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Whilst this film is probably most useful as entertainment, rather than some type of pickup guide, Roger Dodger does contain some excellent dialogue.
The first scene in particular amply demonstrates a man that is confident, charismatic and able to subtly move conversation in any direction he wants; but a man who is also exceptionally devious and unable to form intimate relationships with anyone.
Several times we’ve seen people hoodwinked by over-hyped and poorly tested theories; most notably Baker and Bellis’ Kamikaze Sperm Hypothesis, or just plain pseudo-scientific fabrication, such as virtually any theory which starts “50,000 years ago…” that you may perchance have read on other seduction related websites.
Instead of taking these theories literally, simply because they might sound like they could be true; try considering what is the outcome that the communicator is trying to induce amongst the members of his audience?
With this in mind, have another look at the first scene from Roger Dodger:
Roger Dodger - Opening scene: Five Co-workers in a Restaurant
Roger: What’s happening right now, is important only in the context of our continuing evolution as a species.
Donovan: Roger, Roger, all I’m saying is that I wish my sister would learn to read a subway map.
Roger: And, by saying that, you disregard the primary importance of utility … in human relationships.
Roger: Our ability; Man’s, Men’s ability to read maps, to navigate, makes us useful. You should discourage your sister from even looking at a map.
Joyce: Are you saying: that we women have an inferior sense of direction?
Roger: Which way is North, Joyce, without looking around?
Joyce: What?
Roger: You heard me. Point North quick. North North. Quick! North, North… Nooorrth (Point’s north).
Donovan: You’re right.
Joyce: Is he right?
Donovan: He’s right.
Elaine: [Clapping] Very impressive.
Roger: As she has throughout history; the female responds to the male who displays the most utility. By honing those skills which make me useful, I stave off my inevitable obsolescence.
Donovan: So, what? You stay home honing your ability to program a VCR?
Christopher: My VCR’s been flashing twelve o’clock for three years.
Elaine: What else, Roger?
Joyce: Oh, driving a standard shift. Lifting heavy things.
Elaine: Air guitar.
Group: [Laughter]
Roger: Yes, yes. Go ahead and chuckle, okay? But until women evolve the ability to move objects telepathically - And they will - Physical strength remains a primary utility.
Donovan: Here’s to brute strength then! (Offers a toast).
Group: [Laughter]
Joyce: You know Roger, you’re forgetting a very important male utility.
Roger: What’s that? Barbecuing?
Joyce: (Shakes head) … Sex.
Elaine: Yeah. I want a guy to do more than just program my VCR.
Donovan: Oh, Elaine, I’ll program your VCR, Baby, like you never had it.
Elaine: It’s a top-loader. You think you can handle that?
Roger: Interestingly, a group of scientists in England, just announced their intention to fertilize an egg without the use of sperm cells.
Joyce: No…? I don’t understand that.
Roger: Every cell in the human body contains a copy of the genome pattern. The only reason sperm cells have all the fun is that up until now… they were the only ones with access. Within Christopher’s lifetime, artificial insemination will render sperm as useless as an assembly line worker in Detroit.
Donovan: Luckily, my accountant set up a golden parachute for my sperm years ago… In case they were downsized.
Group: [Laughter]
Joyce: Just so you know, Roger, you know that we women… make love because we like it… Not just to procreate.
Elaine: Yeah.
Roger: But are men absolutely necessary?
Joyce: I don’t know about that.
Roger: Think of the structure of the female genitalia.
Donovan: Wait, wait… Okay, got it.
Group: [Laughter]
Roger: What is the most sensitive part of the vagina?
Elaine: I can’t believe we’ve gotten into this.
Joyce: I think you know this, Donovan.
Roger: It’s the clitoris, first discovered by Renaldus Columbus in 1559.
Donovan: First he thought it was India.
Group: [Laughter] Oh, no! No!
Roger: The crown of the clitoris contains 8,000 nerve fibres. It’s a far greater concentration than in any part of the male body… even our fingertips. It is the most efficient pleasure-delivery system ever devised by nature.
Roger: Now, ask yourself… Why didn’t the clitoris end up inside the vagina? So that intercourse would be naturally… compellingly… constantly pleasurable for a woman?
Joyce: (Raises hand) I know the answer.
Roger: Yes, Ms. Maynard.
Joyce: Because: in primitive time, women died of childbirth. So for intercourse to be too pleasurable - wouldn’t make sense from a Darwinian standpoint.
Donovan: I’m impressed.
Roger: Absolutely right… So, What does that tell us?
Elaine: That Evolution is looking out for us girls?
Joyce: Exactly.
Roger: That for women… intercourse and sexual fulfilment were never intended to intersect. New technology just makes it official.
Roger: Future generations of women will evolve clitorises - clitori, clitorati -
Joyce: Clitorissimo.
Group: [Laughter]
Roger: That are larger, longer, even more sensitive. And a woman’s ability, as well as her desire to self-stimulate will increase exponentially; as intercourse is robbed of its procreative utility.
Christopher: I’m confused; and frightened.
Roger: You should be… The species is not static, okay… We’re in a constant state of flux.
Roger: Two genders has been the default setting for one reason only: So far, it’s been the only way to propagate the race.
Elaine: Is there any species that just has one gender… that doesn’t have male or female?
Roger: Starfish, for one.
Donovan: Next time I see a starfish, I’m gonna tell him to go fuck himself.
Group: [Silence]
Donovan: Come on. You love it.
Elaine: No, we don’t.
Roger: So where are we headed… Equality? Equality; what is that?
Roger: Is that a principle of nature? We all sit around reading Subway maps together…
Roger: No, of course not. Natural selection. Now that is a principle of nature. Selection. Something has to lose, something has to be defeated, in order for something else to be selected. So, what does this mean?
Donovan: Means we all have to take orders from Joyce for the rest of lives.
Joyce: That’s right. I like that.
Roger: It means that ten or fifteen generations from now… men will be reduced to servitude. Technology and evolution will have combined, to exclude sperm from procreation. And our final destiny will be to lift couches, and wait for that day when telepathy overcomes gravity, and our gender’s last remaining utility is lost forever.
Joyce: Forever… [Laughter]
Elaine: Oh, my God, Roger.
Roger: [Looks to Donovan]
Donovan: What? I’m done.
Roger: Then I rest my case.
Group: [Applause]
Roger: Thank you.
Roger: Love you people.
Posted by Jonathan in Art & Literature, Psychology