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October 23rd, 2008

A classic literary seduction

To quote the Poet and Philosopher, George Santayana:

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

We agree; and there are often lessons to be learned from historic works. Thus, in the play ‘Love for Love’, by William Congreve (1670-1729), Miss Prue has yet to learn how to feign the indifference which allows more experienced practitioners of modern love a route to pleasure, whilst maintaining an appearance of honour.

So, in this short extract, you can see that Miss Prue’s high spirits inadvertently reveal the absurdity of the Seducer Tattle’s formulaic tuition in the art of seduction.


(Mrs Foresight and her friend have left the Seducer Tattle alone with the former’s ward, the country girl Miss Prue.)

Tattle: I must make love to you, pretty Miss; will you let me make love to you?

Miss Prue: Yes, if you please.

Tattle: [Aside] Frank, egad, at least. What a pox does Mrs Foresight mean by this civility? Is it to make a fool of me? Or does she leave us together out of good morality, and do as she would be done by? Gad, I’ll understand it so.

Miss Prue: Well; and how will you make love to me? Come, I long to have you begin. Must I make love too? You must tell me how.

Tattle: You must let me speak, Miss, you must not speak first. I must ask you questions, and you must answer.

Miss Prue: What, is it like the catechism? Come then, ask me.

Tattle: D’ye think you can love me?

Miss Prue: Yes.

Tattle: Pooh, pox, you must not say yes already. I shan’t care a farthing for you then in a twinkling.

Miss Prue: What must I say then?

Tattle: Why you must say no, or you believe not, or you can’t tell.

Miss Prue: Why, must I tell a lie then?

Tattle: Yes, if you’d be well-bred. All well-bred persons lie. Besides, you are a woman, you must never speak what you think. Your words must contradict your thoughts, but your actions may contradict your words. So when I ask you if you can love me, you must say no, but you must love me too. If I tell you you are handsome, you must deny it, and say I flatter you. But you must think yourself more charming than I speak you, and like me, for the beauty which I say you have, as much as if I had it myself. If I ask you to kiss me, you must be angry, but you must not refuse me. If I ask you for more, you must be more angry, but more complying. And as soon as ever I make you say you’ll cry out, you must be sure to hold your tongue.

Miss Prue: O Lord, I swear this is pure. I like it better than our old-fashioned country way of speaking one’s mind. And must not you lie too?

Tattle: Hum – yes. But you must believe I speak truth.

Miss Prue: O Gemini! Well, I always had a great mind to tell lies; but they frightened me, and said it was a sin.

Tattle: Well, my pretty creature; will you make me happy by giving me a kiss?

Miss Prue: No, indeed; I’m angry at you. [Runs and kisses him.]

Tattle: Hold, hold, that’s pretty well, but you should not have given it me, but have suffered me to have taken it.

Miss Prue: Well, we’ll do it again.

Tattle: With all my heart. Now then, my little angel. [Kisses her.]

Miss Prue: Pish.

Tattle: That’s right. Again, my charmer. [Kisses again.]

Miss Prue: O fie, nay, now I can’t abide you.

Tattle: Admirable! That was as well as if you had been born and bred in Covent-Garden all the days of your life. And won’t you shew me, pretty miss, where your bed-chamber is?

Miss Prue: No, indeed won’t I. But I’ll run there, and hide myself from you behind the curtains.

Tattle: I’ll follow you.

Miss Prue: Ah, but I’ll hold the door with both hands and be angry – and you shall push me down before you come in.

Tattle: No, I’ll come in first, and push you down afterwards.

Miss Prue: Will you? Then I’ll be more angry and more complying.

Tattle: Then I’ll make you cry out.

Miss Prue: Oh, but you shan’t, for I’ll hold my tongue.

Tattle: O my dear apt scholar!

Miss Prue: Well, now I’ll run and make more haste than you.
(Exit Miss Prue.)

Tattle: You shall not fly so fast, as I’ll pursue.
(Exit after her.)

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Posted by Jonathan in Art & Literature

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