Oftentimes, we see the craziest stuff in films, but the strangest thing is that some people actually think it’s all based on fact, when in actuality, most of what you see on TeeVee or film is just contrived to meet a stereotype, and boost ratings, so that advertisers fork over more $$$.
Seducers will be familiar with the guy and girl get married and live happily ever after scenes, from most Hollywood endings, and realise that that’s not how real life works. And, as for girls being rude and bitchy to guys ALL the time, that’s completely daft.
Now, I was sent this list ages back, so I have no idea where it first came from, but I think it illustrates my point perfectly, and in an extremely funny way.
1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people (whether they are employed or not).
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
4. All laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien army.
5. It doesn’t matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one-by-one, dancing around in a threatening manner, until you have knocked out their predecessors.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
8. Honest and hard-working Policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one loaf of French bread.
12. It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, provided there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off (even while scuba diving).
14. You’re very likely to survive any battle, in any war, unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do fine.
16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
20. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
21. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, with large red readouts, so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
22. A Detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
23. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
24. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their complete opposite.
25. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.
Posted by Jonathan in Humour