I discovered an interesting guide to stopping a girl’s aversion to blowjobs from ruining your relationship, recently.

Much of the preliminary information should be completely obvious to people with even the tiniest amount of seduction experience (smelling clean, being hygienic and not appearing overly hirsute etc.) But, I felt that a quick write-up of the main themes, as well as adding a few extra ideas, would be a worthwhile article. I also omitted the original comments to resort to begging and pleading, when you don’t get your way, since this is always counterproductive.

As with so many other aspects of seduction, much of the advice seems to boil down to adequate communication, willingness to talk, persistence and compromise where appropriate. The original guide points out that everyone isn’t into oral sex: There could be one reason for this and there could be more, therefore – you may find out what the reasons are, and then you might not. So, just be respectful, and don’t force people to do things that they aren’t comfortable with.

She doesn’t want semen in her mouth
So, don’t come in her mouth! Promise not to, and keep to your word. If you decide to “accidentally” surprise her and forget to pull away or give warning, then her blowjob hang-ups are going to become blowjob rejections. If she does want to try it, she will tell you – in no uncertain terms.

She doesn’t like the taste of semen
Your diet can affect the taste of semen, so if she’s not completely against having you cum in her mouth, then it’s possible that altering your diet may have beneficial effects. Eating additional pineapple and celery is a good choice to start with; then try some experimentation with the girl, she may be curious to find out what else works well for her, next time she blows you.

Lack of reciprocation
Many men are lazy, ignorant, brainless idiots that give the rest of the male population a bad reputation. So, go down on her, and do a good job of it! If you aren’t giving her a fun time sexually, then what’s her motivation to reciprocate?

Feeling physically unprepared
It might not be the right time: She may have a dry mouth, cracked lips, be unclean, or physically unprepared to give you a blowjob for whatever reason. In this case, she’ll blow you when she’s ready. Encourage her, be patient and you’ll get it soon enough.

Fear of gagging
In this case, just keep still and let her manipulate you as she sees fit. You can give directions if you want, but just stay still and she’ll find her way. She needs to trust that you’re going to let her work at her own pace and not jam her head down. You may have to live with the fact that she just has a sensitive gag reflex and therefore can’t deep throat you. Don’t force it or you’ll just make her more resistant to trying; and be careful about how you place your hands on her head (assuming she wants you to) while resisting the urge to thrust, as this may cause her to gag.

Procrastination
Sometimes women can be just as lazy as men, so if you’re sure she’s dragging her feet then let her know that the holiday is over. Her last boyfriend might have been a lethargic, clueless fool, but you want more lusty action. If necessary, withhold some emotional experience that she enjoys, so that you encourage a prompt response from her.

Feeling inadequate
If the hang-up is feeling inadequate, it could be that she is inexperienced, or was told she gave awful blowjobs at some point in the past; she could fear failing again and thus be scared to try. Encourage her with moans and gentle directions, and she’ll soon be more confident. Don’t laugh, sneer or say negative things (even if the blowjob is poor) – she’ll get better with practise.

Fear of being judged (religious or otherwise)
This sort of hang-up can be tricky to overcome. The church and many other organisations are almost completely against sexual activity, and she may have been indoctrinated that “Oral sex is a sin”, “Sex is bad” or “Genitals are dirty”.

Each person has a belief system, which may or may not be easy to change. The simplest way to work round this is to talk about things openly and honestly; discuss the logic of her beliefs, how they came about and how other belief systems differ. Having a frank, open (yet still respectful) discussion about things can bring about a change in thinking.

Her blowjob hang-ups could be religiously based, in which case they may be much harder to change or overcome, since they will have been instilled at a very early age, so here more effective communication is the key to breaking through. Just don’t pressure her, as this will only create resistance.

Previous trauma
It’s possible that your partner was abused by some macho dunderhead in the past; she may have some significant issues with sex, trust or men in general. Sorting these problems out with the help of therapy will aid the situation immensely, and she will need love and support from you, in the interim. In this case, it’s not just an issue with sex; it’s an issue with her life and self esteem.

If your lover just had a bad experience with someone, who did something stupid like “head-jamming” (having her head grabbed and pushed down till she gags), then she may be reluctant to engage in oral sex for fear of a repeat performance. This is easier to deal with, since after you’ve used some persuasion and encouragement, she may just give it another go. However, she will need to trust you more, so work on building up her faith in you, and help her let go of her blowjob hang-ups.

Take things slowly, and give her enthusiastic feedback.

You might also enjoy reading:-

• What makes oral sex so appealing?
• Advice from a man: 40 ways women fail in bed
• Manipulation: Sleight of Mouth
• Just how far will Porn actresses go?
• Advice from a woman: 40 ways men fail in bed

Posted by Jonathan in Psychology, Sociology

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