Like pretty much every aspect of seduction, the craft of kissing is one which is only perfected with practise. Budding beginners need good role models to copy, in order to get their tongue movement, body positions and passionate glances all up to scratch. And, fortunately, Hollywood is still providing exceptional examples of all three; although sexual health scare stories have made some very good technical kissers less open mouthed on the screen.
However, digging around in the archives, and including the quite unabashed Richard Gere, does produce five perfect models.
Here they are:
- Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall in The Big Sleep
- Richard Gere and Debra Winger in An Officer and a Gentleman
- Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity
- Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh in Gone with the Wind
- Christopher Jones and Sarah Miles in Ryan’s Daughter
An addendum needs to be included for Sylvester Stallone in Rambo: First Blood Part II, when he kisses the Vietnamese girl who’s just helped him escape from the POW camp.
It’s not that this is a particularly good kiss, but it’s outstanding just because it’s surrounded by so much blood and guts - the sole moment of saliva in a $30 million bloodbath.
Predictably, she gets killed in his arms.
Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Sociology at 8:35 PM EDT
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In a country that has reached a population of over 1.1 billion there must be an extensive knowledge of what might increase reproductive behaviour. In the following article, some recommendations from Ayurvedic medicine, as well as from modern Indian herbalists have been brought together.
Ajwain: or Bishop’s Weed (Trachyspermum ammi) is a shrub, occurring from Egypt to India, and which has been used for medical purposes for several thousand years. The seeds are rich in thymol and are considered an effective aphrodisiac. The seeds should be crushed and fried in ghee (clarified butter), normal butter or olive oil together with an equal quantity of crushed tamarind seeds. A teaspoon of this fried product, taken together with honey and milk before bed, increases virility and cures premature ejaculation, according to traditional Indian herbal medicine.
Arjuna: Terminalia arjuna, is a tree found in India, Myanmar and Sri Lanka. A decoction of the powdered white bark with milk is alleged to be an effective sex stimulant if taken regularly over a period of time. Further uses suggested in Ayurvedic medicine include treatment of asthma and heart disorders.
Butea: The leaves of the Indian tree Butea monosperma, “Flame of the forest”, have been used in Indian herbal medicine as an aphrodisiac and to stop bleeding and diarrhoea. However, do note that an infusion of the leaves is also said to lower blood sugar, which could have detrimental effects.
Castus: Saussurea lappa (Compositae), also known in Chinese herbal medicine as mu xiang, occurs amongst other places, in Kashmir at an altitude of 2,500 - 4,000 metres above sea level. The root of the plant is well known in Ayurvedic medicine as an aphrodisiac, and contains an essential oil that is partly excreted in urine. During the passage of urine through the urethra the presence of the oil causes considerable irritation, which can give rise to a somewhat painful erection. This mechanism is similar to that of Spanish fly.
Cardamom: Powdered cardamom seeds, boiled with milk, produce a remedy against impotence and premature ejaculation, when taken together with honey in the evening. At least according to traditional Indian herbal medicine; but be careful as excessive use might lead to impotency, according to the same sources.
Hydrophilia: Asteracanthus longifolia is a stout, rough, thorny annual plant occurring in swamps in India and Pakistan. The seeds, the dried plant and the roots are used as a popular aphrodisiac. Fifty grams of the root boiled with one litre of water until the volume has been reduced to half a litre will provide a tonic of which three tablespoons should be taken daily for optimal effects.
Indian aloe: Aloe barbedensis of the Liliaceae family, is a 50-80 centimetre high plant with long, fleshy leaves and small yellow or orange flowers. The leaves are believed to be a useful aphrodisiac, but the skin must be removed before administration.
Indian liquorice: is a common name of the root of Abrus precatorius. However, it is the seeds, sometimes known as jequirity, that are believed to be an aphrodisiac. Do note that they contain the extremely toxic polypeptide abrin, which is as toxic as ricin, and five crushed seeds have been a lethal dose. During the early 20th Century, the seeds were used in India to poison English cavalry horses, although the normal use of the seeds is for ornamental purposes, e.g. in necklaces.
Indian mallow: Abutilon indicum has seeds which are believed to be both an aphrodisiac and a laxative (a rather bizarre combination of properties). Its leaves have been used to treat diarrhoea as well as Gonorrhoea and bladder inflammations.
Kuthimithi: All parts of the shrub Withania somnifera, known as Winter Cherry, Kuthimithi or under its Sanskrit name Ashwagandha, are said to promote libido, with the root being the most potent part. A traditional Indian recipe calls for two to four grams of the powdered root to be taken with milk. The plant belongs to the potato family, Solanaceae, but contains relatively few tropane alkaloids. However, somniferine is present, an alkaloid which can induce sleep if taken in sufficient quantities.
Salt: Sodium chloride can be regarded as the most basic spice. In Indian Ayurvedic medicine, rock salt obtained from the salt mines of Sindh was considered to be an aphrodisiac and a heart tonic.
The Kama Sutra
Otherwise known as Aphorisms on Love, by Vatsyayana, The Kama Sutra is a classical Indian treatise on the art of making love and related subjects. Its exact date of origin is not known, only that it must have been written between the first and the sixth century, A.D. It was first translated into English in 1883 by Sir Richard F. Burton.
Part seven deals with methods of “attracting others to yourself” and contains numerous recipes for internal as well as external use. Many of them are based on plants which are identified only by their Hindi names, and which are virtually impossible to obtain outside of India.
To make a woman surrender: If a man wants to make a woman subject to his will, he can prepare a mixture of the powders of white thorn apple Datura stramonium (Warning extremely toxic), long pepper (tippali, Piper longum) and black pepper, combine it with honey and anoint his penis before intercourse. It should be noted that the tropane alkaloids of the thorn apple will be readily reabsorbed through the mucous membranes of the penis and the vagina, and might cause severe poisoning. Alternative, and less risky, ointments to achieve the same purpose include constituents such as flowers thrown on a human corpse when carried out to be burned and the remains of a kite that has died a natural death. Another suggestion, to apply a mixture of arsenic and honey to the penis just before intercourse would also be extremely dangerous to both parties.
Increase sexual vigour: Several Kama Sutra preparations are said to increase sexual vigour. The easiest to prepare consists of equal parts of ghee (clarified butter), honey, sugar, liquorice, the juice of fennel bulbs and milk. This is “a nectar-like composition” which is “provocative of sexual vigour” and a “preservative of life”. Milk, liquorice and sugar/honey play a central role in many of the recipes. Additional ingredients can include the asparagus relative shitawari (Asparagus racemosus), long pepper (Piper longum) and the seeds or roots of Trapa bispinosa.
Slightly more exotic is the suggestion to boil the testicle of a ram or goat in milk, add sugar, and drink the concoction. The Kama Sutra does not specify whether the testicle should be pureed before serving.
Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Biology at 12:01 AM EDT
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I used to think that Seduction was a science, and it’s easy to see why. If you follow a few simple rules, you end up with more love, friends and sex in your life.
But thinking a little deeper, any strategy I may suggest to you now will not guarantee that you the meet the person of your dreams, and it certainly wouldn’t work 100% of the time. Whereas if I told you how to synthesise some chemical compound, build an electronic circuit or even bake a cake; then so long as you take care, and have enough intelligence to follow my instructions properly, you know what to expect at the end of the process. And, as creator I would know what response someone would have - repeatedly.
However, if I were to write a play, compose music, or paint a picture then I will have had an intended response in mind during the creation process, but ultimately I cannot control what response you will have to my oeuvre. For this reason, I consider that Seduction is closer to an art than a science.
Whilst everything can be art, to claim “everything is art” is just lazy thinking. I could equally claim “everything is science”; since there is chemistry involved in painting, engineering governs much of sculpture and physics controls the harmonics of music etc. Although if you’re still not convinced, please contact me, as I have a dumpster full of art to sell you!
Now, I believe that there is a need for more serious study of art and seduction to be undertaken. Matters of seduction are too often relegated to the Humour section of bookshops, with perhaps the most serious studies being the “How to get your man to do what you want, whilst keeping him happy and upholding your Feminist principles” articles to be found in certain women’s magazines.
I would expect that art specialists would be perfectly positioned to tell us something about the relationship between biology and the erotic workings of the mind, because there are many great works of art of a sexual nature. Then there is erotica, and finally there is smutty literature of the type found in Soho sex shops, yet all depict essentially the same thing. More mysteriously, the people upset by this last category are often the same people who will gaze in wonderment at a painting of a naked lady.
Pornography and art seem to have gone hand-in-hand for longer than records exist, and with each new art medium pornography soon followed. So, perhaps originally, there was no dividing line, or maybe it just fluctuated over the centuries, as society wavered between repression and hedonism.
The Barbican’s exhibition Seduced: Art and Sex from Antiquity to Now is curated by Marina Wallace, Martin Kemp and Joanne Bernstein, all of whom seem to be well qualified and respectable curators. Thus, it’s disappointing that they have only managed to produce a collection of dry, uninformative pornography. Perhaps I missed something, but we learn nothing of the heritage of pornography, none of the art is put into context, and it’s not explained how the exhibited artists changed the circumstances in which art becomes porn or vice versa. Perhaps we’re just to assume that if Pornography is shown often enough, it’ll somehow transform itself into art.
During my visit to the exhibition, I found the other visitors more interesting than the artworks. The former being an interesting mixture of average people off the street, art anoraks, and the fetish crowd (complete with big boots, PVC clothing and outsize hats); whilst the latter consisted of a scant array of international pornography through the ages, and seemed to induce more sniggering from the visitors than thought provocation.
As someone who admittedly is still learning about fine arts, I left the exhibition without any clue as to whether a Jeff Koons picture, for example, was art, pornography or erotica.
The curators could have shed some light on why early pornographic films had a storyline and were very tender, yet so much modern pornography is just violent fucking. How does pornography relate to the films and TeeVee programmes we see these days? They could even have investigated differences between homosexual and lesbian pornography – but they’ve kept the exhibition almost entirely heterosexual, apart from a few early paintings.
So, ultimately, I’m not even sure why the exhibition is called Seduced. It would certainly have been more interesting if we had been seduced by it. But, unfortunately I can’t say I really learned anything new. Although I’m sure the fetish crowd could have shown the curators a few new things, given the chance.
Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Reviews at 11:11 PM EST
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Browsing through The Annals of Improbable Research, I see that Dutch academic Wolter Seuntjens has successfully defended a Ph.D. thesis entitled “The Hidden Sexuality of the Human Yawn“.
Since the proximate Cause(s) of why we yawn have eluded scientists, and baffled many people for quite some time, it’s interesting to see that some research has been conducted in this area, and rather intriguing to find that there may be a sexual element to some types of yawns.
Dr Seuntjens, of Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam, tries to provide a systematic-encyclopaedic overview of all the available knowledge about yawning; drawing on linguistics (semantics, etymology), sociology, psychology, the medical sciences (anatomy, physiology, pathology, and pharmacology), and even the arts (literature, film, visual arts). He then associates much of the data, and examines the hypothesis that yawning has a sexual aspect.
He believes there is currently no good explanation that explains yawning, and points out that the popular hypoxia (the body taking in extra oxygen) and hypercapnia (the body getting rid of extra carbon dioxide) theories were conclusively refuted by Robert Provine and collaborators back in 1987. But further, the newer popular theory that yawning leads to wakefulness (‘arousal defense reflex,’ Askenasy 1989) has a number of problems (Regehr, Ogilvie, and Simons 1992).
Dr Seuntjens makes the preliminary conclusion:
[W]e have really no idea what causes yawning and what purpose yawning serves or what mechanisms are responsible for yawning and even what the essential anatomical constituents of yawning are. In the age in which the human genome has been deciphered and space travel has become almost trite this verdict may sound like an affront
There was however at least one recurrent theme: eroticism-sexuality.
Both the ‘yawn’ and the ‘stretch’ of the stretch-yawn syndrome have been linked to ‘desire’ and ‘longing for’, by previous researchers. And ‘being in love’ by numerous proverbs and sayings. Psychoanalysts and Depth-psychologists that mention yawns interpreted them as latent sexual signals, while other authors have described the feeling that accompanies the acme of yawning as a ‘mini orgasm’.
Dr Seuntjens states:
In discussing pathology I discovered that yawning and spontaneous ejaculation were mentioned concomitantly in terminal rabies.
And continues:
In discussing pharmacology I found a link between yawning and spontaneous orgasm in withdrawal from heroin addiction. Likewise, yawning and sexual response were associated as clinical side effects of several antidepressant drugs. In one publication an undeniable causal relation was reported: both spontaneous and intentional yawning provoked instantaneous ejaculation orgasm.
He concludes:
There are times when a yawn is simply a yawn. (Even if a ’simple’ yawn is not simple at all.)
In everyday life each and every individual yawn must be interpreted, as it cannot be ascribed to one specific cause, or be explained with total certainty.
Dr Seuntjens website
baillement.com is a cornucopia of information on yawning, should you decide to study Pandiculation further.
Update:
It seems that the
latest research into yawning suggests that it may be a brain cooling mechanism, cooling mechanism that promotes increased alertness.
Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Psychology, Sociology at 8:58 PM EDT
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Today’s Grauniad has some excerpts from one of the oldest seduction guides around, Ovid’s didactic poem Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love), which was originally published, sometime between 2BC and AD2.
The article points out a number of Roman achievements: straight roads, under-floor heating, excellent sewage systems; but more importantly, they invented romantic love. And, Ovid has left us a detailed, scandalous, hilarious, cynical, explicit yet still user-friendly handbook on how to find it.
So, here’s Ovid’s (really quite simple) three step guide to meeting your ideal partner:
Part I : Get ready - get a makeover
et nihil emineant et sint sine sordibus ungues,
inque caua nullus stet tibi nare pilus.
nec male odorati sit tristis anhelitus oris,
nec laedat nares uirque paterque gregis.
cetera lasciuae faciant concede puellae
et si quis male uir quaerit habere uirum. |
Keep your nails pared, and dirt-free;
Don’t let those long hairs sprout
In your nostrils, make sure your breath is never offensive,
Avoid the rank male stench
That wrinkles noses. Beyond this is for wanton women
Or any half-man who wants to attract men. |
For women, he advises no body hair:
Quam paene admonui, ne trux caper iret in alas
neque forent duris aspera crura pilis |
I was going to advise you about grim, goaty armpits,
and rough, bristling hair on your legs. |
And then, concerning makeup:
non tamen expositas mensa deprendat amator
pyxidas: ars faciem dissimulata iuuat. |
But don’t let your lover find all those jars and bottles
On your dressing table: the best Makeup remains unobtrusive. |
He continues, on the topic of hairdos:
munditiis capimur: non sint sine lege capilli;
admotae formam dantque negantque manus.
nec genus ornatus unum est: quod quamque decebit,
eligat et speculum consulat ante suum.
longa probat facies capitis discrimina puri:
sic erat ornatis Laodamia comis.
exiguum summa nodum sibi fronte relinqui,
ut pateant aures, ora rotunda uolunt.
alterius crines umero iactentur utroque:
talis es adsumpta, Phoebe canore, lyra;
altera succinctae religetur more Dianae,
ut solet, attonitas cum petit illa feras. |
What attracts us is elegance - so don’t neglect your hairstyle;
Looks can be made or marred by a skilful touch.
Nor will one style suit all: there are innumerable fashions,
And each girl should look in her glass
Before choosing what suits her reflection. Long features go best with
A plain central parting: that’s how
Laodamia’s hair was arranged. A round-faced lady
Should pile all her hair on top,
Leaving the ears exposed. One girl should wear it down on
Her shoulders, like Apollo about to play
The lyre; another should braid it in the style of the huntress
Diana, when she’s after some frightened beast, Skirt hitched up. |
For the final part of the makeover, Ovid suggests learning some Latin poetry, which luckily, you’re doing right now.
Part II : Get out into town
You wont meet someone special sitting at home, so create opportunities to meet people. Be bold, suggests Ovid: talk to the pretty girls that hang out at the temple of Palatine Apollo or in Pompey’s portico.
sera ueni positaque decens incede lucerna:
grata mora uenies, maxima lena mora est;
etsi turpis eris, formosa uidebere potis,
et latebras uitiis nox dabit ipsa tuis. |
Arrive late, when the lamps are lit; make a
graceful entrance -
Delay enhances charm, delay’s a great bawd.
Plain you may be, but at night you’ll look fine |
Men should take into account flattering lighting, when you’re meeting girls:
hic tu fallaci nimium ne crede lucernae:
iudicio formae noxque merumque nocent.
luce deas caeloque Paris spectauit aperto,
cum dixit Veneri “uincis utramque, Venus.”
nocte latent mendae uitioque ignoscitur omni,
horaque formosam quamlibet illa facit. |
Don’t trust the lamplight too much,
It’s deceptive. When Paris examined those
goddesses, when he said, “You Beat them both, Venus,”
he did it in broad Daylight. But darkness hides faults,
each blemish is forgiven: Any woman you name will pass
As a beauty at night. |
How do you approach someone you fancy? Easy, says old Ovid, here’s an example:
You’re sitting next to a pretty girl at the races…
hic tibi quaeratur socii sermonis origo,
et moueant primos publica uerba sonos:
cuius equi ueniant facito studiose requiras,
nec mora, quisquis erit cui fauet illa, faue.
at cum pompa frequens caelestibus ibit eburnis,
tu Veneri dominae plaude fauente manu;
utque fit, in gremium puluis si forte puellae
deciderit, digitis excutiendus erit;
etsi nullus erit puluis, tamen excute nullum. |
Some excuse to engage in friendly conversation,
Casual small talk at first -
Ask, with a show of interest, whose are those horses
Just coming past: find out Her favourite, back it yourself.
When the long procession of ivory
Deities approaches, be sure you give
A big hand to Lady Venus. If some dust should settle
In your girl’s lap, flick it away with your fingers;
and if there’s no dust, still flick away - nothing. |
Part III : Keep going
So, you’ve met a potential lover, but how do you actually seduce them?
Ovid states that victory is all about self-belief. Imagine yourself to be invincible, and chances are you will be.
prima tuae menti ueniat fiducia, cunctas
posse capi: capies, tu modo tende plagas.
uere prius uolucres taceant, aestate cicadae,
Maenalius lepori det sua terga canis,
femina quam iuueni blande temptata epugnet;
haec quoque, quam poteris credere nolle, uolet. |
The first thing to get in your head is that every single
Girl can be caught - and that you’ll catch her if
You set your toils right. Birds will sooner fall
dumb in spring time, Cicadas in summer, or a hunting-dog
Turn his back on a hare, than a lover’s bland inducements
Can fail with a woman. |
Keep in touch with your new love interest:
Sit tibi credibilis sermo consuetaque uerba,
blanda tamen, praesens ut uideare loqui. |
use everyday language, familiar yet flattering words,
as though you were there, in her presence. |
And:
| Postque breuem rescribe moram: mora semper amantes incitat |
Write back after a little delay: delay always fires up lovers |
If you followed all the poet’s steps closely, you should have pulled. If not, keep trying. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Jonathan adds:
I’ve found a complete English translation of Ovid’s poem, that you may wish to view
here.
Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, History at 11:47 PM EDT
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Whilst this film is probably most useful as entertainment, rather than some type of pickup guide, Roger Dodger does contain some excellent dialogue.
The first scene in particular amply demonstrates a man that is confident, charismatic and able to subtly move conversation in any direction he wants; but a man who is also exceptionally devious and unable to form intimate relationships with anyone.
Several times we’ve seen people hoodwinked by over-hyped and poorly tested theories; most notably Baker and Bellis’ Kamikaze Sperm Hypothesis, or just plain pseudo-scientific fabrication, such as virtually any theory which starts “50,000 years ago…” that you may perchance have read on other seduction related websites.
Instead of taking these theories literally, simply because they might sound like they could be true; try considering what is the outcome that the communicator is trying to induce amongst the members of his audience?
With this in mind, have another look at the first scene from Roger Dodger:
Roger Dodger - Opening scene: Five Co-workers in a Restaurant
Roger: What’s happening right now, is important only in the context of our continuing evolution as a species.
Donovan: Roger, Roger, all I’m saying is that I wish my sister would learn to read a subway map.
Roger: And, by saying that, you disregard the primary importance of utility … in human relationships.
Roger: Our ability; Man’s, Men’s ability to read maps, to navigate, makes us useful. You should discourage your sister from even looking at a map.
Joyce: Are you saying: that we women have an inferior sense of direction?
Roger: Which way is North, Joyce, without looking around?
Joyce: What?
Roger: You heard me. Point North quick. North North. Quick! North, North… Nooorrth (Point’s north).
Donovan: You’re right.
Joyce: Is he right?
Donovan: He’s right.
Elaine: [Clapping] Very impressive.
Roger: As she has throughout history; the female responds to the male who displays the most utility. By honing those skills which make me useful, I stave off my inevitable obsolescence.
Donovan: So, what? You stay home honing your ability to program a VCR?
Christopher: My VCR’s been flashing twelve o’clock for three years.
Elaine: What else, Roger?
Joyce: Oh, driving a standard shift. Lifting heavy things.
Elaine: Air guitar.
Group: [Laughter]
Roger: Yes, yes. Go ahead and chuckle, okay? But until women evolve the ability to move objects telepathically - And they will - Physical strength remains a primary utility.
Donovan: Here’s to brute strength then! (Offers a toast).
Group: [Laughter]
Joyce: You know Roger, you’re forgetting a very important male utility.
Roger: What’s that? Barbecuing?
Joyce: (Shakes head) … Sex.
Elaine: Yeah. I want a guy to do more than just program my VCR.
Donovan: Oh, Elaine, I’ll program your VCR, Baby, like you never had it.
Elaine: It’s a top-loader. You think you can handle that?
Roger: Interestingly, a group of scientists in England, just announced their intention to fertilize an egg without the use of sperm cells.
Joyce: No…? I don’t understand that.
Roger: Every cell in the human body contains a copy of the genome pattern. The only reason sperm cells have all the fun is that up until now… they were the only ones with access. Within Christopher’s lifetime, artificial insemination will render sperm as useless as an assembly line worker in Detroit.
Donovan: Luckily, my accountant set up a golden parachute for my sperm years ago… In case they were downsized.
Group: [Laughter]
Joyce: Just so you know, Roger, you know that we women… make love because we like it… Not just to procreate.
Elaine: Yeah.
Roger: But are men absolutely necessary?
Joyce: I don’t know about that.
Roger: Think of the structure of the female genitalia.
Donovan: Wait, wait… Okay, got it.
Group: [Laughter]
Roger: What is the most sensitive part of the vagina?
Elaine: I can’t believe we’ve gotten into this.
Joyce: I think you know this, Donovan.
Roger: It’s the clitoris, first discovered by Renaldus Columbus in 1559.
Donovan: First he thought it was India.
Group: [Laughter] Oh, no! No!
Roger: The crown of the clitoris contains 8,000 nerve fibres. It’s a far greater concentration than in any part of the male body… even our fingertips. It is the most efficient pleasure-delivery system ever devised by nature.
Roger: Now, ask yourself… Why didn’t the clitoris end up inside the vagina? So that intercourse would be naturally… compellingly… constantly pleasurable for a woman?
Joyce: (Raises hand) I know the answer.
Roger: Yes, Ms. Maynard.
Joyce: Because: in primitive time, women died of childbirth. So for intercourse to be too pleasurable - wouldn’t make sense from a Darwinian standpoint.
Donovan: I’m impressed.
Roger: Absolutely right… So, What does that tell us?
Elaine: That Evolution is looking out for us girls?
Joyce: Exactly.
Roger: That for women… intercourse and sexual fulfilment were never intended to intersect. New technology just makes it official.
Roger: Future generations of women will evolve clitorises - clitori, clitorati -
Joyce: Clitorissimo.
Group: [Laughter]
Roger: That are larger, longer, even more sensitive. And a woman’s ability, as well as her desire to self-stimulate will increase exponentially; as intercourse is robbed of its procreative utility.
Christopher: I’m confused; and frightened.
Roger: You should be… The species is not static, okay… We’re in a constant state of flux.
Roger: Two genders has been the default setting for one reason only: So far, it’s been the only way to propagate the race.
Elaine: Is there any species that just has one gender… that doesn’t have male or female?
Roger: Starfish, for one.
Donovan: Next time I see a starfish, I’m gonna tell him to go fuck himself.
Group: [Silence]
Donovan: Come on. You love it.
Elaine: No, we don’t.
Roger: So where are we headed… Equality? Equality; what is that?
Roger: Is that a principle of nature? We all sit around reading Subway maps together…
Roger: No, of course not. Natural selection. Now that is a principle of nature. Selection. Something has to lose, something has to be defeated, in order for something else to be selected. So, what does this mean?
Donovan: Means we all have to take orders from Joyce for the rest of lives.
Joyce: That’s right. I like that.
Roger: It means that ten or fifteen generations from now… men will be reduced to servitude. Technology and evolution will have combined, to exclude sperm from procreation. And our final destiny will be to lift couches, and wait for that day when telepathy overcomes gravity, and our gender’s last remaining utility is lost forever.
Joyce: Forever… [Laughter]
Elaine: Oh, my God, Roger.
Roger: [Looks to Donovan]
Donovan: What? I’m done.
Roger: Then I rest my case.
Group: [Applause]
Roger: Thank you.
Roger: Love you people.
Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Psychology at 12:32 AM EDT
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One of the big repeating news stories of the past few months has been that of Lydia Playfoot, a sixteen year old girl who went to the High Court, in a campaign to wear a chastity ring to school, and who won the support of many people concerned about underage sex and teenage pregnancies.
The ring, in case you haven’t followed the news, refers to the Biblical quote from 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4.
For it is God’s will that you be sanctified: You must abstain from sexual immorality; each of you must know how to control his own body in holiness and honour.
This quote is also used by Evangelical Christians, as a claim that God prohibited homosexuality, although religious scholars seem to be undecided about the exact translation and meaning.
Anyway, regardless of how you translate and interpret the quote, it seems that Lydia may have been a part of a publicity campaign orchestrated by her parents.
Lydia is the daughter of Phil and Heather Playfoot, who it turns out are the founders and Directors of the UK branch of the same chastity ring organisation, called ‘Silver Ring Thing’.
Further, even more surprising details can be found at the Ministry of Truth blog, including the fact that Denise Pfeiffer, a senior member of the Silver Ring Thing, and described variously as “Media consultant” or “Assistant national director” is in fact a Lingerie model.
A quick Google even turns up further stories that Denise Pfeiffer is an ex-convict, who lives with Clive Potter, who turns out to be the president of the British National Party’s trade union Solidarity.
Finally, it should be mentioned that Lydia only brought this case to court, after she had completed her exams (she is sixteen after all), so the whole event does seem to be something of a non-issue.
Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Sociology at 12:17 PM EDT
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Back in 2001, it was pointed out that men should wash up and take a bath before meeting women. To some guys, this was like finding the Holy Grail of pick-up, and so along with a bit of over-sensationalized sociobiology, and the revelation that guys should be confident and humorous around girls (which somehow nobody had ever worked out before then). A whole new system of meeting women was born!
Fast forward to the present day, and ‘The Times’ newspaper has got its resident Doctor, and some self-proclaimed Sex expert to come up with some equally mind-numbing ideas to Multiply your Romance (minus the pop-Psychology). I’ve repeated them here to save you the five easy monthly payments of $67. And I’m sure guys will be just as eager to study them.
- Men aren’t irresistible and not all women are desperate for sex. Good lovemaking starts long before you reach the bedroom, so before any date, have a bath. Everyone smells: some women like the smell of male sweat, others don’t, but no one likes the smell of stale sweat.
- Teeth are as important as the groin and armpits. Don’t forget to brush them after your bath. When kissing a girl, or even sitting close to her, she won’t want to smell your bad breath or notice salad between your teeth any more than she’ll want to smell yesterday’s sweat.
- Avoid a heavy meal before sex. Oysters and asparagus are assumed to be aphrodisiacs, but this is only because of visual or olfactory associations. Champagne is a better bet, but choose a less acidic one, lest exotic Kama Sutra-style acts cause indigestion.
- Be careful with drink. We all know drinking increases a man’s desire but decreases his ability, but not everyone realises it also affects a woman’s sexual response. More than two or three drinks and some women may be loving but physiologically limited.
- Any penile discharge or sore, however apparently trivial, means that sex is out. Chlamydia in the male may be almost symptom-free. It may show only as a mild inflammation of the end of the penis, so that the lips are stuck together in the morning.
- Always use a condom with a new partner, even if she seems as innocent as a nun. Regular partners should still have Chlamydia and blood tests.
- Men fear judgment, whether by colleagues in the office, team mates in the changing room or, above all, by a new girlfriend. Penis size can worry some men. Remember that someone’s penis always looks smaller to the owner than to an onlooker. Women may prefer a medium-size but thick penis but, if a lover is attentive, even if offering a button rather than a baton, it won’t matter.
- Don’t rush into sex and focus attention immediately on the genitalia. Take it slowly. Learn to massage. This can easily shade into great foreplay, especially if your partner is tired or stressed. Use plenty of lubrication.
- Make certain that your partner knows how attractive you find her by paying as much attention to kissing her, complimenting her and generally spoiling her. Don’t neglect the breasts and other erogenous zones.
- Both sexes have off days. Most men occasionally have poor or tardy erections and even fit, athletic, overenthusiastic men, as well as the inexperienced and anxious, may suffer premature ejaculation.
- There’s no substitute for excitement. The range of lubricants on the market can add slip and slide, but should never be used as a short cut.
- There’s more to sex than pushing the right button. Men have discovered that the key to female orgasm is clitoral stimulation, and many now rub the lamp rather than poking around inside it. The upside is that women are climaxing more often but the increase in emphasis on genital manipulation has made for some very mechanical sex. Going straight to the erogenous zones is the equivalent of fast forward. Men who focus on left breast, right breast, genitals, reduce their partner to a set of body parts.
- Though clitoral orgasm is easy to achieve, most women want to experience penetrative orgasm. Intercourse is the ultimate connection between man and woman and the sensation of fullness that it creates is intensely pleasurable.
- Women are slow burners. They take longer to become aroused and get as much pleasure, if not more, out of tenderness, kissing and cuddling. Though quickie sex has its place, for women on the whole, the longer sex takes, the better it feels. If arousal is allowed to build gradually, it floods the whole body rather than being confined to the genital area and a delayed orgasm is infinitely more powerful than an orgasm induced by five minutes of digital manipulation.
- Sexual gymnastics are often distracting. Chopping and changing positions and techniques can make a woman’s sexual excitement plummet.
- Thrusting for hours without climaxing doesn’t make you a stud muffin. It does make the vagina numb and sore.
- Don’t assume your partner is comfortable in her own skin. A survey of 3,500 British women, by the bathroom equipment company SHUC, found that one woman in ten feels so embarrassed about her body that she turns the lights out before taking off her clothes. The average woman still spends a lot of time every day beating herself up about her weight and looks. Nakedness increases that vulnerability, so be sensitive to her insecurities and, if you think that your partner looks great, for God’s sake tell her.
- Be polite. Never nudge your partner’s head towards your nether regions. During fellatio don’t thrust into your partner’s mouth, don’t hold the side of her head – and definitely warn her when you think you are going to come. With regard to orgasm, always operate a ladies-first policy.
- Put a little X in your sex. Watching steamy movies with your partner will increase the chance that you will have sex.
- Remember to take your socks off.
Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Biology at 1:25 AM EDT
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An intriguing review article[1] has just been published in the British Journal of Urology. Urologists Kevan Wylie of the Royal Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield and Ian Eardley of St. James’ Hospital in Leeds combined the results of more than 50 international research projects into penis size and small-penis syndrome conducted since 1942, and further debunked various sexual myths.
They brought together the results of twelve relevant studies that measured the penises of 11,531 men, and noted the average erect penis mostly ranged from 14 - 16cm (5.5″ - 6.2″) in length and 12 - 13cm (4.7″ - 5.1″) in circumference at mid-shaft.
Further, according to two studies included in the review, about ninety percent of women preferred a wide penis to a long one, and according to another study, eighty-five percent of women reported being satisfied with their partner’s penis size. Yet, many normal men suffer ‘small-penis syndrome‘ (a condition in which they believe their penis is too small — even though it isn’t) and only fifty-five percent of men felt their penis was big enough.
The research notes that small-penis syndrome is much more common among men with normal-sized penises than in those afflicted with a condition known as Micropenis (defined as a penis having a length of less than 7cm (2.75″) when erect), even though Micropenis is estimated to affect only about 0.6 percent of men.
Dr Wylie said:
It is very common for men to worry about the size of their penis and it is important that these concerns aren’t dismissed as this can heighten concerns and anxieties.
It is helpful to normalise the situation and provide as much accurate information as possible, as many men either lack any information or have been misinformed.
The initial approach should be a thorough urological, psychosexual, psychological and psychiatric assessment, possibly with more than one clinician involved.
Conservative approaches to therapy, based on education and self-awareness, as well as short-term structured psychotherapies, are often successful.
There is poorly-documented evidence to support the use of penile extenders, and while information is starting to emerge on the success of some surgical techniques, this is not backed up by data on patients’ satisfaction with such procedures.
The issue of attractiveness to women is complex, but most data suggests that penile size is much lower down the list of priorities for women than such issues as a man’s personality and external grooming.
Myths debunked
Some research studies have suggested that penis size is smaller in studies focussing on older men, but Wylie and Eardley found no overall differences, when they collated the results of all the studies together.
The evidence showed little evidence due to racial differences, with the exception of one Korean study where the men had smaller than average-sized penises; and here the authors point out that this area needs further investigation.
The review also supports recent studies that find penis-enlarging vacuum devices, penis extenders and traction devices rarely live up to their promises, but in some cases, provide a psychological benefit.
The authors also take a cautious view on the subject of penis-enlargement surgery; which can include almost everything from partially separating ligaments in the penis so it hangs further from the body to injecting fat into the penis to increase its girth.
While information is starting to emerge on the success of some surgical techniques, this is not backed up by data on patients’ satisfaction with such procedures.
However, there are some ancient tried-and-tested methods for penis enlargement, but these definitely aren’t recommended.
Indian Sadhus use weights to increase their penis length, while the Topamina tribe of Brazil encourage poisonous snakes to bite their penises to get a size increase that lasts about six months.
- Wylie, K. R., and I. Eardley, ‘Penile size and the ‘small penis syndrome’’, BJU International (2007), 99:6, 1449–1455
Posted by Jonathan as Art & Literature, Biology at 11:59 AM EDT
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It’s official (at least according to Men’s Health magazine). They surveyed their 40,000 readers worldwide, and it seems that Americans are having less sex, with fewer women, than the rest of the world.
Apparently foreign men have sex up to 70 more times a year than Americans. So, the magazine feels that its readers need a little help. They then go on to give out a few hints and tips. You can judge for yourself what their sexperts recommended…
England: Take Her, Outside
Hugh Grant has typecast British men as meek and bumbling. But according to a 2005 Durex survey of 317,000 people in 41 countries, these blokes are so irresistible; their partners can’t even wait to get back to the flat. Twice as many Brits as Americans report having had sex on public transportation and in alleyways and gardens. “Many a chap has fallen in love in the checkout line at the supermarket,” says Vicki Ford, a British psychosexual therapist and the author of Overcoming Sexual Problems. And apparently they consummate it on the way home.
Australia: Drive Her Wild
We Americans love our cars, but Australians love in their cars. Almost 75 percent of Aussies have had sex on the road, according to Durex. “We can always find a private space to get it on,” says Jan Hall, Ph.D., an Australian sex therapist. The car provides the ideal cover: “Sneaking away for a surreptitious shag or fondle says, ‘I can’t wait,’ ” says Gabrielle Morrissey, Ph.D., Australian author of A Year of Spicy Sex.
Romania: Play it Straight
Meeting women is easy, if you’re not sidetracked by insecurity (”Is she looking at me?”), coy games (”Have our waitress ask her waitress what she’s drinking”), or body-language interpretation (”Dude, her eyes say no, but the angle of her feet says olé!”). When Romanian men want a woman, they tell her. “The men here have a lot of self-confidence,” says Felicia Abaza, sex editor of Men’s Health Romania. “An
