According to new research from Utrecht University, the rapidity of ejaculation in men is genetically determined.

Neuropsychiatrist, Dr Marcel Waldinger and Pharmacological Researcher Paddy Janssen studied 89 Dutch men who suffer from the primary form of premature ejaculation, in other words, men who always had this problem.

In their experiment, the female partners of the participants in the study used a stopwatch at home to measure the time until ejaculation, each time they had intercourse, over the course of a month. A control group of 92 men was also studied, and the results will be published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Dr Waldinger emphasises:

This study applies to men who have always ejaculated prematurely from their first sexual contact onwards and not for men who started suffering from this later on in life.

Serotonin deficiency.

In men who suffer from premature ejaculation, the substance serotonin appears to be less active between the nerves in the section of the brain that controls the ejaculation. Amongst other things, this substance is linked to sexual activity and appetite. It’s a substance that transfers a signal from one neuron to another. Due to the low activity of serotonin, this signal transfer does not occur properly in men with the primary form of premature ejaculation.

Gene responsible.

A gene which had already been discovered, namely 5-HTTLPR, appears to be responsible for the amount and activity of serotonin, which means that it controls the rapidity of ejaculation. Three types of the gene exist: LL, SL and SS. The study showed that the LL type causes a more rapid ejaculation. On average, men with LL ejaculate twice as quickly as men with SS, and also almost twice as quickly as men with SL. The researchers are currently also looking for other genes that are involved in ejaculation.

Not psychological.

As far back as 1998, researcher Marcel Waldinger predicted that both the rapidity with which men ejaculate and the primary form of premature ejaculation were genetically determined, explaining:

This theory contradicts the idea, which has been common for years, that the primary form of premature ejaculation is a psychological disorder. The results of our research confirm the genetic theory and may contribute to possible gene therapy against premature ejaculation.

Posted by Jonathan as Biochemistry, Biology at 3:36 AM BST

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A study by researchers at the University of California shows that women tend to speak with a higher tone of voice, when most fertile, making them more attractive to the opposite sex.

The researchers recorded the voice of 69 female undergraduates during two phases of their menstrual cycle. Once while their fertility was low, the other recording when they were near ovulation. When these women were closer to the period of egg release it was found that their voice tones were higher pitched. A finding which suggests sex hormones act on vocal chords to give off hidden signals about their fertility, that men might unconsciously identify.

But the difference was found only when women spoke a simple introductory sentence such as ‘Hi, I’m a student at UCLA’ and not for simple vowel sounds.

Although the changes are too subtle to identify in ordinary situations, experts believe that unlike other mammals there are no obvious signs to show that a woman is at her most fertile. However the biology of men lets them detect even subtle changes in the sex hormones of women; and previous studies have shown men had a greater affinity towards higher-pitched female voices, finding them far more attractive.

Lead author, Dr Greg Bryant, of the University of California, Los Angeles said:

Our study shows women change their voice in relation to fertility – and possibly only in social communication contexts. When speaking a simple introductory sentence women’s pitch increased during high – as compared with low – fertility and this difference was the greatest for women whose voices were recorded on the two highest fertility days within the fertile window – the two days just before ovulation.

The high versus low-fertility difference in pitch was associated with the approach of ovulation and not menstrual onset – thus representing the first research to show a specific cyclic fertility cue in the human voice. We interpret this finding as evidence of a fertility-related enhancement of femininity consistent with other research documenting attractiveness-related changes associated with ovulation.

These findings support previous studies that documented changes to body scents, flirtatious behaviour and style of dress that they believe are also used as clues to a woman’s fertility status.

It is feasible these changes in vocal femininity occur primarily or exclusively during social communicative tasks – raising the intriguing possibility cues of ovulation appear more during social interactions and could serve a communicative function. These results are consistent with other findings revealing women’s tendency during high fertility to accentuate sexually differentiated traits such as wearing fashionable clothing and preferring male masculinity.

Dr Bryant, whose findings are published in Biology Letters, said future research should explore contextual effects on vocal production in association with the ovulatory cycle.

He said: “Manipulations involving the presence of attractive others, speech content, and other stimuli before and during recording sessions might reveal systematic communicative signals – which in turn should be detectable and found attractive by judges.”

Posted by Jonathan as Psychology, Sociobiology at 1:41 AM BST

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 1. There is no remedy for sex, except more sex.

 2. Sex has no calories.

 3. Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.

 4. The more beautiful the woman who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

 5. Nothing improves with age.

 6. No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.

 7. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

 8. No sex with anyone in the same office.

 9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.

11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

12. Virginity can be cured.

13. When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.

16. Sex is dirty – only if it’s done right.

17. It is always the wrong time of month.

18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.

21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night – Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

22. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

23. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

24. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.

25. There may be some things better than sex and some things worse than sex. But there’s nothing exactly like sex.

26. Love your neighbour, but don’t get caught.

27. If the efforts that went into research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hotdog stands on the moon.

28. Love is a matter of Chemistry; sex is a matter of Physics.

29. Sex is a three letter word which needs some old-fashioned four letter words to convey its full meaning.

30. One good turn gets most of the blankets.

31. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

32. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

33. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

34. Thou shalt not commit adultery… unless in the mood.

35. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

36. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.

37. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

38. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

39. A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he doesn’t love her.

40. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

41. Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone.

42. Love comes in spurts.

43. The world does not revolve on an axis.

44. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

45. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

46. Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up.

47. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool, when they fall in love.

48. Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight.

49. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

Posted by Jonathan as humour at 10:25 AM BST

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No idea if these ‘laws’ have ever been repealed, or if we’re just continuing an urban legend here. Either way, they made me smile, and would certainly break the ice at parties.

• In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

• If a police officer in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, suspects a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.

• A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.

• In Ames Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.

• A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.

• A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weighs more than three pounds, two ounces.

• Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.

• Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.

• During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.

• In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.

• In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

• Hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, are required by law to furnish their rooms with twin beds only. There should be a minimum of two feet between the beds, and it is illegal for a couple to make love on the floor between the beds.

• In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city’s airport property.

• A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman’s name will be published in the local newspaper – The man does not receive any punishment.

• In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances (including the wedding night).

• In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.

• The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary position – Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

Posted by Jonathan as Miscellaneous at 9:29 PM BST

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How many e-mails does the Penis pill industry have to send me? “PR0VEN Program ENLARG your pen.is GAURANTEED!” they scream at me. “We absoIutèely suree, that GiirIs wi|1 be crazy abut you.“

I get hundreds of these e-mails a day, so the online penis pill people clearly know something about my penis that I don’t. Maybe the Human Genome Project has discovered a recessive penis gene?

But then, do you really want to orally ingest something made by a company that can’t hire a decent translator for their marketing department? I suspect that Quality Control might not be the top priority at the Penis pill factory.

Anyway, in researching this article, I’ve had to spend a lot of time scanning the Internet (Googling for “penis enlargement” currently returns 7.8 million results), checking the claims that these organizations make, and looking at hundreds of photos of deformed, misshapen penises. Surprisingly, these frightening specimens of manhood are meant to encourage you to buy the products…

I did find a remarkable coincidence; every single Penis enlargement company is “the best.” Every product is also “guaranteed,” and offers “permanent results.” After a few hours of browsing these sites, I had the impression that we must live in a world of men with microscopic organs that can only be located with the aid of a powerful microscope; whilst it would seem that women only want lovers with a todger like a baseball bat.

Many of these penis pill purveyors even go so far as to claim they’ll also give you “mind-blowing orgasms” and “improved sexual stamina,” in their sales pitches; as well as assertions of being able to make you feel more confident “in the Locker room”, and “triple the amount of semen you produce”.

But, it’s important to note that since the Penis enlargement quacks are usually busy badmouthing their competitor’s approaches (creams, pumps, exercises etc.) in favour of their own chosen ‘solution’, the net result is that all the advertisements cancel each another out.

So, it turns out there’s no such thing as a “pill” that will enlarge your penis. And, I suspect that just as few women are happy with their breasts, many guys are unhappy with their penises (which is probably why they beat them so often). Therefore, we wouldn’t receive so many of these “penis enlargement” e-mails every day, if there weren’t so many dejected guys buying these products.

What is the average penis size?

Do you really need a bigger penis? I don’t know about you, but none of my girlfriends have ever complained… And how big is the average penis anyway? The Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex, considered by many to be the authority on such matters, states that average penis size is between 5 and 7 inches when fully erect.

A more recent study by Lifestyles Condom Co., who claim they’ve carried out the largest and most accurate measure of penis size, puts the average at 5.877 inches (14.9 cm). They apparently obtained this figure by sending a team of Nurses to Cancun during the Spring break (I’m not making this up), and having them measure the erections of hundreds of partying college students, in exchange for some free condoms, T-shirts and other prizes. The same survey reported an average circumference, otherwise referred to as girth, of 4.972 inches (12.6 cm), and suggested that 75 percent of men were between 4.5 and 5.5 inches.

What about penis width?

In 2001, the University of Texas-Pan American, Department of Psychology produced a research paper entitled “Penis Size: Survey of female perceptions of sexual satisfaction“, you can download a copy here. In that research, fifty co-ed sluts sexually active female undergraduates were interviewed on whether length or width was the more important factor in sexual satisfaction.

The results of that study were that “None reported they did not know, or that width and length were equally satisfying“, making me quite sad that I didn’t go to the University of Texas-Pan American. A large majority, 45 of 50 sexually active female undergraduates interviewed, reported that width was more important. Even though you never hear women moaning “Give it to me wide; Give me more diameter.”

What’s the active ingredient in penis pills?

Looking at the ingredient lists for penis pills that I’ve found scattered round the net, it seems that there’s nothing much in them, aside from vitamins, minerals and herbs such as ‘Horny goat weed’ (Epimedium Sagittum), which I’m guessing is there more for it’s name than any potentially beneficial properties, because I can’t find any serious studies into the effects of this plant, other than a couple of references to unnamed Chinese doctors, and claims that it might have been a traditional medicine at some time.

Now, nobody would dispute that taking dietary supplements was good for your health, so long as you follow the recommended daily allowance. But then, if eating extra vitamins and minerals could really make parts of your body bigger, why don’t we see health conscious people complaining about unwanted enlargements from the pills they take?

Another thing left off the adverts for these medications, is the fact that the advice note with the pills instructs you to massage your penis every day; which, along with the placebo effect, seems like a rather more likely (and very inexpensive) way to make a penis bigger than consuming some sort of herbal remedy. Although I suspect that every man on the planet would have a penis the size of a baby’s arm holding an apple, if tugging for a few minutes really had any effect.

Is there any other way to enlarge your penis?

Here are the hard facts: Once you’re in bed with someone – who cares? You’ve just spent time getting to know someone, and now you’re going to have sex with them, so that person must care for you somewhat. You’re both feeling incredibly aroused, so even if your penis is way below the average, once you’re both naked, it’s highly improbable that any size issues would even be noticed.

You’re still too shy to take that chance? Then just make love with the light off, and nobody will ever have a chance to see how big you are. Get yourself a reputation for giving great oral sex, and the girl probably won’t even care about size.

What can a doctor do if you want a bigger penis?

Searching through medical notes and websites run by qualified people, it seems like not much:

• Topical treatments (creams) can somewhat enlarge the penis, but these only work before the onset of puberty, and even then, not in all cases.

• Vacuum pumps are sometimes used in treatment of erectile dysfunction, but they don’t significantly enlarge the penis, and the results aren’t permanent.

• Exercises such as stretching or suspending weights don’t work, and could even be harmful – The penis is not a muscle and can’t be enlarged through repeated stress (exercise) like muscles can.

• There is surgery which can cut through the ligature that suspends the penis and make it stick out farther from the body – so this isn’t really an enlargement.

• Other operations can increase the girth of the penis, by injecting body fat (or tissue from elsewhere in the body) under the skin of the penile shaft. (Although it’s important to note that surgery is expensive, and comes with all kinds of risks of side effects)

• Some Urologists have pointed out that overweight men can ‘increase’ the apparent length of their penises by losing weight, which will reduce the fatty ‘pad’ in their groin area.

• Similarly, male porn stars often shave their scrotal sack, to give the appearance of a longer shaft. While female porn stars are usually quite petite – both details which would create an illusion of larger relative penis size, to the viewers of the pornography.

• Finally, one Doctor succinctly commented that any man who thinks his penis is too small probably has a problem between his ears, and not between his legs.

Posted by Jonathan as Biochemistry, Psychology at 1:29 AM BST

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Unless a woman has decided to be very proactive, and starts actively approaching men, then she’s probably going to be relying on trying to being pretty, in order to attract men to her. Thus, if a woman is fat, or semi-fat, this is going to be more somewhat more difficult for her.

Fat people tend to fall into one of four categories. So, here are some tips for each type.

The Fearful Fat Person

Fear is the biggest cause of fatness in the world today. Fear has caused people by the hundreds of thousands to stop living and start eating.

When a Fearful fat person was growing up, she took that ridiculous adage ‘better safe than sorry’ and implanted it in her heart, where it grew and festered and turned her blood weak, her brain watery and her stomach bloated. Instead of actually living, which entails too many petrifying risks, a Fearful fat person eats a cream bun. Food is the only kind of adventure she permits herself, and it’s not pleasant to observe the lengths she will go to avoid any bigger challenge than consuming a Pepperoni pizza and strawberry milkshake, on an empty stomach.

Principal characteristics of the Fearful fat person:

• She’s taken out plenty of life insurance.
• She actually likes hors d’oeuvres and will, when arriving at a party, station herself next to the buffet table; where the constant consumption of chicken livers wrapped in bacon gives her a devil-may-care feeling and enables her to avoid talking to anyone.
• She hates her job. But she’s afraid to leave, because then she won’t the have money for all those life insurance premiums.
• When the Tea lady rings the bell at her office, the Fearful fat person goes running. She bites into a glutinous apple turnover and feels extremely secure – at one with the universe.
• She thinks it’s fine to come home after work and have several martinis and a box of chocolates in front of the TeeVee.
• She reads self-help books and listens to her elders.
• She has sporadic fits of self-loathing that prompt her to go on crazy crash diets, in which she is only allowed to eat pineapple. She doesn’t understand why these never work.
• She and her friends often get together to discuss the meals they’ve had recently.

Many a Fearful fat person used to be a normal person, but a life trauma of some sort, perhaps a painful love affair, has caused her to withdraw from the slings-and-arrows of daily living. However, everyone has the potential to change their life drastically, and should keep doing so until they get it right.

If you’re a Fearful fat person, you should probably leave home. If you won’t leave home, leave your job. If you won’t leave your job, leave your partner. Somewhere, some way, somehow, you have to start talking risks again. You’re going to die eventually anyway, at which point you’ll be as safe as houses.

The Angry Fat Person

The Angry fat person never got enough breast milk as a baby, and her unconscious is still furious about it.

“Fuck everyone, I’ll show them,” the Angry fat person thinks way down deep inside herself. “I’ll eat as much as I want, whenever I want, whatever I want, and no one can stop me!” The fact that no one has tried to stop her for 20 years doesn’t occur to her.

Since not getting enough to eat was the Angry fat person’s first experience, she translates any and all anger-provoking situations into food-depravation trauma. If she has a fight with her boss, she consumes a kilo of pasta to get back at him.

She also feels that she must reward herself when she’s been good, since none of those other bastards will. Sometimes she’s so good she consumes an entire chocolate cake.

Distinguishing characteristics of the Angry fat person:

• Instead of yelling at anyone, she eats.
• She’s positive that her life is tougher than anyone else’s.
• She’s still not speaking to her mother.
• She trusts no one, and cannot refrain from hiding food in the most unlikely places. There are macaroons in her filing cabinet, jars of chocolate spread in her underwear draw and meringues in her bathroom cabinet.
• She eats like a bird in public, then rushes home to hit the bathroom cabinet.
• She spends a lot of time in bed – the combination of unexpressed anger and constant sugar overdose keeps her in a state of chronic clinical depression.

If you suspect that you’re an Angry fat person, you have to practise expressing your fury, instead of eating it away. Every time you have the urge for a jam doughnut, take a hammer and smash the shit out of any pillows that happen to be around while you shout “Take that, you bastard!” Cry and scream at every available opportunity. Lie down on the floor and kick your feet and flail your arms and hold your breath until you think you may be turning blue. You’ll feel like a terrific fool, but you’ll start losing weight.

You may also want to equip yourself with a nice king-size baby bottle to suck at random moments. This will really tone up your jaw muscles (a great sexual asset). But do leave the bottle at home before going to any job interviews.

The Man-hating Fat Person

She’s frightened of sex and men, but won’t admit it. So she gets fat, figuring that the rolls of flesh falling from her thighs will keep those terrifying male creatures at bay.

The Man-hating fat person’s predominant characteristic is excessive bitterness. Some become radical feminists for all the wrong reasons. Then they stage fights with their sisters and retreat to the nearest delicatessen. Some become lesbians for all the wrong reasons and pick vicious fights with their lovers.

If you are a Man-hating fat person, you must delve deep into your psyche and try to figure out when it was that you first started despising men. Was it when your father threw you out the window? When your cousin Jack took off all your clothes and locked you in the cupboard? Then teach yourself, slowly but surely, to realise that all men won’t throw you out the window or lock you in a cupboard. Some of them will take you to the theatre instead.

The Bona Fide Fat Person

Some people are supposed to be fat, and that’s that. A Bona fide fat person is completely content with her lot. You can recognise her by the following characteristics:

• She wouldn’t give up asparagus with hollandaise sauce or chocolate mousse for anyone or anything.
• She’s a great dancer.
• She wears stylish sometimes almost flamboyant clothes and has no self-consciousness about her looks.
  • She never wears frills or puffy sleeves, because she knows that on a fat person they just look apologetic.
• She gets laid as often as any of us.
• Although she has a sharp sense of humour, she won’t make self-depreciating jokes.
• She likes to drink, and is appalled by the idea of stopping.
• Her self-confidence verges on the arrogant.
• The idea of exercise fills her with horror and dread. Exercise, she believes, is fine for the lower classes, but walking to the Newsagent to buy a paper is fine for the likes of her.
• Big is better than boring, she figures.

The interesting thing about the Bona fide fat person is that people hardly ever notice. Most fat people walk around wearing a hangdog expression, awful clothes, and refuse to dance at parties. Then, since some people are notoriously fond of feeling superior to anybody they can, an insecure fat person is a prime target for nasty jokes and malignant condescension. But a Bona fide fat person has no notion, won’t even tolerate the idea, that there’s anything wrong with her, which makes it impossible for people to patronize her.

Bona fide fat people are rare and refreshing. The only problem they face is becoming too fat, which will kill them.

Do you recognise yourself in any of the above? All of the above? Possibly not and possibly like 88 out of 100 women, you think you’re fat just to give yourself troubles.

Here’s how to tell if you’re fat or simply letting your girlish high spirits go mental on you. Take a walk down your local High Street. Make sure there are plenty of plate-glass windows in the vicinity. Stroll along, thinking of this and that, and then, when you’re least expecting it, shoot a quick glance in a particularly shiny window. Look away quickly and form a mental picture of what you saw. Are there any blimps in that mental picture? If so, are any of the blimps wearing a dress like yours?

Now, if you find that you’re still not happy with your size, you need to know that most diets don’t work, and are a waste of money. The only other answer is healthy eating and regular exercise.

Posted by Jonathan as Philosophy, Psychology at 2:46 AM BST

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According to the 2008 Australian Happiness Index – Rest, Relaxation and Entertainment are top of the list for both men and women – whilst quality time with a partner makes position number four, for both sexes.

However, that’s where the similarities end. Sex ranks at position number five, in making men happy, and surfing the internet tops even that, at position number three.

Sex and the internet were also top ten choices to make women happy, but enjoying a family meal and playing with pets or children ranked much higher.

Eating comfort foods also scored in the top ten for both sexes, but the more discerning men questioned said they preferred good food and wine or drinking with friends, instead of breaking out some chocolate.

Surprisingly, and despite urban myths to the contrary, shopping doesn’t make all women happy – only 30 percent were happiest when shopping for new clothes, shoes or accessories. Although unsurprisingly, just 14 percent of men were happiest when shopping.

One in two women said reading a good book made them happy, whereas less than one in three men said the same, and 36 percent of generous-natured women said buying gifts made them feel joyful, compared to a more miserly 19 percent of men.

The index was compiled by marketing consultants The Leading Edge, who spoke to more than 8,500 Australians aged between 18 and 64.

Leading Edge Managing Director Karen Phillips said:

Australians are made happy on a week-to-week basis, not by possessions and achievements, but by entertaining experiences and by meaningful interactions with others

The index was designed as a marketing tool to give businesses a better picture of their target customers.

Posted by Jonathan as Psychology, Sociology at 12:19 AM BST

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An intriguing article posted at PeopleJam suggests a number of similarities between picking up women and pitching a business to a Venture Capitalist.

I believe it’s intended to be a pick-up guide that Business people can understand, since the original author claims that it’s much harder (and for some scarier) to ‘sell’ yourself to a woman than a client.

Do you ever see that awesome girl with the fat, stupid guy who works as a toll booth collector? Yeah, me neither. Give your self an honest assessment – are you a 6 out of 10? No problem, you can go up or down 2 points. Go any lower and your friends will make fun of you, go any higher, and the object of your desire will. Please take ALL things into consideration when you rate yourself – make sure that the ones that are clearly apparent are weighted higher. Your height, good looks, broad shoulders, your nice car, etc.. are worth more. The fact that you are willing to see “Sex And The City” and you call your mother on Mother’s day weigh less.

2) Identify your market.

It’s easy to say I want to meet a hot girl, who is really smart, but you need to be a little more diligent (I’m serious). Are you looking for a good time? A girlfriend? A mother to your children? In business, no product is released without first identifying your target market. Once you identify yours, you need to…

3) Ensure that your strengths/weaknesses and your target market are aligned.

This is more then just aiming at the right ‘level’. This is about ensuring that what you bring to the table (and what you don’t) falls into the desires of your target market. A great salesman always likes to say that he can sell ice to an Eskimo. Well let’s add to that. A good salesman can sell ice to an Eskimo, ONCE. The next time the Eskimo is going to be pissed off. Why not sell something the Eskimo actually wants? Another way to say it – why make your job more difficult by selling something that the other party doesn’t want or need?

4) Location, location, location.

People say this about restaurants, but it’s also true about finding women. Assuming you have 1-3 understood and identified; if you are a 24 year old Adonis who wants to find a wife, DON’T try to pick up girls at a club. You might have success if you’re looking for a good time, but you’ll be disappointed by the type of girl you find (no disrespect to club-girls – we all love you). Conversely, if you aren’t all that good looking/cool but have a great personality, stay away from clubs where your ‘inner-beauty’ can’t exactly shine.

5) Focus.

Let’s stay with the club location. If you’re looking for a wife, don’t hit on the girl dancing on the table (I am not suggesting that girls who dance on a table at a club won’t get married – BUT they PROBABLY aren’t thinking of finding their husband that night). It’s okay NOT to hit on every girl you see. A friend once said to me that his goal was to hit on a 100 girls a night because 1 would say yes. People, this is NOT email marketing or banner adds on Facebook. This is human interaction – speak to people who’ll actually enjoy speaking to you.

6) Rejection is irrelevant.

My first job out of college was selling office supplies in NYC. I picked a building, went to the top, and worked my way down. You know those signs that say “No Soliciting” outside of commercial buildings – that was to keep me out. A good day for me was 100 doors, 5 hellos, 1 order and 3 business cards. The first week my spirit was crushed – by the 3rd, it didn’t faze me and by the 3rd month I looked forward to ‘rejection’ because it was just another opportunity to sell. DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND – I am not suggesting you defocus (see #5) what I am suggesting is that a girl you approach is NOT rejecting YOU, she is saying no to your pitch. Refine the pitch (look into the 4 P’s of marketing) and try again.

Posted by Jonathan as Miscellaneous at 1:01 AM BST

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