaneous ejaculation orgasm.

He concludes:

There are times when a yawn is simply a yawn. (Even if a ‘simple’ yawn is not simple at all.)

In everyday life each and every individual yawn must be interpreted, as it cannot be ascribed to one specific cause, or be explained with total certainty.

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Dr Seuntjens website baillement.com is a cornucopia of information on yawning, should you decide to study Pandiculation further.

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Update:

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It seems that the latest research into yawning suggests that it may be a brain cooling mechanism, cooling mechanism that promotes increased alertness.

Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Psychology, Sociology at 8:58 PM BST

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Today’s Grauniad has some excerpts from one of the oldest seduction guides around, Ovid’s didactic poem Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love), which was originally published, sometime between 2BC and AD2.

The article points out a number of Roman achievements: straight roads, under-floor heating, excellent sewage systems; but more importantly, they invented romantic love. And, Ovid has left us a detailed, scandalous, hilarious, cynical, explicit yet still user-friendly handbook on how to find it.

So, here’s Ovid’s (really quite simple) three step guide to meeting your ideal partner:

Part I : Get ready – get a makeover

et nihil emineant et sint sine sordibus ungues, inque caua nullus stet tibi nare pilus. nec male odorati sit tristis anhelitus oris, nec laedat nares uirque paterque gregis. cetera lasciuae faciant concede puellae et si quis male uir quaerit habere uirum.

Keep your nails pared, and dirt-free; Don’t let those long hairs sprout In your nostrils, make sure your breath is never offensive, Avoid the rank male stench That wrinkles noses. Beyond this is for wanton women Or any half-man who wants to attract men.

For women, he advises no body hair:

Quam paene admonui, ne trux caper iret in alas neque forent duris aspera crura pilis

I was going to advise you about grim, goaty armpits, and rough, bristling hair on your legs.

And then, concerning makeup:

non tamen expositas mensa deprendat amator pyxidas: ars faciem dissimulata iuuat.

But don’t let your lover find all those jars and bottles On your dressing table: the best Makeup remains unobtrusive.

He continues, on the topic of hairdos:

munditiis capimur: non sint sine lege capilli; admotae formam dantque negantque manus. nec genus ornatus unum est: quod quamque decebit, eligat et speculum consulat ante suum. longa probat facies capitis discrimina puri: sic erat ornatis Laodamia comis. exiguum summa nodum sibi fronte relinqui, ut pateant aures, ora rotunda uolunt. alterius crines umero iactentur utroque: talis es adsumpta, Phoebe canore, lyra; altera succinctae religetur more Dianae, ut solet, attonitas cum petit illa feras.

What attracts us is elegance – so don’t neglect your hairstyle; Looks can be made or marred by a skilful touch. Nor will one style suit all: there are innumerable fashions, And each girl should look in her glass Before choosing what suits her reflection. Long features go best with A plain central parting: that’s how Laodamia’s hair was arranged. A round-faced lady Should pile all her hair on top, Leaving the ears exposed. One girl should wear it down on Her shoulders, like Apollo about to play The lyre; another should braid it in the style of the huntress Diana, when she’s after some frightened beast, Skirt hitched up.

For the final part of the makeover, Ovid suggests learning some Latin poetry, which luckily, you’re doing right now.

Part II : Get out into town

You wont meet someone special sitting at home, so create opportunities to meet people. Be bold, suggests Ovid: talk to the pretty girls that hang out at the temple of Palatine Apollo or in Pompey’s portico.

sera ueni positaque decens incede lucerna: grata mora uenies, maxima lena mora est; etsi turpis eris, formosa uidebere potis, et latebras uitiis nox dabit ipsa tuis.

Arrive late, when the lamps are lit; make a graceful entrance - Delay enhances charm, delay’s a great bawd. Plain you may be, but at night you’ll look fine

Men should take into account flattering lighting, when you’re meeting girls:

hic tu fallaci nimium ne crede lucernae: iudicio formae noxque merumque nocent. luce deas caeloque Paris spectauit aperto, cum dixit Veneri “uincis utramque, Venus.” nocte latent mendae uitioque ignoscitur omni, horaque formosam quamlibet illa facit.

Don’t trust the lamplight too much, It’s deceptive. When Paris examined those goddesses, when he said, “You Beat them both, Venus,” he did it in broad Daylight. But darkness hides faults, each blemish is forgiven: Any woman you name will pass As a beauty at night.

How do you approach someone you fancy? Easy, says old Ovid, here’s an example:
You’re sitting next to a pretty girl at the races…

hic tibi quaeratur socii sermonis origo, et moueant primos publica uerba sonos: cuius equi ueniant facito studiose requiras, nec mora, quisquis erit cui fauet illa, faue. at cum pompa frequens caelestibus ibit eburnis, tu Veneri dominae plaude fauente manu; utque fit, in gremium puluis si forte puellae deciderit, digitis excutiendus erit; etsi nullus erit puluis, tamen excute nullum.

Some excuse to engage in friendly conversation, Casual small talk at first - Ask, with a show of interest, whose are those horses Just coming past: find out Her favourite, back it yourself. When the long procession of ivory Deities approaches, be sure you give A big hand to Lady Venus. If some dust should settle In your girl’s lap, flick it away with your fingers; and if there’s no dust, still flick away – nothing.

Part III : Keep going

So, you’ve met a potential lover, but how do you actually seduce them?
Ovid states that victory is all about self-belief. Imagine yourself to be invincible, and chances are you will be.

prima tuae menti ueniat fiducia, cunctas posse capi: capies, tu modo tende plagas. uere prius uolucres taceant, aestate cicadae, Maenalius lepori det sua terga canis, femina quam iuueni blande temptata epugnet; haec quoque, quam poteris credere nolle, uolet.

The first thing to get in your head is that every single Girl can be caught – and that you’ll catch her if You set your toils right. Birds will sooner fall dumb in spring time, Cicadas in summer, or a hunting-dog Turn his back on a hare, than a lover’s bland inducements Can fail with a woman.

Keep in touch with your new love interest:

Sit tibi credibilis sermo consuetaque uerba, blanda tamen, praesens ut uideare loqui.

use everyday language, familiar yet flattering words, as though you were there, in her presence.

And:

Postque breuem rescribe moram: mora semper amantes incitat

Write back after a little delay: delay always fires up lovers

If you followed all the poet’s steps closely, you should have pulled. If not, keep trying. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

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Jonathan adds:

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I’ve found a complete English translation of Ovid’s poem, that you may wish to view here.

Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, History at 11:47 PM BST

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Whilst this film is probably most useful as entertainment, rather than some type of pickup guide, Roger Dodger does contain some excellent dialogue.

The first scene in particular amply demonstrates a man that is confident, charismatic and able to subtly move conversation in any direction he wants; but a man who is also exceptionally devious and unable to form intimate relationships with anyone.

Several times we’ve seen people hoodwinked by over-hyped and poorly tested theories; most notably Baker and Bellis’ Kamikaze Sperm Hypothesis, or just plain pseudo-scientific fabrication, such as virtually any theory which starts “50,000 years ago…” that you may perchance have read on other seduction related websites.

Instead of taking these theories literally, simply because they might sound like they could be true; try considering what is the outcome that the communicator is trying to induce amongst the members of his audience?

With this in mind, have another look at the first scene from Roger Dodger:

Roger Dodger – Opening scene: Five Co-workers in a Restaurant

Roger: What’s happening right now, is important only in the context of our continuing evolution as a species.
Donovan: Roger, Roger, all I’m saying is that I wish my sister would learn to read a subway map.
Roger: And, by saying that, you disregard the primary importance of utility … in human relationships.
Roger: Our ability; Man’s, Men’s ability to read maps, to navigate, makes us useful. You should discourage your sister from even looking at a map.
Joyce: Are you saying: that we women have an inferior sense of direction?
Roger: Which way is North, Joyce, without looking around?
Joyce: What?
Roger: You heard me. Point North quick. North North. Quick! North, North… Nooorrth (Point’s north).
Donovan: You’re right.
Joyce: Is he right?
Donovan: He’s right.
Elaine: [Clapping] Very impressive.
Roger: As she has throughout history; the female responds to the male who displays the most utility. By honing those skills which make me useful, I stave off my inevitable obsolescence.
Donovan: So, what? You stay home honing your ability to program a VCR?
Christopher: My VCR’s been flashing twelve o’clock for three years.
Elaine: What else, Roger?
Joyce: Oh, driving a standard shift. Lifting heavy things.
Elaine: Air guitar.
Group: [Laughter]
Roger: Yes, yes. Go ahead and chuckle, okay? But until women evolve the ability to move objects telepathically – And they will – Physical strength remains a primary utility.
Donovan: Here’s to brute strength then! (Offers a toast).
Group: [Laughter]
Joyce: You know Roger, you’re forgetting a very important male utility.
Roger: What’s that? Barbecuing?
Joyce: (Shakes head) … Sex.
Elaine: Yeah. I want a guy to do more than just program my VCR.
Donovan: Oh, Elaine, I’ll program your VCR, Baby, like you never had it.
Elaine: It’s a top-loader. You think you can handle that?
Roger: Interestingly, a group of scientists in England, just announced their intention to fertilize an egg without the use of sperm cells.
Joyce: No…? I don’t understand that.
Roger: Every cell in the human body contains a copy of the genome pattern. The only reason sperm cells have all the fun is that up until now… they were the only ones with access. Within Christopher’s lifetime, artificial insemination will render sperm as useless as an assembly line worker in Detroit.
Donovan: Luckily, my accountant set up a golden parachute for my sperm years ago… In case they were downsized.
Group: [Laughter]
Joyce: Just so you know, Roger, you know that we women… make love because we like it… Not just to procreate.
Elaine: Yeah.
Roger: But are men absolutely necessary?
Joyce: I don’t know about that.
Roger: Think of the structure of the female genitalia.
Donovan: Wait, wait… Okay, got it.
Group: [Laughter]
Roger: What is the most sensitive part of the vagina?
Elaine: I can’t believe we’ve gotten into this.
Joyce: I think you know this, Donovan.
Roger: It’s the clitoris, first discovered by Renaldus Columbus in 1559.
Donovan: First he thought it was India.
Group: [Laughter] Oh, no! No!
Roger: The crown of the clitoris contains 8,000 nerve fibres. It’s a far greater concentration than in any part of the male body… even our fingertips. It is the most efficient pleasure-delivery system ever devised by nature.
Roger: Now, ask yourself… Why didn’t the clitoris end up inside the vagina? So that intercourse would be naturally… compellingly… constantly pleasurable for a woman?
Joyce: (Raises hand) I know the answer.
Roger: Yes, Ms. Maynard.
Joyce: Because: in primitive time, women died of childbirth. So for intercourse to be too pleasurable – wouldn’t make sense from a Darwinian standpoint.
Donovan: I’m impressed.
Roger: Absolutely right… So, What does that tell us?
Elaine: That Evolution is looking out for us girls?
Joyce: Exactly.
Roger: That for women… intercourse and sexual fulfilment were never intended to intersect. New technology just makes it official.
Roger: Future generations of women will evolve clitorises – clitori, clitorati -
Joyce: Clitorissimo.
Group: [Laughter]
Roger: That are larger, longer, even more sensitive. And a woman’s ability, as well as her desire to self-stimulate will increase exponentially; as intercourse is robbed of its procreative utility.
Christopher: I’m confused; and frightened.
Roger: You should be… The species is not static, okay… We’re in a constant state of flux.
Roger: Two genders has been the default setting for one reason only: So far, it’s been the only way to propagate the race.
Elaine: Is there any species that just has one gender… that doesn’t have male or female?
Roger: Starfish, for one.
Donovan: Next time I see a starfish, I’m gonna tell him to go fuck himself.
Group: [Silence]
Donovan: Come on. You love it.
Elaine: No, we don’t.
Roger: So where are we headed… Equality? Equality; what is that?
Roger: Is that a principle of nature? We all sit around reading Subway maps together…
Roger: No, of course not. Natural selection. Now that is a principle of nature. Selection. Something has to lose, something has to be defeated, in order for something else to be selected. So, what does this mean?
Donovan: Means we all have to take orders from Joyce for the rest of lives.
Joyce: That’s right. I like that.
Roger: It means that ten or fifteen generations from now… men will be reduced to servitude. Technology and evolution will have combined, to exclude sperm from procreation. And our final destiny will be to lift couches, and wait for that day when telepathy overcomes gravity, and our gender’s last remaining utility is lost forever.
Joyce: Forever… [Laughter]
Elaine: Oh, my God, Roger.
Roger: [Looks to Donovan]
Donovan: What? I’m done.
Roger: Then I rest my case.
Group: [Applause]
Roger: Thank you.
Roger: Love you people.

Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Psychology at 12:32 AM BST

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One of the big repeating news stories of the past few months has been that of Lydia Playfoot, a sixteen year old girl who went to the High Court, in a campaign to wear a chastity ring to school, and who won the support of many people concerned about underage sex and teenage pregnancies.

The ring, in case you haven’t followed the news, refers to the Biblical quote from 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4.

For it is God’s will that you be sanctified: You must abstain from sexual immorality; each of you must know how to control his own body in holiness and honour.

This quote is also used by Evangelical Christians, as a claim that God prohibited homosexuality, although religious scholars seem to be undecided about the exact translation and meaning.

Anyway, regardless of how you translate and interpret the quote, it seems that Lydia may have been a part of a publicity campaign orchestrated by her parents.

Lydia is the daughter of Phil and Heather Playfoot, who it turns out are the founders and Directors of the UK branch of the same chastity ring organisation, called ‘Silver Ring Thing’.

Further, even more surprising details can be found at the Ministry of Truth blog, including the fact that Denise Pfeiffer, a senior member of the Silver Ring Thing, and described variously as “Media consultant” or “Assistant national director” is in fact a Lingerie model.

A quick Google even turns up further stories that Denise Pfeiffer is an ex-convict, who lives with Clive Potter, who turns out to be the president of the British National Party’s trade union Solidarity.

Finally, it should be mentioned that Lydia only brought this case to court, after she had completed her exams (she is sixteen after all), so the whole event does seem to be something of a non-issue.

Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Sociology at 12:17 PM BST

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Back in 2001, it was pointed out that men should wash up and take a bath before meeting women. To some guys, this was like finding the Holy Grail of pick-up, and so along with a bit of over-sensationalized sociobiology, and the revelation that guys should be confident and humorous around girls (which somehow nobody had ever worked out before then). A whole new system of meeting women was born!

Fast forward to the present day, and ‘The Times’ newspaper has got its resident Doctor, and some self-proclaimed Sex expert to come up with some equally mind-numbing ideas to Multiply your Romance (minus the pop-Psychology). I’ve repeated them here to save you the five easy monthly payments of $67. And I’m sure guys will be just as eager to study them.

1. Men aren’t irresistible and not all women are desperate for sex. Good lovemaking starts long before you reach the bedroom, so before any date, have a bath. Everyone smells: some women like the smell of male sweat, others don’t, but no one likes the smell of stale sweat.
2. Teeth are as important as the groin and armpits. Don’t forget to brush them after your bath. When kissing a girl, or even sitting close to her, she won’t want to smell your bad breath or notice salad between your teeth any more than she’ll want to smell yesterday’s sweat.
3. Avoid a heavy meal before sex. Oysters and asparagus are assumed to be aphrodisiacs, but this is only because of visual or olfactory associations. Champagne is a better bet, but choose a less acidic one, lest exotic Kama Sutra-style acts cause indigestion.
4. Be careful with drink. We all know drinking increases a man’s desire but decreases his ability, but not everyone realises it also affects a woman’s sexual response. More than two or three drinks and some women may be loving but physiologically limited.
5. Any penile discharge or sore, however apparently trivial, means that sex is out. Chlamydia in the male may be almost symptom-free. It may show only as a mild inflammation of the end of the penis, so that the lips are stuck together in the morning.
6. Always use a condom with a new partner, even if she seems as innocent as a nun. Regular partners should still have Chlamydia and blood tests.
7. Men fear judgment, whether by colleagues in the office, team mates in the changing room or, above all, by a new girlfriend. Penis size can worry some men. Remember that someone’s penis always looks smaller to the owner than to an onlooker. Women may prefer a medium-size but thick penis but, if a lover is attentive, even if offering a button rather than a baton, it won’t matter.
8. Don’t rush into sex and focus attention immediately on the genitalia. Take it slowly. Learn to massage. This can easily shade into great foreplay, especially if your partner is tired or stressed. Use plenty of lubrication.
9. Make certain that your partner knows how attractive you find her by paying as much attention to kissing her, complimenting her and generally spoiling her. Don’t neglect the breasts and other erogenous zones.
10. Both sexes have off days. Most men occasionally have poor or tardy erections and even fit, athletic, overenthusiastic men, as well as the inexperienced and anxious, may suffer premature ejaculation.
11. There’s no substitute for excitement. The range of lubricants on the market can add slip and slide, but should never be used as a short cut.
12. There’s more to sex than pushing the right button. Men have discovered that the key to female orgasm is clitoral stimulation, and many now rub the lamp rather than poking around inside it. The upside is that women are climaxing more often but the increase in emphasis on genital manipulation has made for some very mechanical sex. Going straight to the erogenous zones is the equivalent of fast forward. Men who focus on left breast, right breast, genitals, reduce their partner to a set of body parts.
13. Though clitoral orgasm is easy to achieve, most women want to experience penetrative orgasm. Intercourse is the ultimate connection between man and woman and the sensation of fullness that it creates is intensely pleasurable.
14. Women are slow burners. They take longer to become aroused and get as much pleasure, if not more, out of tenderness, kissing and cuddling. Though quickie sex has its place, for women on the whole, the longer sex takes, the better it feels. If arousal is allowed to build gradually, it floods the whole body rather than being confined to the genital area and a delayed orgasm is infinitely more powerful than an orgasm induced by five minutes of digital manipulation.
15. Sexual gymnastics are often distracting. Chopping and changing positions and techniques can make a woman’s sexual excitement plummet.
16. Thrusting for hours without climaxing doesn’t make you a stud muffin. It does make the vagina numb and sore.
17. Don’t assume your partner is comfortable in her own skin. A survey of 3,500 British women, by the bathroom equipment company SHUC, found that one woman in ten feels so embarrassed about her body that she turns the lights out before taking off her clothes. The average woman still spends a lot of time every day beating herself up about her weight and looks. Nakedness increases that vulnerability, so be sensitive to her insecurities and, if you think that your partner looks great, for God’s sake tell her.
18. Be polite. Never nudge your partner’s head towards your nether regions. During fellatio don’t thrust into your partner’s mouth, don’t hold the side of her head – and definitely warn her when you think you are going to come. With regard to orgasm, always operate a ladies-first policy.
19. Put a little X in your sex. Watching steamy movies with your partner will increase the chance that you will have sex.
20. Remember to take your socks off.

Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Biology at 1:25 AM BST

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An intriguing review article[1] has just been published in the British Journal of Urology. Urologists Kevan Wylie of the Royal Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield and Ian Eardley of St. James’ Hospital in Leeds combined the results of more than 50 international research projects into penis size and small-penis syndrome conducted since 1942, and further debunked various sexual myths.

They brought together the results of twelve relevant studies that measured the penises of 11,531 men, and noted the average erect penis mostly ranged from 14 – 16cm (5.5″ – 6.2″) in length and 12 – 13cm (4.7″ – 5.1″) in circumference at mid-shaft.

Further, according to two studies included in the review, about ninety percent of women preferred a wide penis to a long one, and according to another study, eighty-five percent of women reported being satisfied with their partner’s penis size. Yet, many normal men suffer ‘small-penis syndrome‘ (a condition in which they believe their penis is too small — even though it isn’t) and only fifty-five percent of men felt their penis was big enough.

The research notes that small-penis syndrome is much more common among men with normal-sized penises than in those afflicted with a condition known as Micropenis (defined as a penis having a length of less than 7cm (2.75″) when erect), even though Micropenis is estimated to affect only about 0.6 percent of men.

Dr Wylie said:

It is very common for men to worry about the size of their penis and it is important that these concerns aren’t dismissed as this can heighten concerns and anxieties.

It is helpful to normalise the situation and provide as much accurate information as possible, as many men either lack any information or have been misinformed.

The initial approach should be a thorough urological, psychosexual, psychological and psychiatric assessment, possibly with more than one clinician involved.

Conservative approaches to therapy, based on education and self-awareness, as well as short-term structured psychotherapies, are often successful.

There is poorly-documented evidence to support the use of penile extenders, and while information is starting to emerge on the success of some surgical techniques, this is not backed up by data on patients’ satisfaction with such procedures.

The issue of attractiveness to women is complex, but most data suggests that penile size is much lower down the list of priorities for women than such issues as a man’s personality and external grooming.

Myths debunked

Some research studies have suggested that penis size is smaller in studies focussing on older men, but Wylie and Eardley found no overall differences, when they collated the results of all the studies together.

The evidence showed little evidence due to racial differences, with the exception of one Korean study where the men had smaller than average-sized penises; and here the authors point out that this area needs further investigation.

The review also supports recent studies that find penis-enlarging vacuum devices, penis extenders and traction devices rarely live up to their promises, but in some cases, provide a psychological benefit.

The authors also take a cautious view on the subject of penis-enlargement surgery; which can include almost everything from partially separating ligaments in the penis so it hangs further from the body to injecting fat into the penis to increase its girth.

While information is starting to emerge on the success of some surgical techniques, this is not backed up by data on patients’ satisfaction with such procedures.

However, there are some ancient tried-and-tested methods for penis enlargement, but these definitely aren’t recommended.

Indian Sadhus use weights to increase their penis length, while the Topamina tribe of Brazil encourage poisonous snakes to bite their penises to get a size increase that lasts about six months.

1. Wylie, K. R., and I. Eardley, ‘Penile size and the ‘small penis syndrome’’, BJU International (2007), 99:6, 1449–1455

Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Biology at 11:59 AM BST

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It’s official (at least according to Men’s Health magazine). They surveyed their 40,000 readers worldwide, and it seems that Americans are having less sex, with fewer women, than the rest of the world.

Apparently foreign men have sex up to 70 more times a year than Americans. So, the magazine feels that its readers need a little help. They then go on to give out a few hints and tips. You can judge for yourself what their sexperts recommended…

England: Take Her, Outside
Hugh Grant has typecast British men as meek and bumbling. But according to a 2005 Durex survey of 317,000 people in 41 countries, these blokes are so irresistible; their partners can’t even wait to get back to the flat. Twice as many Brits as Americans report having had sex on public transportation and in alleyways and gardens. “Many a chap has fallen in love in the checkout line at the supermarket,” says Vicki Ford, a British psychosexual therapist and the author of Overcoming Sexual Problems. And apparently they consummate it on the way home.

Australia: Drive Her Wild
We Americans love our cars, but Australians love in their cars. Almost 75 percent of Aussies have had sex on the road, according to Durex. “We can always find a private space to get it on,” says Jan Hall, Ph.D., an Australian sex therapist. The car provides the ideal cover: “Sneaking away for a surreptitious shag or fondle says, ‘I can’t wait,’ ” says Gabrielle Morrissey, Ph.D., Australian author of A Year of Spicy Sex.

Romania: Play it Straight
Meeting women is easy, if you’re not sidetracked by insecurity (“Is she looking at me?”), coy games (“Have our waitress ask her waitress what she’s drinking”), or body-language interpretation (“Dude, her eyes say no, but the angle of her feet says olé!”).  When Romanian men want a woman, they tell her. “The men here have a lot of self-confidence,” says Felicia Abaza, sex editor of Men’s Health Romania. “And the women are tuned to respond to it.”

China: Build Tension with Technology
Forget the 3-day rule. In China, men follow up the day after a successful date–by e-mail. “Technology plays a big role in relationships here,” says Yoyoo Chow, sex editor of Men’s Health China. “Most couples meet over the Internet. So if a man doesn’t take the initiative, she’ll find someone else pretty quickly.”

Italy: Seduce Her with Food
It’s no secret that good food, wine, and conversation lead to great sex. “Italian men flock to dinner parties to meet women,” says Adriana Amedei, sex editor at Men’s Health Italy. “There’s no crowd, no noise, it’s relaxed. All you have to do is share your opinions… at least to start.” The real mating game, says Amedei, begins at the table. Flirting overtly over a meal (or discreetly under the table) builds tension that will spill over later. “Food and sex are intimately connected, because they tap into the senses,” says Martha Hopkins, author of InterCourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook.

India: Prolong Your Pleasure
Indian men know that the journey is almost always more interesting than the destination. “Sexual pleasure is linked to the gradual process of seduction, which includes courtship, touching, and kissing,” says Sanjay Srivastava, Ph.D., author of Passionate Modernity. “Focusing on the finish misses the point.”

Netherlands: Play with Positions
Lovers in the Netherlands know what they want–and how to ask for it. Sixty-four percent of Dutch men and women are confident asserting their needs during sex, compared with less than half of Americans, according to the Durex survey. “In bars, men are picked up as often as they approach women themselves, and both are willing to experiment in bed,” says Achsa Vissel, a Dutch sex psychologist. Being forward with your compliments–and desires–will pave the way for pleasure.

Greece: Don’t be So Uptight
Americans are bombarded with sexual imagery all day, yet we’re closemouthed about sex. Not in Greece. “We talk about sex all the time–in the office, with our friends, with our partners,” says Nikki Hayia, sex editor of Men’s Health Greece. “A Greek man can talk dirty to his woman in front of 10 people, and it doesn’t bother him to kiss and touch her in public.” Simple public displays of affection can work for you, too: A recent study by the Berman Center in Chicago found that couples who kiss often in nonsexual situations are eight times more likely to be sexually satisfied.

Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Sociology at 11:54 PM BST

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I stumbled across this slightly old, but still rather interesting top ten sexual legends study from Maxim Online recently; so I thought I’d reproduce it here because it makes fascinating reading about the sexual exploits of modern day libertines.

No clue as to how these feats were achieved was given, and no independent sources for the information were cited, but one assumes that hypergyny and celebrity status might possibly have had something to do with it…
 

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10. BILL WYMAN
CONQUESTS: 1,000-PLUS
In 1965 the Rolling Stones calculated that in a two-year period, Mick Jagger had mounted 30 different women, Keith Richards six, rhythm guitarist Brian Jones 130, drummer Charlie Watts none, and bassist Bill Wyman 278. “You used to have three or four a night sometimes,” Wyman said recently. “You’d spend a couple of hours with them and say bye. Then about half an hour later you’d say, ‘That one in the red dress.’”

9. EARVIN “MAGIC” JOHNSON
CONQUESTS: 1,000-PLUS
The 1,000-plus number for the hard-court wizard who led the Los Angeles Lakers to five championships is a conservative estimate. One report puts the total at up to 500 shtups a year for a dozen years—much of it done, as we all know, without the benefit of condoms. Still, Magic has stayed strong in the face of adversity and proved that an HIV-positive man can survive and even host the worst talk show of all time.

8. LEMMY KILMISTER
CONQUESTS: 1,200
Most guys on this list can be described as handsome. Not Mötorhead frontman Lemmy—unless you have a thing for James Gandolfini–size facial warts. Yet this rock god is pure catnip to the ladies. His secret? Maybe it’s his technique: “I like stroking rather than banging.” Thirty years after founding Mötorhead, he has 1,200 conquests and a Grammy, proving that music lessons are a tremendous investment.

7. JACK NICHOLSON
CONQUESTS: 2,000-PLUS
He’s one of the few people to win multiple Oscars and also do multiple Oscar winners. Kim Basinger described Jack as “the most highly sexed individual I ever met.” He also showed his Oscar to Academy Award–winning actresses Anjelica Huston, Faye Dunaway, and his One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest co-star Louise Fletcher. And he’s plowed through a number of Oscarless celebrities, too, like Michelle Phillips, Candice Bergen, and Lara Flynn Boyle, not to mention hundreds and hundreds of regular gals for good measure.

6. ILIE NASTASE
CONQUESTS: 2,500
This Romanian was a good tennis player (he won two grand slam titles in the ’70s) who would’ve been forgotten (the man played frickin’ tennis) if not for his wicked behaviour. “Nasty,” as he was called, had a real knack for gaining access to the ladies’ love shacks, as 2,500 chicas can attest. Recently, he mused, “A lot of sex in those days was like taking a shower. You take one, it feels nice, and then you forget it.” Let’s hear it for cleanliness!

5. ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK
CONQUESTS: 3,000
Who knew? The strangely named soft-rock sensation has had more ladies than Kid Rock and Chris Rock combined. Born in 1936 as Arnold Dorsey, he switched to the stage name Engelbert Humperdinck and achieved an endless supply of hoochies with the hit song “Release Me” in 1967. His memoir, What’s in a Name?, includes a chapter where his wife of over 40 years discusses how his many betrayals made her feel (not good), to which Engelbert replied, “Forgiveness is one of the greatest things you can give.”

4. JULIO IGLESIAS
CONQUESTS: 3,000-PLUS
Enrique’s randy old dad set out to be a soccer goalie, but when a car accident damaged his spinal cord he needed to find a new line of work. He settled on music and intercourse. After winning a Spanish singing contest in 1968, he went on to sell 200 million records and boink nearly as many ladies. Iglesias is usually credited with 3,000 notches on his bedpost, but in 2004 he called the number into question, musing, “That probably was until 1976, so they didn’t count the other women.”

3. GENE SIMMONS
CONQUESTS: 4,600
In 1973 Gene started his band Kiss with two goals: make tons of money and score hordes of foxy tail. “I was a 24-hour whore,” he once said. “All I ever thought about was sex.” The long-tongued man-slut has led his group to cash in on all possible merchandising angles (get a Kiss-themed coffin!), while still tagging everything within reach. “The male species manufactures billions of sperm,” he declared. “The only problem with women is they think all those sperm we make are just for them.” Way to share, Gene!

2. CHARLIE SHEEN
CONQUESTS: 5,000
The son of Martin and brother of Emilio Estevez has an infamous lust for hookers. The irony is, of course, that Charlie’s also quite capable of getting ladies who’ll do the deed gratis. It’s how he managed to rack up 5,000 pairs of boots knocked—including those of porn star Ginger Lynn and stunning soon-to-be ex-wife Denise Richards. Denise and Charlie have split, allegedly because she failed to take his observation, “You’re definitely one of the hottest 1,000 or so women I’ve banged, baby,” as a compliment (that’s top 20 percent, missy).

1. UMBERTO BILLO
CONQUESTS: 8,000
Despite lacking fame, wealth, and U.S. citizenship, this Italian hotel porter insists he’s “made around 8,000 women happy,” sometimes entertaining four tourists a night. Umberto, whose talents came to worldwide attention when he appeared on the British TV show Eurotrash, claims he inspired tremendous brand loyalty—“They crossed oceans to see me”—as the ladies repeatedly returned to sample his services. Indeed, after his Venetian employer axed him from his porterly duties, an American businesswoman rushed to Billo’s defence: “I must have spent thousands in the hotel because of him!” His ex-boss remained unimpressed, complaining, “Sometimes he was too exhausted to carry the guests’ luggage.” Hey, the man’s not a machine.

Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, History at 11:37 PM BST

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Someone at Play-dot-com must have ordered rather too many copies of several fairly uncommon books, by accident, because a story in one of today’s give away newspapers states that Play has conducted a survey, in which it is claimed that “Women are attracted to men who read certain titles while travelling on the Underground”.

For some reason, Play seems reluctant to put any link to this survey on their website, or even mention this survey on the website at all; perhaps because it appears to be particularly unscientific, and in fact rather random.

Furthermore, I can find no links to the Pollsters or Academics that carried out the study, added to the fact that there is no methodology given either.

In summary, a man should apparently be seen reading:

• Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
• The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham
• The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
• Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNab

And men should avoid being seen reading:

• Harry Potter by Joanne Rowling
• Tricks of the Mind by Derren Brown
• David Beckham’s biography

Possibly, if Play were to publish the entire study, instead of a brief self-publicising puff piece, we might gain valuable insights into the minds of women who read Harry Potter books. Or perchance, how many times people have ever been spotted reading any William Shakespeare play on the tube; and whether they were really romantics, or just struggling actors…

In fact, the only reason that I even entertained writing about this story was that Benjamin Graham’s ‘The Intelligent Investor’ was listed second on the list. So, aside from the tenuous assumption that the reader could be making a lot of money (and surely, if he was making a lot of money, he wouldn’t need that book?). Benjamin Graham was actually a notorious womanizer.

For example, Janet Lowe reports:

Benjamin Graham had a phenomenal personality, great sense of humour and a brilliant mind. However, he was also known to be a womanizer and a male chauvinist. Ben’s students got a chuckle, both from their professor’s jokes, and from his other caprices. A former student tells of the afternoon that Ben hurried into the classroom and on his way dropped a sheet of paper. The student glanced at the page to see whom to return it to and was astonished to find a love poem. It was ludicrously purple prose addressed to a blond model that Ben had fallen for. His colleagues and students knew Ben took an avid interest in the ladies. Ben’s affairs with other women eventually ended up brewing trouble at home. He separated from his wife, who could not tolerate his affectionate affairs with other women.

Later, after the suicide of his son, Graham travelled to France to collect his possessions. When he arrived, he fell in love with his late son’s girlfriend, Marie Louise. Since Graham, at that time, was already married to his fourth wife, back in California; he suggested to her that she shared him with his new love, much to her distress. And from then on, she only saw him for six months of the year.

Personally, I think it may be rather more interesting to buy a copy of the book ‘How to Be the Jerk Women Love‘, and see what reactions I get from that.

Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Sociology at 11:25 PM BST

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Biochemistry has always been a subject of interest to me; and since I saw this fascinating article discussing love and the brain’s biochemistry, some time ago, I figured it may be of interest to readers here.

Luckily I saved a copy, because the original article seems to have since disappeared from its original website. Therefore, I’ll repost my copy here, and people interested in Biochemistry may learn some things to their advantage.

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My Love is Chemical by James Adams

(www.brain.com)

Valentine’s Day is here, Spring is approaching, and as the poet Tennyson wrote, “a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love,” and he might have added, neurotransmitters and hormones. Researchers have begun to unlock the secrets behind the age-old mystery of love, and they’re finding that, for both men and women, the key really is in the chemistry.

“There’s no doubt in my mind that there are a whole series of biochemical pathways that are triggered when two people meet and are attracted to each other,” says James Weinrich, Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California, San Diego. “One of those pathways would have to do with the experience of being ‘head-over-heels’ preoccupied with someone. Where you can’t get that person out of your head, they intrude into your thoughts, and everything that they do is remarkably charming to you.”

As anyone who has ever experienced it knows, the rush of falling “head-over-heels” in love is intoxicating. And it appears to be due, in part, to the effects of a neurotransmitter released by a region of the brain called the hypothalamus. That neurotransmitter, called “the molecule of love” by Theresa Crenshaw, M.D., author of The Alchemy of Love and Lust, is phenyl ethylamine (PEA).

“It causes that euphoria of falling in love. It gives that wonderful feeling, that feeling that this person that you’re attracted to can do no harm, this person has nothing wrong with them. When PEA is high is when ‘love is blind,” explains Robert Friar of Ferris State University in Michigan. It’s kind of a chemical Cupid, firing an arrow into the brain and firing up those feelings of falling in love.

However, PEA doesn’t act alone. When you meet someone that you’re attracted to, PEA works in conjunction with a whole slew of neurotransmitters floating around in that love-addled brain of yours, including dopamine, nor-epinephrine and serotonin. Dopamine may be involved in the “attention-getting” phase of attraction, signalling the brain that a potential reward, in this case a love interest, is nearby and helping focus your attention on that person. Nor-epinephrine gets your blood racing and primes you for action (or to flee, in some cases–it’s involved in the so-called “fight or flight” response), while serotonin is closely associated with the control of moods, which everyone knows can fluctuate drastically in the process of falling in love.

“It’s very complex,” says Friar. “When you’re discussing the neurotransmitters, it’s like listening to an orchestra,” he explains. “Unless all the instruments play together in the proper rhythm and the proper sequence, you won’t get the proper effect.” All the neurotransmitters are working together to create a complex behaviour that can be compared to a symphony.

In this case, a symphony of attraction and love, and that symphony can come to a final note. As most people have, at one time or another, experienced the thrill of falling in love, so have they experienced the fading of that initial excitement, a levelling off of the intense feelings of attraction, and possibly, a falling out of love.

What brings about the change from those original feelings? It seems that the effects of PEA have a time limit. “Typically PEA is released for three to five years,” says Friar, and he’s being optimistic. Other researchers put the end of PEA’s influence at 18 months to three years.

That may be the reason so many relationships tend to end in that time period. Once the initial thrill wears off, couples may drift apart. But obviously many stay together beyond this point in time. Some evidence suggests the reason is that a second biochemical pathway kicks in and helps the couple develop a longer-lasting relationship. This second pathway is involved in bonding and forming long term attachments and may be under the influence of at least two hormones, oxytocin and vasopressin.

The Hormones of Love
Testosterone is known to be important in regulating sexual desire in both men and women. It’s the hormone that helps create the desire to get out there and get that exciting neurotransmitter symphony going, but “there’s been a big bias in favour of the so-called sex hormones, like testosterone and oestrogen, to try to explain just about everything having to do with human sexuality,” says James Weinrich.

There appear to be other hormones involved in sexual behaviour, specifically in creating the next (perhaps slower) movement of the symphony, when committed couples “settle down” for a life together. One of the hormones, oxytocin, has been long known to be involved in childbirth and breast feeding in women.

Recent research in animals has shown that oxytocin plays a role in the bonding of mating pairs of prairie voles, a type of monogamous rodent. If a female prairie vole is given oxytocin and shown a male prairie vole, she will then pick out and bond with that specific male when later placed in cage containing many males.

Early studies in humans have suggested that women that produce higher levels of oxytocin during pleasant experiences, like massage or remembering a positive relationship, tended to have higher “well-being” in relationships.

Both men and women release oxytocin at the moment of sexual orgasm, suggesting that it might be involved in strengthening the bond between couples.

Another hormone, vasopressin, which is also known as anti-diuretic hormone, or ADH, and plays and important role in kidney function, has been shown to have an effect on male prairie voles similar to the effect oxytocin had on females.

“It’s not surprising to discover that there’s more than a sex steroid pathway that’s going on to influence the things that we humans associate with sexuality, namely bonding and love,” says Weinrich.

In Conclusion
As Robert Friar points out, there’s still much to be learned about the neurochemical basis of love and attraction. Much of the research has been conducted in animals, and it’s impossible to do the same experiments with human subjects, so results have to be extrapolated. And animal experiments are limited in the sense that, while you can measure levels of neurotransmitters and hormones, you can’t, in Friar’s words, “ask a rat how it feels.”

Some die-hard romantics might be appalled at the idea that love can be explained in terms of biochemistry, but an underlying chemical explanation doesn’t make the feeling of love any less real or intense. If one still needs some amount of mystery in relation to love, perhaps it lies in the question of how a complex system of chemical reactions can lead to the feelings and behaviours we associated with any type of emotion, including love. As James Weinrich says, “Give Mother Nature credit for being able to put together some pretty sophisticated and complicated mechanisms.” Mechanisms that scientists will be unravelling for many years to come.

Sources:

Crenshaw, Theresa L. The Alchemy of Love and Lust: How Our Sex Hormones Influence Our Relationships. Pocket Books; 1997.

Insel TR, Winslow JT, Wang Z, Young LJ. Oxytocin, vasopressin, and the neuroendocrine basis of pair bond formation. Advances in Experimental Medicine and Biology 1998;449:215-24.

Turner RA, Altemus M, Enos T, Cooper B, McGuinness T. Preliminary research on plasma oxytocin in normal cycling women: investigating emotion and interpersonal distress. Psychiatry 1999;62(2):97-113.

Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Biochemistry at 7:42 AM BST

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