Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider authored a book entitled “The Rules“, back in the mid-nineties. Just recently, they came to London to give seminars.

For anyone that has no clue about the scope of dating literature available; The Rules is ostensibly a training manual for women, that teaches them to act a certain way, and play mind games in order to pull a man.

Remarkably, The Rules doesn’t focus on self-improvement, and instead of telling women to get into shape, act like fun people instead of a grumpy bitches, show what positive values they can bring to a relationship, have a good personality and generally make themselves into better human beings, who will in turn attract better quality men; the authors actually tell women to stop returning phone calls and to believe that they are a ‘Creature unlike any other‘, all without any basis whatsoever.

Effectively, this means the authors are telling women that aren’t models or celebrities to become scarce, and to make men work to have sex with them. Now, this strategy just might work for the best women (although I figure those women don’t need to buy Dating books). However, no man besides a desperate man is going to put much effort into getting sex from a sub-prime woman. Furthermore, if a woman is only average and a guy accepts disrespect from her in order to have sex, guess what… she has a loser on her hands.

Thus, instead of explaining to women that they have some flaws and need to do more if they want to pull a man, they are just told to act the way the book says. The women will still be as confused as they were before, or just as unattractive as before they read the book – but now they are acting stuck-up, as if they deserve to act that way – as if men are queuing up to date them, and they are merely sifting out the great men from the good men.

It seems strange that women would go to such lengths to inhibit their own sexual desire for men, in order to trick them into marriage. And, searching for more information about ‘The Rules’ on the interweb seems to bring up the same list of complaints from women, time and time again.

Rules girls complain about:

• Not having “dates”
• Not getting attention from men
• Not having any conversations
• Not having men asking them out
• Not having men flirting with them

Then they go on to gripe that girls with no idea about The Rules have to ‘beat men off with a stick’… But, they still don’t realise why these other girls are so popular with men.

On the other hand, it’s interesting how guys assume that girls go out with them because they are attracted to them; while girls assume that guys go out with them because they want someone to spend time with. Both are incorrect assumptions.

What women don’t understand is that the only reason a guy goes out with a girl is because he wants to have sex with her. Perhaps Fein and Schneider seriously believe that if a guy is lonely, all he wants is a “date”. But if that were true, then there would be loads of really ugly, really fat, horrible personality girls with boyfriends and husbands. Rules girls fail to realize that men pick women for a reason, and then they are surprised when guys want good-night kisses, blowjobs or sex.

In all the reports of women’s dating experiences using The Rules, that I could find, not once did a girl say she was sexually attracted to a guy she went out with:

• He was a nice guy
• He was funny
• He was a co-worker
• He was her boss
• He was popular
• He was well read
• He had nice car
• He was good-looking (Nb. this had no bearing on her sex plans)
• He was tall
• He was a blind date
• He was recommended by a friend

So, perhaps it’s no wonder that Rules girls wait three dates to have sex. These girls don’t really want the guys they are dating. And the sex for them is irrelevant because they are really only interested in having power in the relationship; the “dates”, the attention from men, an ego-boost and some flirtation.

This of course is pathetic; in the long run a girl’s beauty will disappear. Good-looking women know that they will lose their looks sooner or later – they just believe that they have time to play games before that eventually happens. They also know that they get many benefits that unattractive girls (and guys for that matter) never get, such as free drinks and complimentary entry to nightclubs etc.

Once women realize that their “good life” is based on something that will eventually go away, they are usually ready to learn how to conduct themselves as human beings instead of Princesses. After all, any qualities that a woman might claim in her 30s are fringe benefits, as opposed to what she had when she was in her 20s – because all guys want youthful good looks and sex skills. If the girl doesn’t have those, there is no foundation to build a “relationship” on.

After all, why would anyone want an old, wise, intelligent, asexual woman?

• Because she is available?
• Because now she’s learned the value of a good man?

Throughout her whole “good-looking” life, she shunned good men because they weren’t attentive enough for her or didn’t make enough money for her… Too late now.

So, one obvious reason that girls adopt The Rules is that they’re sluts in the first place; it’s in their natures to have sex on the first date, and return guys phone calls immediately etc. The Rules then becomes a crutch to stop them being easy. In this case, if you know that a girl is following The Rules, then you know that as soon as she feels horny enough, she’ll break The Rules by her own choice. After all, girls that don’t have sex when they feel horny must be defective.

Now, in the same way that there’s no reason for a guy to marry a girl that he’s already having sex with all the time, there is no reason for a girl to have sex with a guy that is already “dating” her. She now has attention, time, money, listening and an ego-boost etc., but she may be hiding behind The Rules in order to act like she has power in the relationship. And she will have power in the relationship… If the guy is a desperate milquetoast that must get that one special girl, and is prepared to play her silly games.

Once you know how to bypass The Rules, these girls are back to being sluts again, because The Rules is like a series of on-off switches. If he does this that or the other, dump him! If he passes all the tests, he must be a good one… Green light! The guy is then given the moral right to shag her. But, as a bonus, he now knows that she is probably going to give the same tests to the next man, so she will most likely remain with him. Just like when a man is married, he gets all the benefits of having a personal slut, the Rules girl is now more a whore than if she hadn’t been using The Rules.

So, using The Rules trades the other things a woman would want in a relationship for power, because she believes that without that power, she is going to get fucked, used and dumped. Rules girls have given up on the traditional “dating scene” and decided to hand over femininity for a regimented lifestyle, just like in the military…

The reason girls are so concerned about looking like a slut is because they think that society gives a damn if they have lots of sex or not, as if it’s going to be on News at Ten. They also think that sex too soon makes them look like a whore to the man they want a relationship with, and that he dumped her because she spread her legs too soon. Maybe there are instances where the guy says “Damn, we had sex fast… I don’t want an easy girl,” but for the most part he dumped her because he had enough of her. All he wanted was to shag her once, and all that dating and romance was so he would have sex. Otherwise, he would have spent his time with the very intelligent and witty fat, ugly woman that lives over the road.

Here’s the summary:

1. Girl starts going out with a guy.
2. Guy says he wants a relationship.
3. The girl has sex because she believed what the guy said about wanting to be with her forever.
4. The guy either leaves after sex, or the girl is now a “bootie call” instead of a girlfriend.
5. This process repeats a few times until the girl gets depressed.
6. Girl goes to the self-help section of the bookshop and sees a book claiming to help her marry a guy and keep him forever.
7. Girl stops returning calls, acting natural and cuts herself off from having sex, because she wants to know that he needs to be with her forever before she gets intimate.
8. Girl destroys her own sexual life for a few years while becoming a jerk-magnet; since most men will say “Fuck you bitch!” when women act like they aren’t 50% responsible for the communication in a “Relationship”.
9. Girl continues to act like she never wanted sex ever before in her life, and certainly not now or from you!
10. Girl meets guy who knows about The Rules and knows that after the 4th date, they are going to have sex.
11. The man acts accordingly, and the woman spreads her legs for the first time in years.
12. The sex is good, and she is sure he is the one.
13. They have sex until he is bored of her and never returns her calls ever again.
14. Go to (G.)

You might also enjoy reading:-

• Why do women get used for sex and dumped?
• Why Men Should Maintain a ‘Horny’ Disposition, and How?
• Russian Women
• Why Do Women ‘Tease’?
• Keep doing what you’ve always done, keep getting what you’ve always gotten

Posted by Jonathan in Art & Literature, Philosophy

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