A Chilean hooker has auctioned 27 hours of her services to raise money for the country’s largest charity, during an annual fund-raising campaign for “poor disabled children.”

María Carolina (25) became an overnight celebrity, and the country’s most famous prostitute, making news headlines and appearing on talk shows. Her unusual donation has been sold off in 90 minute blocks to be collected during the event, Teletón, which runs from November 30th to December 1st.

Tart with a heart, María Carolina said:

I will work during the time that the program lasts in order to earn money for the children of the Teletón, and then deposit it in the bank. They will be my own 27 hours of love.

Teletón’s long-time host, Mario Kreutzberger, (a.k.a. Don Francisco), was ambivalent. “Everyone can do what they want, but if someone tells me that they’ll do something immoral [...] I’m not going to encourage it,” he was quoted as saying. But, since prostitution is legal in Chile, the organisers will be accepting Carolina’s pledge.

María Carolina claimed she’d already auctioned off the 27 hours of love, raising about $4,000, and explained: “One of my clients already paid. It seemed like a good deed to him.” She further defended her contribution, pointing out:

There are people who are going to be donating money that’s a lot more questionable than mine, the only thing I did was publicize it.

Posted by Jonathan as Miscellaneous at 10:08 PM GMT

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Sometimes conversations run dry; and most certainly there are people who are happier to listen than talk. This is no criticism of those people, since they are often the sorts who are intelligent, think carefully and don’t make erratic, random or undependable commitments. However, in the situation where one is left groping for conversation topics, it’s possible to borrow a trick or two from the arsenal of Magicians and Psychic charlatans.

Cold reading is the skill behind the majority of psychic readings, including tarot, astrology, clairvoyance, psychometry, crystal ball gazing, iridology, aura reading and other varieties of mediumship that involve ‘reading’ of some kind. It’s a skill that’s even been used by some Salespeople, to gather ‘hot button’ information about their intended target, before making a tailored and very personal sales pitch.

The process typically begins with a very careful observation of the person you’re talking to, and is supplemented by statistical information concerning the commonalties of human nature. For example, one would typically start with a very general and often quite vague statement, something which would most likely be true of just about anyone.

From this point, verbal and visual feedback from the person can be used to pursue the accurate statements, whilst quickly abandoning the dead ends (people usually forget the misses, but remember the hits as these tend to stick in the mind), and then refining the initial guesses to form an increasingly accurate conclusion. Thus, in the hands of an experienced expert, the techniques can be astonishingly successful, to the point where a credulous person might be persuaded that such things as psychic phenomena actually exist.

From a Seducer’s point of view, there is no need to go to the lengths of a Vaudeville performance or impersonating Derek Acorah, since all we are trying to do is spark some interest into an otherwise stilted conversation. One or two quick and simple comments should be all it takes to stir-up a new conversational thread; then one can either choose to claim the statements as being anything from sharp observation, through to putting on a fake psychic show (although that might be more appropriate to birthday party entertainment) or simply using the opportunity to spin a conversation in a completely new direction.

One of the most useful books on Cold reading is Herb Dewey and Thomas K. Saville’s excellent “Red Hot Cold Reading”. This book contains a very helpful list of statements that might be useful to a beginning Cold reader, and which I have extracted and reproduced below. The book, unfortunately, is long out of print; but should you chance upon a copy somewhere, it is well worth studying.

Ideas useful to the Seducer cum Cold reader:

• Everybody has at one time or another had a premonition about something. Many have had a premonition about an impending disaster or death.
• A great number of people have experienced an Out-of-the-Body experience. Astral travel, or at least know someone who has.
• Women in shopping malls spend almost as much time studying other women as they do the window. Men likewise study other women.
• About 80% of the women who are asked what animal they would turn into reply “Cat”.
• Most women feel they are intuitive and would like to develop that ability.
• Purple and blue are significant colours for most women. They often have or are contemplating purchasing something of that colour. Especially strong when they may be wearing brown.
• Most people feel they are resourceful, and could make it by themselves if stranded on a tropical island.
• Most women have had the thought “what if I had twins?”
• Most people, especially females, had an imaginary playmate.
• Nearly everyone has – perhaps during adolescence – thought about suicide.
• People fear rejection, are afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing.
• 80% of all females wear or have worn gold chains.
• Don’t forget the scar on the left knee.
• Tall thin people are likely to have back problems.
• Light complexioned individuals with freckles, especially with blue eyes, sunburn rather than tan.
• Most light-complexioned people have red highlights in their hair.
• Young girls usually think about nursing and teaching. Young boys think about becoming an animal trainer.
• Nearly every adult has lost someone close to them, separated by death, divorce.
• Mature women seem to like to visit flea markets, like handmade items rather than machine-made, may make things themselves, and spoil their grandchildren.
• Older men dislike grocery shopping, and fear being “just a meal ticket.”
• It is common for people to agree that they had some difficulty relating to their father, especially during adolescence.
• People avoid getting into things they don’t understand.
• Most have some difficulty dealing with authority.
• 78% of adults have aches or problems associated with their feet, more for women who wear high-heeled shoes.
• When we were young, mothers tended to be open and treat us like little adults.
• Were romantic, wrote prose or poetry of a romantic nature in high school.
• Had great dream about what they would do after graduation that was not fulfilled.
• Respond favourably to all Self-serving Bias statements.
• Feel reassured and positive when told they have outgrown hurts, needs for or overcoming self-limiting behaviours.
• Most people at one time or another in their life are told they have too many teeth in their mouth by their dentist.
• Most women own lots of shoes – when they buy a new pair they seldom discard the old.
• Most women are never totally pleased with the way their hair looks.
• Most women at one time or another have owned a black nightgown.
• Most women feel they are better kissers than their husbands or boy friends.
• Most women remember having long hair as a child.
• Most women like the smell of a pipe – and dislike cigars.
• Most women dislike freckles.
• Most women have had their ears pierced as teenagers.
• Most men fear baldness.
• Most men have a key that they have forgotten where it goes.
• Most women have attempted writing poetry as a teen.
• Most women will stop at a gas station for directions – men won’t.
• Most women get cold feet in bed.
• Most people feel they have untapped artistic potential.
• Most women dislike kissing a man with a moustache.
• Most women – given a choice – would believe in palmistry over astrology, tarot cards, numerology, and tea leaves.
• Most people fear rejection.
• Most women over 30 wear one-piece bathing suits.
• Most people prefer gold jewellery to silver.
• Most red-haired people get hay fever in the summer.
• Most women like blue-eyed males over brown.
• Most women pick out their husband’s shirts and ties.
• Most people have one leg longer than the other.
• Most women have one breast larger than the other.
• Most people feel they married too young.
• Most men fear an IRS audit.
• Most women prefer cats as pets.
• Most men prefer large dogs as pets.
• Most people have had at least one memorable sunburn.
• Most women would not go hunting.
• Most women feel they are not photogenic.
• Most women enjoy reading books written by women.
• Most men enjoy reading books written by men.
• Most women prefer baths.
• Most men prefer showers.
• Most people dislike Monday.
• Most people love Friday.
• Most people feel they are underpaid.
• Most women after losing an earring hold onto the mate – sometimes for years.
• Most women snore but don’t believe they do.
• Most women believe they were a man in previous life.
• Most elderly women have an unopened box of lace handkerchiefs at home.
• Most men have an unopened bottle of aftershave in the bathroom.
• Most women dislike men who wear white socks.
• Most people have wondered what their purpose is in life.
• Most men do not wear hats.
• Most people have seriously thought of buying a waterbed.
• Most older men are veterans.
• Most people that sit up front at a performance are the easiest to get to volunteer.
• Most people have post nasal drip first thing in the morning.
• Most women say they dream in colour.
• Most women feel they need more iron in their diet.
• Most men prefer women in dresses rather than skirts, blouses, or pant suits.
• Most men prefer women with long hair.
• Most people believe that they have an identical twin somewhere in the world.
• Most men believe they cannot be hypnotized.
• Most people have suffered an unrequited love.
• Most people remember the good old days – not the bad old days.
• Most people have at lease one broken watch at home.
• Most women handle the family budget.
• Most women see themselves as incurable romantics.
• Most women have had stronger attachments to their grandfather than their grandmother.
• Most older men have come close to dying once in their lives.
• Most people, as children, believed they would not live beyond a certain age.
• Most attractive women dislike being called cute.
• Most women have an overweight girl friend.
• Most women are better dancers than men.
• Most tall women feel their feet are too big.
• Most women have their mother’s eyes.
• Most people would say that spring is their favourite season.
• Most men prefer king-size beds.
• Most women at one time or another have been told they have bedroom eyes.
• Most people over 40 that don’t wear glasses wear contact lenses.
• Most men like their present job.
• Most men who smoke pipes are very deep thinkers.
• Most women have looked at a Playboy Magazine.
• Most women when they are being photographed feel they have a good side and a bad side.
• Most people who smoke cigarettes have tried giving them up many times.
• Most short people are outspoken.
• Most people sleep on their sides, not on their backs.
• Most people can wake up one minute before the alarm goes off.
• Most older people dislike driving at night.
• Most women as children kept a diary.
• Most people have at least one ticklish spot on their body.
• Most women that wear black are weight conscious.
• Most women that wear hats consider themselves fashionable.
• Most women do not send as many Christmas cards as they used to.

Posted by Jonathan as Psychology, Sociology at 3:57 PM GMT

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Do you want to be rich, but you’re too idle to get a job? Are you arrogant and lack respect for the rest of the world? Do you never admit to being wrong? Think you’re superior, and know more than everyone else?

If you answered ‘yes’ to all these question, then congratulations, you could start a brand new career as a Seduction expert.

It’s easy peasy too… Just take some simple occurrence and then hard sell it to all us brainless imbeciles on the Internet. Maybe you could eulogise how important it is to wash and not smell like a camel, when people go out looking for someone to seduce. Perhaps you could invent talking to people in pubs / bars, and then sell us your discoveries. Five minutes of deliberation will get you a lifetime of paycheques.

So, here’s a sample sales letter you can adopt and adapt to start your new business, guaranteed to lure in loads of victims customers.

———————————– Page Top ———————————–

<Insert retarded pseudonym here> presents:

SOME LAME SEDUCTION PRODUCT!!

Here is an image of my name typed in a handwriting font, so it looks like a signature.

Here is a photo of a happy looking guy, wearing fetish clothing.

Dear Friend,

———————– FOLD (never write above the fold) ———————-

My name is <Insert retarded pseudonym here> and I profess to being a Seduction master. I have had more sex in a week than you will have in your life, using MY system that only I know, but I’ll give you the chance to have this system all for yourself, right after I’ve shown you this:

Here are some testimonials written by my friends.

Here are some stock photos.

Again, I will profess to being an expert, and tell you about the girl I fucked, within hours of inventing this system.

And we’ll have some more stock photos.

Hang on, I was wrong, I said I shagged a girl…

Sorry, but it was three girls!! Ooops, aren’t I silly?!?

Here’s some randomised text that will baffle you a little and make you half forget that you’re reading this with a view to buying anything. I’ll tell you about how I was ‘an ordinary bloke’ who worked in a shop, or did something in an office, just like you. Then I’ll tell you about how my system got me loving from all the fittest supermodels, and how Hugh Hefner now asks me for advice!!

Don’t you feel like you’ve always known me?

Here’s some text that makes you half believe that this product will be free.

Here’s some Photoshopped image of a little black book, brimming with numbers I allegedly obtained last week.

Here’s a stock photo of a model, in a car that I claim to own.

Here’s a stock image of four models, next to a beach house.

Have some more text, maybe even a couple of questions regarding the reader’s wishes towards a rich and fulfilling sex life.

And some more testimonials, with yet more stock photos.

BLAM, here’s the price, near the bottom.

Wow, sounds a lot doesn’t it? But just look at the stock photo of the girl again, and one of those four models at a different angle, just to make her look a bit more real.

And now take another peek at the happy looking guy wearing fetish clothes, I’ve Photoshopped in a really nice looking woman in her mid-twenties so I look like I’ve got a girlfriend. Look closely, you can even see the joins.

Possibly my friend’s stock photos and some more testimonials.

So hand over your money now!

———————————– PAGE END ———————————–

Posted by Jonathan as humour at 4:32 PM GMT

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According to the Principle of Scarcity, people assign more value to opportunities when they are less available. The use of this principle for profit can be seen in such techniques as the “limited number” and “deadline” tactics, wherein practitioners try to convince us that access to what they are offering is restricted by amount or time.

The scarcity principle holds for two reasons:

1. Things that are difficult to attain are typically more valuable, the availability of an item or experience can serve as a shortcut cue to its quality.

2. As things become less accessible, we lose freedoms.

According to psychological reactance theory, people respond to the loss of freedoms by wanting to have them (along with the goods and services connected to them) more than before.

As a motivator, psychological reactance is present throughout the great majority of the life span. However, it is especially evident at a pair of ages: “the terrible twos” and the teenage years. Both of these periods are characterized by an emerging sense of individuality, which brings to prominence such issues as control, rights, and freedom. Consequently, individuals at these ages are especially sensitive to restrictions.

In addition to its effect on the valuation of commodities, the Principle of Scarcity also applies to the way that information is evaluated. Research indicates that the act of limiting access to a message causes individuals to want to receive it more and to become more favourable to it. The latter of these findings – that limited information is more persuasive – seems the more surprising. In the case of censorship, this effect occurs even when the message has not been received. When a message has been received, it is more effective if it is perceived as consisting of exclusive information.

The scarcity principle is more likely to hold true under two optimizing conditions:

1. Scarce items are heightened in value when they are newly scarce. That is, we value those things that have become recently restricted more than those than those that were restricted all along have.

2. We are most attracted to scarce resources when we compete with others for them.

It is difficult to steel ourselves cognitively against scarcity pressures because they have an emotion-arousing quality that makes thinking difficult. In defence, we might try to be alert to a rush of arousal in situations involving scarcity. Once alerted, we can take steps to calm the arousal and assess the merits of the opportunity in terms of why we want it.

Posted by Jonathan as Psychology at 1:00 AM GMT

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A new study, conducted by Kathryn Paige Harden, a Ph.D. candidate in clinical psychology at the University of Virginia, contradicts earlier research reports and various concerns that teenage sex is emotionally and psychologically unhealthy, leads to drug use, criminality, antisocial behaviour and emotional problems.

The paper, ‘Rethinking timing of first sex and delinquency’, which was recently published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence, examined 534 same-sex twin pairs; using data mined from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, a nationally representative study (of the United States) designed to assess adolescent health and risk behaviour. That data was gleaned from extensive surveys of teenagers, and collected in three waves between 1994 and 2002. Thus, by examining the activities of twins, the investigators were able to eliminate genetic and socio-economic variables that might otherwise influence teen behaviours.

The study reports that teens who engage in sex are more likely to develop stronger relationships in adulthood and that early sex does not lead to delinquent behaviour. This contradicts studies and analogies that had been conducted earlier; for example, researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, reported in February 2007 that a large percentage of girls who engage in sex in their teen years, later feel ashamed and used. Psychologist David Walsh even went so far as to claim that early sex distorts one’s perception of what a relationship really is, making relationships seem purely physical, and thus making it impossible to have long lasting, trusting, communicative relationships in adulthood.

Harden claims that her studies showed that teens have better relationships in their adult years when they engage in sex early, contrary to commonly held notions that teen sex is psychologically unhealthy.

Kathryn Paige Harden said:

We got a very surprising finding, particularly that early sex seems to forecast less antisocial behavior a few years later, rather than more, there is a cultural assumption in the United States that if teens have sex early it is somehow bad for their psychological health, but we actually found that teens who had sex earlier seem to have better relationships later. Now we want to find out why.

In the next phase of the research, Ms. Harden plans to closely examine the contexts of early teen sexual activity, such as the types of relationships teenagers are having, the age of partners, where sex occurred, what were the reasons they had sex, and how long their relationships lasted. She and her colleagues will then try to relate that to later behaviours and attitudes.

Our hypothesis as a result of this finding is that teens who become involved in intimate romantic relationships early are having sex early and more often, but that those intimate relationships might later protect them from becoming involved in delinquent acts later. People assume there is an association between early sex and later delinquency. It could be because teen sex transgresses parental expectations and is seen as impulsive or influenced by peer pressure. But people’s concerns about early sex leading to delinquency may not be warranted.

Harden does acknowledge that early teen sex is linked to early pregnancy and disease, but these risks are not inevitable. She notes that in other Western countries, such as Australia, there are patterns and rates of teen sexual activity similar to the United States, but drastically lower rates of teen pregnancy. She attributes this to a poor level of sexual health knowledge in the United States, ineffective contraceptive use and lower abortion rates.

Posted by Jonathan as Psychology, Sociology at 12:01 AM GMT

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In the Milgram studies of obedience we can see evidence of strong pressure in our society for compliance with the requests of an authority. Acting contrary to their own preferences, many normal psychologically healthy individuals were willing to deliver dangerous and severe levels of pain to another person because they were directed to do so by an authority figure. The strength of this tendency to obey legitimate authorities comes from systematic socialization practises designed to instil in members of society the perception that such obedience constitutes correct conduct. In addition, it is frequently adaptive to obey the dictates of genuine authorities because such individuals usually possess high levels of knowledge, wisdom and power. For these reasons, deference to authorities can occur in a mindless fashion as a kind of decision-making shortcut.

When reacting to authority in an automatic fashion, there is a tendency to do so in response to the mere symbols of authority rather than to its substance.

Three kinds of symbols that have been shown by research to be effective in this regard are:

1. Titles

2. Clothing

3. Automobiles

In separate studies investigating the influence of these symbols, individuals possessing one or another of them (and no other legitimizing credentials) were accorded more deference or obedience by those they encountered. Moreover, in each instance, individuals who deferred or obeyed underestimated the effect of authority pressures on their behaviours.

It is possible to defend ourselves against the detrimental effects of authority influence by asking two questions:

1. Is this authority truly an expert?

2. How truthful can we expect this expert to be?

The first question directs our attention away from symbols and toward evidence for authority status. The second advises us to consider not just the expert’s knowledge in the situation, but also his or her trustworthiness. With regard to this second consideration, we should be alert to the trust-enhancing tactic in which communicators first provide some mildly negative information about themselves. Through this strategy they can create a perception of honesty that makes subsequent information seem more credible to observers.

Posted by Jonathan as Psychology at 10:00 PM GMT

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Research has suggested that testosterone is linked with aggression. Other studies have shown that when men have sex, their endocrine system’s release a cocktail of chemicals, including serotonin, norepinephrine, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and prolactin. All of which makes them feel extremely relaxed and happy; further, this mixture seems to act to counter the effects of testosterone.

It’s therefore my belief that in some instances, where males aren’t having any sex, they get increasingly aggressive, eventually ending up becoming violent and possibly even committing petty crimes; or at least generally making a nuisance of themselves, for the rest of society to sort out.

So, I suspect I may have touched a nerve with one of these gentlemen, who writes in a somewhat aggressive manner that “Seduction” is a bad thing because he feels that there is an implication of manipulation and deceit attached to the word, and therefore he proposes that “attraction” would be a more suitable alternative, the website should be renamed and etc. (the rest of his e-mail is an unqualified rant, unfortunately)

Normally, this type of missive goes straight to the trash, but my highly-strung new friend does make an attempt to backup part of his argument with evidence, so he has to be commended for that. He thus claims that the dictionary defines Seduction as:

The act of seducing; enticement to wrong doing; specifically, the offense of inducing a woman to consent to unlawful sexual intercourse, by enticements which overcome her scruples; the wrong or crime of persuading a woman to surrender her chastity.

Unfortunately for him, the Internet gives everybody access to the world’s largest source of information, and it’s therefore extremely easy to check references; whereupon it seems that this definition is his own fabrication, since the meaning doesn’t appear in the online version of the Oxford English Dictionary, and the rather handy Dictionary.com says:

se·duc·tion
–noun

1. an act or instance of seducing, esp. sexually.
2. the condition of being seduced.
3. a means of seducing; enticement; temptation.

Maybe this fellow’s bizarre belief stems from the fact that he thinks Seduction is a “game” (I sincerely hope he doesn’t mean seducers should persuade girls to go “on the game“). Maybe he means this in the same sense as someone I once met who boasted that he was “Gaming the System”, which he explained as obtaining money he wasn’t properly entitled too, or perhaps he thinks that he is a “Player”? However, I would posit that in a game, one has a chance of losing a lot more than in a seduction. A knock-back from someone you are trying to seduce is not nearly as unpleasant as a broken leg from playing Rugby, losing all your money playing Poker, and certainly not in the same league as the consequences of losing a game of Russian roulette. Perhaps a Lottery would be a better analogy, because one would only tend to lose the entry fee; but then to suggest that Seduction is completely random completely defeats the point of trying to have a rich and varied sex life.

Back to the original point of this article, I would suggest that manipulation in seduction is a good thing. Clearly, it would be extremely unusual for any sane person to walk straight up to a stranger and honestly propose that they should have sex together; at least not without a certain amount of initial manipulation.

As an example, if I meet some attractive girls somewhere, they’re probably pretty much ho-hum about meeting yet another guy; possibly they’re even slightly disinterested. After all, a lot of guys are fools that have no respect for women; so why should they make the effort to be nice, especially when they probably have random guys wandering up to them on a semi-regular basis.

So, I need to manipulate them into seeing me in a more positive light, get them enjoying my company, and wanting more of it… Then I can work on getting to manipulate them in the bedroom, but that’s a whole different story.

On the other side of the coin, the same women probably want to meet a man that they can have fun with, enjoy some intelligent company, and know that he won’t spend all evening insulting them, trying to touch them inappropriately (and other dumb stuff that some guys try), since I would imagine that the same dim-witted guy, assuming he had sex at all, would then spend the next month bragging about it to all his mates, and ruining some poor girls reputation in the process.

So, in western society, there’s a taboo against girls walking up to guys they don’t know, at least not without an excellent reason. But women still need to attract quality men… How do they do this? Well, they’ll manipulate their appearances, using make-up, Wonder bras, nice clothes and hairdos etc., to make themselves look more attractive.

In summary, therefore, attraction is a passive process mostly used by women who aren’t prepared to approach men directly, whilst seduction is an active process. As a simpler example, someone might claim “I was attracted to the painting…” (a passive process) “…and the Salesperson seduced me into buying it, when they offered good credit terms / a discount / free framing” (an active process). This just doesn’t work the other way round.

So, for many men, myself included, unless we get extensive cosmetic surgery, lose weight, gain height, develop a six-pack, a sense of fashion and then go on to discover the fountain of youth; the chances of a woman being passively attracted and then instigating sex, are slight at best. Ergo, attractiveness is more of a bonus that you either have or you don’t, whereas seduction is a skill that can be made explicit and is therefore transferable from person to person.

As to deceit, that’s generally a bad thing, but then deceit was never mentioned in any of the definitions of seduction already listed. Although, I’ve given this a little thought, and it’s certainly possible that even deceit has a small use in seduction. For example, when I’ve been asked for my opinion, by a girl I’m going out with, as to whether she should change the dress she’s wearing for the one she’s holding; I’m savvy enough to know that the best answer is to tell her “keep the one you’re wearing on”. After all, she’s probably spent some considerable time deciding what to wear, and my knowledge of women’s fashion is on a par with my knowledge of Quantum theory. I’m sure she knows this too, and since I figure she’ll look good in either dress, I know that what she really wants is a quick confidence boost, and not a teary debate about dress styles with a guy that doesn’t really have much opinion either way.

Alternatively, many people hold strong views about inconsequential things. So, how many times have you, dear reader, been at the start of a relationship with someone that appeared to be a lovely person in almost all respects, except they support a different football team to you, perhaps they venerate some over-rated celebrity that you wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire, or quite possibly they are simply opposed to promiscuity, while you spend time reading websites like Seduction Labs.

In this situation, you can be honest (and I’ll admire your principles if you are), but let’s face it, it’s more than likely going to jam a spanner in the works of your seduction. You could of course skirt the issue and wind up looking rather shifty, or you could just be deceitful (the sin of omission is deceit too) over a trivial matter that will most likely be forgotten within a short time and probably never mentioned again, at least until your relationship is on a firmer footing, and more able to deal with such ripples.

So, finally, if we don’t manipulate, we’ll more than likely just end up with a bored seducee, a worthless phone number or simply asked to ‘Please go away’. Of course, in no way am I suggesting that one should lie all the time, just occasionally it’s best to stay quiet or bend the truth a little.

Chris Rock tells an amusing anecdote about how both men and women lie, but men tell small petty lies. According to Mr. Rock, a man might say “I’m going bowling”, not realising that the woman already knows that he’s lying, because he does it all the time. But the woman might say “It’s your baby!”

Posted by Jonathan as Biochemistry, Philosophy at 11:24 PM GMT

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People prefer to say yes to individuals they know and like. Recognising this rule, compliance professionals commonly increase their overall effectiveness by emphasizing several factors that increase their overall attractiveness and Likeability.

One feature of a person that influences overall liking is physical attractiveness. Although it has long been suspected that physical beauty provides an advantage in social interaction, research indicates that the advantage may be greater than supposed. Physical attractiveness seems to engender a ‘halo effect’ that extends to favourable impressions of other traits such as talent, kindness, and intelligence. As a result, attractive people are more persuasive both in terms of getting what they request and in changing others’ attitudes.

A second factor that influences both liking and compliance is similarity. We like people who are like us, and we are more willing to say yes to their requests, often in an unthinking manner.

Another factor that produces Liking is praise. Although they can sometimes backfire, when crudely transparent, compliments generally enhance liking and thus compliance.

Increased familiarity through repeated contact with a person or thing is yet another factor that normally facilitates liking. This relationship holds true principally when the contact takes place under positive rather than negative circumstances. One positive circumstance that works especially well is mutual and successful cooperation.

A fifth factor linked to liking is association. By connecting themselves or their products with positive things, advertisers, politicians and merchandisers frequently seek to share in the positivity through the process of association. Other individuals as well (sports fans, for example) appear to recognize the effect of simple connections and try to associate themselves with favourable events and distance themselves from unfavourable ones in the eyes of observers.

A potentially effective strategy for reducing the unwanted influence of liking on compliance decisions requires a special sensitivity to the experience of undue liking for a requester. Upon recognising that we like a requester inordinately well under the circumstances, we should take a step back from the social interaction, mentally separate the requester from his or her offer, and make any compliance decision based solely on merits of the offer.

Posted by Jonathan as Psychology at 4:13 PM GMT

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In a recently published article, Susan M. Hughes, Marissa A. Harrison, and Gordon G. Gallup, Jr. surveyed 1,041 students (using three different questionnaires) about their attitudes to kissing (journal of Evolutionary Psychology [5(3):612-631, 2007]). The study found only five people who had never experienced romantic kissing, and more than 200 who estimated having kissed 21 or more partners.

According to the study, kissing between sexual or romantic partners occurs in over 90% of human cultures, and even some non-human animals, such as Bonobos appear to engage in kissing-like behaviours, blowing in each other’s faces, licking, sucking or rubbing their partner’s faces before sex.

Many of the responses to the surveys were predictable: women, for example, placed more emotional importance on a kiss, valuing kisses during and after sex, and continuing throughout a relationship; whilst men tended to see kissing as a means to obtain sex or initiate reconciliation; and placed less importance on kissing throughout the progression of a relationship.

In contrast, females kissed to establish and monitor the status of their relationship, and to periodically gauge the level of commitment of a partner.

Slightly over half the men claimed they would have sex with someone without kissing, compared to just fifteen percent of the women. Men were also more likely to claim that a “good kiss” was one with tongue contact, where ‘my partner makes little moaning noises’.

In separate research, another survey (Gallup, 2007) revealed that 59% of male respondents and 66% of female respondents had found themselves interested in someone, only to discover that they were no longer attracted after they’d kissed them for the first time.

The researchers therefore speculate that the exchange of saliva during kissing may have biological consequences, since male saliva contains measurable amounts of testosterone, which could affect libido. And, since males have reduced chemosensory detection compared to females, they may require greater salivary exchange in order to respond to the various components in a female’s saliva.

Dr. Gallup said:

The complicated exchange of information that occurs during a kiss may inform evolved, unconscious mechanisms about instances of possible genetic incompatibility.

In other words, while many forces lead two people to connect romantically, the kiss, particularly the first kiss, can be a deal breaker.

The researchers concluded that the study provides evidence that romantic kissing evolved as an adaptive courtship strategy that functions as a mate-assessment technique, a means of initiating sexual arousal and receptivity, and also as a way of unconsciously maintaining a bonded relationship.

The full paper can be found here; and I’m grateful to Oliver, for drawing my attention to this research.

Posted by Jonathan as Biochemistry, Sociobiology at 10:07 AM GMT

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The principle of Social Proof states that one important means that people use to decide what to believe or how to act in a situation is to look at what other people are believing or doing there. Powerful imitative effects have been found among both children and adults and in such diverse activities as purchase decisions, charity donations, and phobia remission. The principle of Social Proof can be used to stimulate a person’s compliance with a request by informing the person that many other individuals (the more, the better) are or have been complying with it.

Social proof is most influential under two conditions:

1. Uncertainty: When people are unsure, when the situation is ambiguous, they are more likely to attend to the actions of others and to accept those actions as correct. In ambiguous situations, for instance, the decisions of bystanders to help are much more influenced by the actions of other bystanders than when the situation is a clear-cut emergency.

2. Similarity: People are more inclined to follow the lead of similar others. Evidence for the powerful effect of the actions of similar others on human behaviour can be readily seen in the suicide statistics compiled by Sociologist David Phillips. Those statistics indicate that after a highly publicized suicide story other troubled individuals, who are similar to the suicide-story victim, decide to kill themselves. An analysis of the mass suicide incident at Jonestown, Guyana, suggests that the group’s leader, Reverend Jim Jones, used both of the factors of uncertainty and similarity to induce a herd like suicide response from a majority of the Jonestown population.

Recommendations to reduce susceptibility to faulty social proof include a sensitivity to clearly counterfeit evidence of what similar others are doing and a recognition that the actions of similar others should not form a sole basis for our decisions.

Posted by Jonathan as Psychology at 10:10 AM GMT

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