The Scientific method is a useful tool for modelling new technical skills and acquiring new knowledge, as well as for correcting and integrating previous information. Unfortunately, several times I have spoken to gentlemen who tell me that they should like to meet more women, but their friends seem rather more interested in going out and getting completely drunk than applying a systematic approach to having more sex. Given this appalling state of knowledge, it therefore seems that I would be doing a great service to women, everywhere, by giving men in general some clues about how to meet women, without leching, leering or committing some form of sexual assault in the process. Whilst I write this article primarily for men, I believe that the same principles should hold true for more proactive girls who may wish to seduce a man themselves.

Evolutionary biology tells us that males would like to have as much sex as possible, while women would like to make the best choice possible when selecting a sexual partner. Although women in general seem happiest to wait around until a reasonable prospect presents itself, men are predictably keener to generate new prospects. Thus the male strategies seem to fall into one of three main schools of thought.

1. The generally ignorant: who seem to believe that women will respond favourably to a drunken “You’re sexy”, “Nice jugs” or an offer to purchase a drink.
2. Readers of standard dating literature: who apparently believe that waiting about for the perfect opportunity is the way to go, even if it takes many many years to arrive.
3. More interestingly, (and perhaps more disturbing) are those who have paid money to Seduction panjandrums, and now believe they are competing in some type of competition.

I propose that the simpler and more effective way is as follows: The first section is the most important. It can be given as guidance to a friend, in only a few minutes. The second section consists of points that will help, if you are prepared to sit down, think and formulate a strategy.

1. Stay relatively sober – Obviously you do not want to look like a recovering alcoholic or the designated driver, but too much alcohol will impair your judgement, and you will end up doing stupid and unattractive things.
2. You need to be relaxed and have an upbeat talkative attitude – Agree that for a few hours, you’re going to leave all your problems at home, and stay away from overly serious conversation. For many people I’ve met, fun seems to consist of trying to ‘Network’ everyone they meet. Personally, I have found that spending anything more than a short while with someone who insists upon asking the same tired questions over and over again to be highly tedious and boring.
3. If you are with a friend – They should understand that they either join the conversation, or stay out of the way. I have been told many times, by different women that seeing men standing around, staring at them, and looking creepy makes them feel uncomfortable. It is not hard to have a conversation; if your friend is painfully shy all they have to do is nod and agree with you occasionally, smile and look cheerful. (See recommended media section for advice on therapeutic interventions)
4. If you must analyse your performance – Do it just before you go home; sitting about and crying into a beer for ages because some girl didn’t like you accomplishes nothing. If something goes wrong (and it will do, quite often) the answers are usually always pretty similar. Likewise, success is its own reward, and excessive back-slapping also accomplishes nothing. Perhaps the most effective way is to spend a few moments sitting somewhere quietly, and reviewing all the interactions you had. Soon enough, you’ll realise what you were doing wrong, and can plan to do something different next time you are in that situation.

I’m sure you will agree that this isn’t rocket science: if you can follow the guidelines above then you are already way ahead of the average person. So, onward to more advanced tactics.

1. Pay attention, and communicate – Your primary goal is having fun, so make sure your friends are having a good time; if they’re out of their depth, or you’re boring them to tears, while they are too shy to tell you, then they won’t be having fun and will probably leave. Likewise, if you are unhappy with something they have said or done, make sure you take them aside, and explain what is making you upset.
2. People sometimes think it’s funny or clever to sabotage things – Jealousy is very unattractive: if your friends blatantly sabotage you, they are being unhelpful and you should reconsider who you spend your time with. Accidental sabotage is a different matter; it’s good to make mistakes, just so long as you learn from them.
3. Whoever starts the conversation gets the first choice – It’s probably best to agree who in advance, so that no arguments break out later. However, this may change if it turns out that the selected person has no personality, or blatantly prefers your friend to you. Whoever grasped the nettle of starting a conversation deserves first choice, and no matter how funny or clever you might think it would be to steal the choice, it’s just bad manners. If you wanted to lead, you should have started the conversation.
4. If you feel bored, frustrated, too serious or unhappy – Leave: you can always come back later, when you feel better. There are plenty of people about, and you have ample time to organise a seduction.
5. If you are out with a friend, realise that it is your job get them laid, and their job to get you laid. You work as a team, not as competitors. This also includes the possibility that you might end up talking to someone whom you feel no attraction for, while possibly your friend gets to know someone much more attractive; and vice versa.
6. Realise that being sociable isn’t a non-stop activity. Sometimes, nothing may happen for ages, other times you might end up chatting to someone for an hour or more. If you are with a friend, they either need to have patience or they can leave and catch up later, there is no need for them to be your tail. Most people have cell phones these days, and it’s easy to stay in touch.
7. It is very bad manners to go bragging to your friends – Just because some girl gave you her number, or said she liked you, you should still exercise self-control. If you really have so little power of mind, at the very least, do your boasting and high-fiving out of earshot of the people you were just speaking to.

You might also enjoy reading:-

• The ‘Ovary’ Response
• Mating motives can shape friendships (and attract trouble)
• Avoiding cockblocking
• The Cockblock
• In the papers

Posted by Jonathan in Philosophy, Psychology

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