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An article in today’s Times2, which seemed mainly to gripe about men’s roles in society, and propose that women are on the whole rather unpleasant; suggested that men prefer to get dumped by women at the end of a relationship. Included in the article was an amusing list of ways to get dumped by a woman. So, dear reader, if you should find yourself in the position of wanting to be dumped, the following tips might be of use to you:
- Leave love letters from old girlfriends on your bedside table
- Never flush the toilet
- Forget her birthday
- Tell her that you don’t believe in marriage (doubly effective if you are married)
- Tell her that you have had a Vasectomy
- When you are patently sober, proposition - or even attempt to smooch with - your partner’s best friend.
- While sitting next to her, send her a text message reading “She’s being a right pain in the a**e today”. Then say out loud: “Sorry, that wasn’t meant for you.”
- Accidentally call her “Gordon” in bed.
- Invite your male friends around for a porn evening. Ask her to cook.
- Ask her who her perfect man is. When she says “Brad Pitt” and asks about your perfect woman, say “the receptionist at work”
Posted by Jonathan in Humour