As mentioned previously, many seducers could use some additional help coping with stress and relaxing.
Although in all probability, it doesn’t matter whether you have a highly strung boss, or a lack of choices when talking to attractive strangers - The following commonsense hints and tips should be of some use in managing your stress levels.
1. Learn how to say ‘No’.
Very simple, but very effective - Where a ‘No’ is the appropriate response - say it without guilt.
2. If you’re ill, rest.
Don’t carry on regardless. Working will tire your body and prolong your illness. So recognise that you have limits, and don’t carry on as if you were firing on all cylinders.
3. Get enough sleep.
Sleep is essential for the body to function properly. And sleeping pills shouldn’t be necessary with the right life-style. If you’ve habitually skimped on sleep, you probably won’t even remember how it feels to wake up fully rested. Give it a go for a week and see if there’s a reduction in stress, and a difference in how well you perform during the day.
4. Listen to your body.
When you’re tired, hungry or thirsty, do something about it. Also, recognise stress, anxiety and anger in your day and counter it immediately with a brisk walk, ten minutes of a visualisation exercise, some deep relaxation or whatever else works best for you.
5. Avoid nicotine and caffeine.
These are stimulants, so they won’t calm you down. If you’re feeling stressed, steer clear of them and keep yourself well-hydrated by drinking water or fruit juice instead.
6. Fight off stress with physical activity.
Pressure or anger releases Adrenaline and other stress hormones in the body. Sports and physical exercise helps to reduce this, and produces ‘good mood’ chemicals in the brain. So go for a brisk walk around the block when you feel tense, or try some regular sport or exercise after work.
7. Agree with people once in a while.
Life shouldn’t be a constant battle, and conflict is often due to someone feeling defensive out of fear of losing face. People sometimes set goals for how others should treat them, and then rigidly expect that others will fulfil those expectations. However, this rarely produces satisfaction, because others also have an agenda for their own rigid goals. So even if you disagree with someone, you can avoid this impasse by agreeing with them, helping them reach their own goals, or just keeping quiet if that person is quite unpalatable. Remember, idiots only have status if you grant it to them.
8. Learn to accept what you cannot change.
Saint Francis of Assisi’s famous prayer asks for “the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”. This philosophy will help you avoid unhappiness, cynicism and bitterness; all of which will help you combat stress.
9. Manage your time.
Take one thing at a time, and don’t overdo it. Create time buffers to deal with unexpected emergencies, and tackle them with a system that works for you.
One very simple method is:
- List the things that you need to do
- Put them in order of importance
- Decide what you need to do yourself, and what can be delegated
- Decide which need doing today, next week or next month
- Decide what doesn’t need doing after all, and then drop it from the list
Your mountain of tasks is now in some sort of order, and could even be a bit smaller, which should help. These things might have controlled you before, but now you control them. And therefore you’ve lost any stress they used to cause you.
10. Think up a self-affirming mantra.
Suggestions could be ‘I have a choice in every situation’ or ‘I deserve calm in my life’. Repeat your mantra to yourself whenever you feel tense.
11. Relax with a stress-reduction technique.
Try self-hypnosis - it’s very easy and can be done almost anywhere.
12. Try a very simple visualisation exercise.
- Find a quiet spot where you won’t be interrupted for a few minutes.
- Just shut your eyes for a moment, and imagine what your life will be like when you’re able to live it in the way you’d like to.
- See, hear and feel what that is like.
- See yourself getting everything done in a relaxed way. Notice the way you’re sitting, standing or moving, then observe how calmly you’re interacting with people, and the positive way in which they’re responding to you.
- Hear the sound of your voice as you talk to people, and notice how it’s different from the way you tend to talk now.
- Listen to how people are talking to you and the kind of things that they’re saying.
- Feel what all of that is like, and enjoy the feeling.
- Perhaps you’ll see yourself having some time for new activities in your life (or some old ones that you haven’t done for a while) see and hear yourself doing them, and feel good.
- Take all the time you need, and allow yourself to enjoy the exercise.
Posted by Jonathan in Philosophy, Psychology